Not the Girl you knew
by HarunoRin
Summary: It's been five years now, and Team 7 never gave up. Maybe they should have.
1. Running

**Well here we are after a long time away from fanfiction I am back with a new story! This one's a little different to the stuff I've done before, it'll be much more mature content-wise, and the story is much darker.**

**Standard Disclaimer applies, in that I don't own the characters, just the stuff I'm putting them through :P  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Branches whipped against my face as I leapt from branch to branch, mind on anything, <em>anything <em>but what was behind me. The rain was harsh, cold, painful against my naked arms as I ran through the woods.

What was I doing?

This was stupid.

I was just running away.

Avoiding it.

Avoiding him!

What would Tsunade think?

But I was too teary, too angry and humiliated to care. Too tired and hungry to realize the sheer insanity of what I was doing... what I had _done._

All because of one stupid, drunken fling, and then one careless comment.

Well no that wasn't it completely.

I was a medical nin, second only to Tsunade, and even then it was debatable. It had reached the stage where we were sharing with each other what we knew, rather than one of us teaching the other.

I had a career, friends, a life. But here I was throwing it all away.

And it didn't feel like I had a choice.


	2. Summer blossom, Flower Child

"Ayaka-san!"

I turned around and smiled at the elderly woman who had called me. "Taniyama-san." I bowed. "Is everything alright?"

The greying woman smiled genially as she hobbled over to me. "Only that I wanted to tell you what happened while you were away." She clasped her hands in front of her. "Hanako is so adorable, she came right up to me and told me that if I didn't want her to cry, I must give her a cookie. And the little thing sounded so serious I couldn't resist!"

I smiled wearily, scratching my cheek, embarrassed. "She's so terrible. I'm sorry that she teases you like that. She just likes to manipulate people." I frowned. "Did she eat her dinner?"

"Well she told me she had developed an oral allergy to fruit and vegetables..."

"The little imp!" I frowned, and Taniyama chuckled. "I'll talk to her, perhaps I can teach her some sense."

Taniyama adjusted her hair, too charmed by Hanako herself to be too angry. "Oh never you mind. She's so clever that I just go along with it. It's good that she's so resourceful."

I heard a soft shuffle behind Taniyama and I rolled my eyes. "Hanako, you some out here and apologise to Taniyama-san." At my command, the small girl emerged from behind the woman.

Large, doleful green eyes met my own before sliding away, looking chastised. She twisted her fingers together and muttered to her feet. "Sorry, Taniyama-san."

"I can't hear you."

The guise slipped, and Hanako fixed me with a glare. "Sorry, Taniyama-san." She said, louder, and as the old woman cooed and tottered away, I reached out to the girl, waiting.

After a moment's hesitation, she approached me slowly and jumped up a little. Prepared for this, I bent down and caught her, pulling her up onto my hip, catching a kiss from the three year old. "I told you not to cause trouble." I muttered, supporting the girl on my hip as I climbed up the stairs by Taniyama's home, up to the attic apartment we rented from the old inn-keeper. "She has a business to run."

"She doesn't mind." Hanako said flatly. "She loves me." Her green eyes, so adult, looked around my body, spotting the bag at my hip. "Did your work go well?"

"Aren't you a little young to be worrying about my work?" I smirked, taking her ankles so that she flipped upside down, shrieking and wriggling as I held her out in front of me while walking.

"No! No! Mummy let me go!" She cried, trying desperately to keep her giggles in as she waved her arms indignantly. "Not fair! You're bigger than me!"

"And you." I said very calmly, as I unlocked the door and dropped her onto the sofa by the door. "Are cleverer than Taniyama-san." I leant down to meet her eyes. "Is it fair that you trick her into giving you treats?"

"Nm." Hanako mumbled into the cushion. I took it as a no, and ruffled her hair.

"Good girl. We're very lucky that she's so kind." And so stupid, I added silently. It had been a year since I'd found this place, and managed to start a life here. After so long being on the move, it was good to be able to sleep in a bed I could call my own, and Hanako had been able to finally have toys and possessions other than the doll I'd picked up in Iwa.

Yes, it was a good life. Despite what I'd lost before.

But it didn't matter. Hanako was everything now, and I would never let anything hurt her. It had been hard, but I understood what mothers meant now, when they said they'd prize their child's lives over any other.

Right now, I would slaughter a thousand people to keep Hanako safe.

"Mummy?" I looked around to see Hanako's wide eyes, so like my own, fixed on me with concern I'd seen in people many years older than she. "You ok?"

"Of course, Hana-chan, just tired." I smiled. "Since you can't eat fruit anymore I suppose I have to throw out these strawberries?" Ignoring her protests I sighed, as though severely disappointed. "What a waste."

"No! Mummy they're mine! I want them!"

"But won't your mouth feel hot and sore?"

"No, mummy! I don't have an allergy!" She rushed over to me, tripping over her own feet to stand between me and the bin. "Please please please!"

Laughing lightly, I knelt down and winked. "Next time, you eat every last scrap of food Taniyama-san gives you, and you don't ask for any extra, got it?"

"Yes." She pouted and I laughed, never having seen an expression quite like that on anyone but her. "Can I have some strawberries please?"

Nodding, I put the punnet on the table and searched the cupboards for two bowls. "Did you have fun today, playing with Taniyama-san? What did you do?"

"I played with one of the guests. He's nice but weird." Hanako stated, picking out a strawberry as she sat down.

"Now, now." I chastised. "You don't call people names, it's rude."

"Well he is." She insisted. "He kept asking me things." I stilled, with the bowls in hand. Impatiently, Hanako fixed me with a disapproving glare and took her bowl, filling it up with most of the strawberries.

Every nerve in my body was on end. all my ninja senses were screaming that this was wrong. "What did he ask?"

"About you, and me. How old I was, what I liked to do, what your job was, what my daddy's job was." She shrugged. "He liked talking."

I forced myself to calm down. Anyone would indulge Hanako's need for attention, even if they were in this tiny resort town to escape life, Hanako had the sort of aura that made anyone bend to her will. If she liked you, you fell in love with her.

It didn't mean this man was out to hurt Hanako. It didn't mean he was a creep, it just meant he was another victim of hers.

"I'm sure I'll see him tomorrow." I smiled. "Did you like him?"

"Yes." Hanako nodded, helping herself to more of the strawberries. "He's good at hide and seek. And he talks to me like a grown up."

"That's nice." I grinned. "I'll have to say hello when I see him. What room was he in?"

"7." Hanako said. "The one with the private bath."

"Oh, the honeymoon room? Did you force your way in on a married couple, Hanako?" I scolded, frowning in irritation. "I've told you not to go where you're not welcome."

"I didn't!" She protested. "It's just him! He said he like to have the best room wherever he is."

I rolled my eyes. I'd have to keep an eye out tomorrow, to apologize. I was always apologizing after Hanako, the girl was so precocious she thought it was her right to everyone's attention.

Maybe if she'd had a dad...

But these things can't be helped.

* * *

><p>The next morning, after dropping off Hanako at the day nursery, I stood at the gate with a smile on my face. I really was so lucky. I felt a familiar presence behind me and smiled. "You shouldn't sneak up on people, Daisuke-kun." I chided, turning to smile at him over my shoulder. The man laughed lightly and leaned against the fence beside me.<p>

"You're psychic, you know that?" The brown haired young man smiled, warm brown eyes twinkling playfully. "I hoped I'd catch you."

"Oh?" I turned to face him. "Is something wrong with Hanako?"

"Not at all, she's a wonderful girl." I blushed. "Very clever, a great student."

"Very manipulative, you mean." I corrected, sighing. "I swear she has everyone wrapped around her little finger. It's not fair." I shook my head. "I was so shy at her age, couldn't even whisper what I wanted, let alone demand it."

Daisuke nodded thoughtfully, not saying anything. I smiled to distract him from his thoughts, using Sai's old trick -though hopefully I was better at it- to turn his thoughts away from where I knew they were headed. _Maybe she gets it from her father._

"Was there something you wanted, Daisuke-kun?"

"Well yes, actually." He grinned cheekily. "Want to go out with me?"

* * *

><p>"Ayaka-san, the man from room 7 hasn't left his room all day." The young maid frowned, leaning across the front desk lazily. "How am I meant to clean up after him? I can't just go in... what if he's in the bath?"<p>

I frowned. It was unusual for a guest to stay in all day, especially if they were alone. "Tomi-chan, don't laze about so." I scolded, and checked the books. "Hatami-san may have had a long day traveling yesterday." But despite my own words, I was growing curious. It was nearly three, and almost unheard of for any guests to stay inside for lunch. "Has he ordered room service?"

"No, Ayaka-san. Nothing." Tomi sighed. "I wonder if he's alive in there. He did look old."

"Hmm." I fingered the master key thoughtfully. "I'll go and check on him in a bit, can you change clothes and take the desk for a bit?" I smiled to myself; Tomi had been wanting a front desk job since I arrived. She'd been furious at first that me, a newcomer, had landed the job so easily. Luckily for both of us, she got over it- too happy to have someone closer to her age to talk to.

"Be right back." Tomi grinned and vanished to change into the uniform Taniyama enforced for the front of house staff. A pale green kimono with grey obi. simple, but elegant.

My shoulder length pink hair had been tied back in a loose bun, and I wore a little green cap with the onsen's name on the front.

At first, I'd dyed my hair, but shortly before arriving here I'd changed it back. It was fine being a perfectly nondescript pregnant woman, but if your child had pink hair it was difficult to hide, and when Hanako had asked to dye her hair so she wouldn't be different anymore it had broken my heart.

Then I'd found this tiny resort town, one of the gems of rural Wind country, a hot spring resort. In Suna, years back, I had spotted one or two others with pink hair, even if it hadn't been as bright as mine it was less rare than in Konoha.

Even Taniyama's grey hair held streaks of strawberry blonde.

Many of the customers assumed I was simply Taniyama's daughter, and since both Tomi and I referred to her as Obaa-san, it seemed stupid to contradict them.

It wasn't long before I was stood outside the door to room 7 and, has had become a practice of habit, I scanned the room inside for signs of a chakra signature I recognized.

Finding none, I knocked gently. "Hatami-san?" I asked in my work-voice, softer and more lilting. "Hatami-san are you inside?"

"Come in." The man inside called, voice muffled by age or whatever he'd fallen onto. I tried the door, and on finding it was locked, frowned in concern.

"Don't worry, Hatami-san, I have a spare key." I assured him, and entered the room.

Keeping my eyes low, I bowed respectfully. "I'm sorry for intruding. Is there anything I can help you with, sir?"

I heard a quiet gasp, and kept my head down. If he was indecent then I'd just have to leave slowly...

"You're Ayaka-san?" His voice sounded strange somehow. Thick.

I bowed again. "Yes, Hatami-san. I must thank you for looking after my daughter yesterday. She can be a handful, but she seemed quite taken with you."

"She's a wonderful girl, you should be proud." His voice was softer, but strained now. I kept my head bowed, used to the eccentricities of some customers. "Forgive me asking, but you aren't wearing a ring..."

"No." I bit out, a little taken aback at his forwardness. I looked up at the old man sat on the bed and met his eyes steadily. "Hanako wasn't born into wedlock." This was rude of me, and he'd probably complain to Taniyama, but really- the nerve of this old man!

He was balding, with dark eyes and a droopy chin. He wore the hotel standard white yukata, and was reading a book on his bed. He looked away. "I'm sorry." He murmured softly. "It must have been difficult. Looking after a child while travelling."

Something about the way he said it, something in this words, my eyes widened in horror as I felt my stomach fill with lead. In a fluid motion, I'd kicked the door closed and pinned the man to the bed, keeping all of his limbs locked.

"Konoha sent you." I snarled, wishing I'd dispelled the genjutsu first. I had no way of knowing who this was, of what this ninja's skills were. Things I'd know if I could see their real face. The man looked surprised, but didn't fight back, which made me even more nervous. "How many of you are there?"

"Just me." He sighed, and I felt sick. "Is Hanako really your daughter?"

"No." I gasped, desperately. "Some kid I picked up off the street."

He knew I was lying, I knew it. And he knew I knew it. His eyes closed. "When was she born?"

"What are you asking?"

"Because if she's the child of a Leaf nin, shouldn't he know?"

This was terrible, everything was out of control. He knew, he _knew _and I had no choice but to silence him. How did he find me? Did all of Konoha know where I was? Did Naruto? Did Sai or Kakashi? No, they'd have come together. This must have been handled by Tsunade. "Are you ANBU?"

"I won't tell you."

"Dispel the Genjutsu."

"Do it yourself."

I groaned in frustration, we were at a total stalemate. "Please don't do this." I gasped. "I'm not threatening Konoha. I won't reveal any secrets, I just want to live as a civilian."

"You should have gone through the Hokage." Was the answer, and I shook my head.

"I know, but I was young and stupid, and very... very scared." I fought back tears. "Please." The idea of being so vulnerable was sickening, and the idea that this man had spent the day with Hanako sickened me even more. "If you don't help me I'll have to kill you, and take Hanako somewhere else."

"Konoha would take you back."

I stilled, watching his expression with a frown. "No."

"You were Tsunade's apprentice-"

"You're lying. I'll be imprisoned, and Hanako will go to the orphanage."

"Or her father."

I growled, and leant in close so intimidate the ninja. "Don't fuck with me. Don't even try." I stayed close like that for a while, before leaning back and pressing a finger into his wrist, crushing veins. He gasped in pain. "Dispel the genjutsu. Now."

He sighed, and looked away. "I didn't want to do this." He stated, and the illusion fell away.

If I was horrified and scared before, it was nothing compared to this.

* * *

><p><strong>Well That's all for now, I really hope you guys enjoy this story, I'm pretty excited about it :D Who could the mystery Stalker be?<strong>


	3. Not a Sympathetic Man

_I growled, and leant in close so intimidate the ninja. "Don't fuck with me. Don't even try." I stayed close like that for a while, before leaning back and pressing a finger into his wrist, crushing veins. He gasped in pain. "Dispel the genjutsu. Now."_

_He sighed, and looked away. "I didn't want to do this." He stated, and the illusion fell away._

_If I was horrified and scared before, it was nothing compared to this._

* * *

><p>Mismatched eyes looked resolutely away from me as my grip slackened, leaning back, away from him. I scrambled off of the man laid on the bed, and pressed my back against the wall. The ninja sat up, head bowed as he leant heavily on his knees. "Tsunade didn't send me." He whispered. "I came by myself."<p>

"Why?" I whispered, sinking to the floor. "Couldn't you just leave me alone?" When he was silent, I clenched my fists. "How the hell did you find me?"

Kakashi met my eyes solemnly. "I needed to see you. Naruto's beside himself, and everyone else thinks you're dead."

"Dead?" I clasped my hands, distracted for a moment before forcing myself back to the present. "Stop it. You shouldn't be here, Kakashi-sensei." He winced, and I stood up, proudly. "I have a life here, and I'm no threat to Konoha."

"You can't be serious." He said flatly, standing up and approaching me. Even with my geta sandals, he was a good foot taller than me. Or maybe it was just his hair making it seem that way.

I cringed away as he loomed above me. "Sakura, I don't know what you're trying to prove, but this is nothing like you. You're not really satisfied living this way? Working two mediocre jobs and seeing the same people every day?"

I met his eyes. "It's better than dying and leaving my daughter alone."

He scoffed. "You're one of the least likely people to lose a fight, Sakura."

"My name..." I pushed him away. "... is Ayaka. My life here is happy, do you know I've not seen one person die in this town yet? The crime rate is almost nonexistent."

Kakashi sighed heavily. "You must be bored. You're better than this, Sakura."

"I'd rather live here safely than stay on a team with the man who raped me."

He flinched back, eyes filled with pain. "Sakura."

"If you don't need anything, Hatami-san, I'll be going."

"We need to talk."

I looked at him innocently, my face the perfect picture of a calm hostess dealing with a difficult customer. "There's nothing to talk about Hatami-san."

He growled, actually growled, and in my surprise I let him catch hold of me again. "You think you're okay, living this sort of life? What will you do in the future?"

I struggled, but Kakashi had the knack for making me feel like a child, small and helpless. When I stopped fighting, he stepped back, ever one for keeping his distance.

"What are your plans? You'll just marry the guy from the nursery? live out your days as a teacher's housewife? For fuck's sake!"

"It's none of your business!" I shrieked, meeting his eyes. "I had no choice. You have no idea..."

Kakashi shook his head. "No, I don't. I admit that. But your friends want to help you, Sakura. Can't you let them?"

I sighed sadly. "If they could, I'd have stayed." Kakashi let his head hang, not moving as I passed him and approached the door. But just as I reached for the doorhandles his hand closed around my wrist, gently, with his chest against my back.

"Visit me later." He whispered. "As your team leader, that's an order."

I nodded, and left.

* * *

><p>Playing with my food, I ignored Hanako's inquisitive stare from across the table. The girl dropped her chin onto the table and watched me as I pushed the cabbage around the plate.<p>

"Hanako, do you want to visit Taniyama later?"

"I want to play with you." She complained, eyes wide and pleading. "Mommy, you've been strange today." She sat up straight and fixed me with a steady gaze. I immediately felt guilty, and smiled gently, leaning forward.

"How'd you like to go in one of the onsen downstairs?" I grinned. "We can take down one of your toy boats as long as we clean it beforehand."

Grinning, Hanako sprang towards her room. "I'll wash it now!"

As soon as my daughter disappeared from the room, I moved to the window closest to Kakashi's room and picked up a torch from inside one of the cupboards. Leaning out of the window, I dropped an apple so that it hit his window to get his attention. Then, using standard Konoha code, I told him I couldn't make it, that Hanako and I would be in the onsen if he wanted to communicate, otherwise, wait until tomorrow.

Then, with a smirk, "That's an order."

Over the day, I'd found myself thinking about the way my life could have been, if I'd not left. Most of it was awful, and I knew I'd made the right choice... but.

But one thing might have been better.

I shook myself, it didn't do to think about these things. It only caused problems. The past was the past, and everyday I looked to my daughter and saw that.

"Mummy! I've done it!"

"Let me see." I smiled, turning to her as she presented the yellow boat for inspection. "Very good, now go and check that it's alright with Taniyama-san, I'll see you downstairs." she nodded and ran ahead, with all the energy and bound of any ninja I'd met. Once she was out of sight, I sighed. "Come out, Kakashi-sensei."

I heard the soft tap of his foot landing on the counter. "Yo. You can't meet me?"

"Hanako wants to spend some time together, and she comes first." I glared at him when it looked like he was about to protest. "She is. Hanako comes before your mission."

Kakashi slumped against the counter. "I told you this isn't a mission. You're their friend, Sakura. They want you back."

"Will he go to prison?" I asked. "Then I can't go back. I thought you'd be sympathetic."

He chuckled. "I've never been a sympathetic man, Sakura. You know that better than anyone." I met his eyes and scowled when all he did was that irritating little eye crease.

"You're not very good at sharing either. Kami knows what I ever saw in you." I sighed, not missing the widening of his eye at my admission. I raised an eyebrow. "You think I'd have done that with you if I didn't feel anything?"

"Well no, but..."

"Never mind." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'll talk to you later."

"Is it a mixed bath?" Kakashi asked mildly, and I froze.

"Uh..."

"Later." And he poofed away.

I cringed. "Shit..."

Nevertheless, I descended the stairs, resigned to the fate of sharing my onsen with Kakashi's old man genjutsu. But as I left the flat I shared with my daughter, I didn't notice the shadow in the corner move slightly, shifting in a way that made it look human.

No, I didn't notice.

If I had, then things would have gone very differently.

* * *

><p>Once in the onsen, I kept a keen eye on the door, dreading the moment when the fat, balding Hatami-san walked through the door.<p>

Hanako chattered happily away about nursery school and how much fun "Sensei" was. Ignoring the pang of guilt at the mention of Daisuke, I smiled absently and ruffled her hair affectionately.

"You don't bully poor Daisuke-sensei do you, Hanako?" I smirked, and at her guilty look I rolled my eyes. "Hanako-chan..."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone would be out here." I turned around, eyebrows raised at the man who had just entered. Hanako turned, and bowed her head. I was very, very thankful that the water was so clouded with minerals; it was one thing to share an onsen with old man Hatami, but quite another to be sharing with Kakashi.

"Are you a guest?" Hanako asked, looking up at him with interest. After all, it wasn't often you saw a young man with grey hair, a scar along one eye and a mask. Her childish interest was piqued, and she smiled fiendishly. "How'd you get that scar?"

"Which one?" He asked mildly. "And yes I'm a guest. I checked in late, I'm afraid."

"What room are you in?" Hanako demanded. Glancing at me, Kakashi approached the onsen. I shrugged, really not caring if he got in or not, since both Hanako and I generally wore swimsuits to the onsen anyway. A habit I'd gotten into when anticipating attack by enemy nin at every village.

"Seven."

"No way..." Hanako frowned. "That's Hatami's room."

Kakashi smiled, and got into the onsen. "I don't know anything about that, maybe he checked out."

Thinking this over, Hanako nodded. "He must have found what he was looking for."

I frowned, glancing at Kakashi with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean, Hanako?" I asked, smirking at Kakashi's wince.

"Hatami-san said he was looking for something very important. When I asked what he said he was looking for someone special that he's lost a long time ago." Hanako stared at the boat for a long moment. "I suppose even old people lose things sometimes."

The three of us were silent for a moment, until Kakashi cleared his throat. "What room are the two of you in?"

"We're not guests." Hanako said, sounding indignant. Her light pink hair falling into her face as she scowled. "We live upstairs, my Mum worked for Baa-chan Taniyama."

I exhaled softly, leaning back and propping up my elbows on the rocks behind me. "What's your name, guest-san?"

"Hatake Kakashi." He smiled at me, seemingly innocently. "I'm a ninja from Konoha here for a holiday."

Hanako squealed in excitement, and immediately set about pestering Kakashi for his life story. Meanwhile, my eyes narrowed irritably; what was he playing at? Revealing absolutely everything about himself to what was meant to be a stranger. Anyone could be listening, or was that the point? Was he here for something else?

Or was it a challenge to me?

"I'm Inoue Ayaka, and this is my daughter, Hanako. It's a pleasure to meet you, Hatake-san."

"Please, call me Kakashi."

"Then feel free to call me Ayaka." I smiled. "What brings you here? Aren't there resorts in Fire Country that are just as pleasant?"

Kakashi eyed me suspiciously. "Indeed, but I have a particular fondness for rural Suna. Besides, Suna's the safest place for a Konoha nin other than Konoha itself." He crinkled his eye cheerfully. "I'm here for a week, or thereabouts."

Hanako beamed at him. "Can you teach me to fight?"

"Hanako." I scolded. "Kakashi-se... san's here for a holiday."

"I don't mind." He said gently, "It'll be nice to have a student again." Something about his expression (what I could see of it) made me wonder what exactly he meant.

Even so, I shook my head. "Hanako, you shouldn't get involved with fighting." I met Kakashi's eyes. "It's nothing personal, I just don't want my daughter exposed to that sort of thing."

"It's perfectly alright. A lot of civilian mother's don't."

But it wasn't enough for Hanako. "Mummy! I want to be like a ninja!" She cried, slapping the toy boat against the water. I rolled my eyes and glared at Kakashi, communicating very clearly what I thought of the idea.

He simply smiled evenly back. Sneaky bastard.

"Hanako-chan, why don't you go back upstairs?" I said evenly. "Kakashi-san and I need to discuss this."

The little pink haired child glared at me, to which I raised a very mumsy eyebrow, with my best mumsy look, one of those that tell your child to do as you damn well say. At this, she pouted and reluctantly climbed out of the hot spring and padded away.

Kakashi turned back to me once she'd disappeared from sight but I held up a finger.

"Bed, Hanako. Now."

A little girl's groan of disappointment resounded through the air before I saw the little shadow slink off back upstairs. I settled back against the rock, eyes turned up towards my window watching for the face I expected to appear.

I almost missed Kakashi's chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing." He sighed cheerily. "I never thought I'd say it, but motherhood suits you." He spread himself out, reclining against the rocky edge with his arms stretched out either side of him. I rolled my eyes , but smiled. "I suppose five years can change a lot about a person."

"I suppose so." I sighed. "How is everybody? Changed much?" We both knew who I was talking about, and he sighed wearily.

"Sadly, some people will always have difficulty bettering themselves, and some people refuse to change no matter what."

I nodded slowly. "How are Naruto and Sai?"

"Sai's fine, ever one to adapt to his surroundings. Naruto misses you terribly, but he's strong, and he's living his life." He said solemnly. "He's dating Hinata, though he doesn't love her nearly so much as he loved you."

I looked away, blinking back tears. "I never deserved him."

"No, you probably didn't."

We sat in silence for a while, absorbing each others words. Finally, I shook myself from my daze, and twisted my hair childishly. "How about you, Kakashi-sensei?" I smirked. "Have you changed much?"

He chuckled again. "Alas... Some men are too old and set in their ways to change so easily." He tapped his nose tauntingly. "It seems you're the one who has grown the most Sakura-chan. How nice that my cute little students are growing so well."

I laughed gently. "You really do never change, Kakashi." I sighed wistfully. "But we'd probably better drop the student/sensei thing."

Kakashi nodded sagely. "I suppose so, it'd be strange if a teacher slept with his student."

"Well." I supplied. "I was nineteen, you hadn't been my real teacher in years."

"You wound me, Sakura."

I shrugged. "You never knew much about healing. I had to move on." We laughed again, and I found myself relaxing; it was nice to be able to talk like this, about old times. But the pang of loss I'd kept subdued for five years stung anew.

Yet I didn't really care.

"Sakura, I have to know..." He sounded serious, and I sighed, leaning forwards and gently tugging his mask down, studying his eyes carefully.

"Kakashi, please don't ask." I said softly. "You probably know the answer already."

He frowned. "I didn't think it would happen like this." Considerably more serious, he gripped my shoulders tightly. "I wish I'd have known..."

"What would you have done?" I sighed. "Nobody could have helped me at that time. Besides..." I stroked his cheek with a sad smile. "Nobody knew I was pregnant."

"That's why the dog's couldn't track you." He realized. "Your scent changed during pregnancy, not even Pakkun could have traced you." He stroked my back gently, tenderly. "But I still wish I'd known you were carrying my child."

* * *

><p><strong>Well there you have it, no prizes to who guessed the stalker would be Kaka-sensei because... well it's a kakasaku story! Haha well things are moving forward swiftly, and who can guess who the mysterious shadow in Sakura's apartment is? (This one's harder)<strong>

**Review please!**


	4. Not Here

**Hey, I had some trouble with uploading the last chapter so if you've not read it yet it's there now!**

* * *

><p>"<em>What would you have done?" I sighed. "Nobody could have helped me at that time. Besides..." I stroked his cheek with a sad smile. "Nobody knew I was pregnant."<em>

"_That's why the dog's couldn't track you." He realized. "Your scent changed during pregnancy, not even Pakkun could have traced you." He stroked my back gently, tenderly. "But I still wish I'd known you were carrying my child." _

* * *

><p>We sat together for a long while, just thinking and holding each other. My mind skipped over the past five years and just vaguely wondered how they might have been different with Kakashi on my side.<p>

And he would have been on my side; he was a man of honour and as such I, as the mother of his unborn child, would have been his priority. He might have run away with me, as stupid as it sounded... or he might have...

"She's a lot like you, Kakashi." I voiced, if only to break out of my own thoughts. "She has a way of twisting people to do what she wants, and she reads a lot."

"My daughter reads porn?"

"Don't be stupid." I frowned, elbowing him in the side. "She's freakishly smart, Daisuke has to give her work from schools to keep her from going bored."

"Ah, yes..." Kakashi grumbled. "Daisuke."

There wasn't much I could say to that, so I kept quiet, and let him hug me closer. It felt good, after so long, to be able to feel the familiar arms of a ninja around me in a way that was meant to comfort.

When I'd been young, the same feeling had made me want to pull away. Growing up with civilian parents comfort had always been a soft, fleshy mother, and a beer-bellied father with a few extra pounds, all softness and warmth wrapping around me like a duvet.

It hadn't been until my parents had died within months of each other and Tsunade had pulled me close into an uncharacteristic cuddle that I'd first felt comfort from corded arms and a hard stomach. Bodies I'd always considered unyielding and hard become pillars of strength for me to cling to.

And it was the same with Kakashi. He'd never felt much of a father figure to me- he was too hard and distant... cold.

Funnily enough he was everything I was attracted to in a lover.

Masochist= me.

"She's a handful, then." He mused. "It's probably long overdue, but..."

I kissed him.

"Thanks." I smiled, having shut him up. "But you have Konoha to think about."

"I could leave." He breathed, eyeing me carefully. It didn't come out a desperate plea or anything; Kakashi never pleaded, he simply argued. As usual, he was treating this like a mission, trying to figure out the best thing to do.

I sat back, and narrowed my eyes at him critically. "Don't be an idiot."

"What do you think the village needs more- a master healer or a psychopath?" He asked, leaning back away from me, keeping his body language and expression totally neutral.

"Don't start that again."

"Hanako up there is the child of two of the best ninjas Konoha ever produced. Two apprentices of two Hokages. Who would Tsunade prioritize?"

I looked away with a glare. "But who would the council prioritize?" I shook my head. "I'm not going to go back."

"It's different now though. There's Hanako, and taking into account her lineage..."

"Hanako." I glared at him. "Will never be a ninja."

He ran a hand through his slightly damp hair. "Then she'll never be challenged for her entire life. She'll marry a merchant and spend her life as a mother and a housekeeper."

"Like I am?"

His eyes slid to meet mine. "I still don't understand why you're doing it. What are you planning?" I crossed my arms defiantly as he glanced around the onsen lazily. "You're going to work here til you're too old or until you inherit the place? Or will you marry the schoolteacher and spend your life as a baby-maker to a frankly rather average man."

"Daisuke is a good man, and Taniyama-san is one of the kindest women I know." I snapped. "To become family to either of them would be an honour."

"And Hanako?"

"Is already a granddaughter to Taniyama-san, and Daisuke cares for her a lot."

At this, Kakashi winced. "Do you even realize what I'm trying to say?"

"No." I snapped. "Because you're always so cryptic! Why should I give up this life? It's nice, and simple, and after four years running away from everybody it's what Hanako needs!"

"You're telling me that I'm supposed to live the rest of my life knowing that my daughter is being raised by another man? I'm supposed to just accept it?"

"Yes." I growled. "I am."

"And that my lover is married to another man."

"I haven't been your lover in five years Kakashi." I blinked. "And after that incident..."

"It was hardly your fault, Sakura." He sighed. "Don't be stupid. I didn't think any less of you for it, and neither would the others." He put an affectionate hand on my knee, squeezing gently. I sighed heavily and leaned my head back against the rocky edge of the onsen.

I looked up at the sky for a long time, in silence, feeling his eyes on my face as his hand left my knee.

"It's beautiful here. We never really did the tourist stuff in Suna before."

"Hn." He looked skywards. "Can I at least come back?"

I put a hand to my forehead with a grimace. "You wouldn't be able to visit without arousing any suspicion would you?"

"I'm the copy ninja." He raised an eyebrow and smirked. I rolled my eyes with a reluctant grin lowering my gaze to meet his.

"That's a... no?"

He chuckled mildly and reached out an arm, fingers outstretched to brush my cheek. The hairs on the back of my neck rose and a shiver ran down my spine. After five years of not seeing him, it didn't really feel like we'd parted. Not now, not here alone in an onsen resort.

"Come here." He insisted, tugging on my chin, pulling it forwards. I laughed and leaned forwards, wrapping myself around him. A glance up, however, made me start.

"Hanako's watching." I whispered and, slipping back into habits forged whenever around Naruto or Sai, Kakashi's head moved to one side and I simply hugged him close. The shadow disappeared from the window and I breathed out a long sigh.

Kakashi however, tensed even as my lips brushed his.

"What's wrong?"

"That wasn't Hanako..." He breathed, and I stilled for a second, two instincts fighting each other.

The ninja in me was waiting for Kakashi's plan, his command.

The mother in me wanted to get to my daughter, right now.

And I'd maybe been out of action for too long, or maybe my maternal instinct was just too overwhelming, but either way I sprang from Kakashi's arms before he realized what I was doing.

"Sakura!" He hissed, but I had already leapt up and smashed through the window of my apartment.

"Hanako?" I called, eyes wide and searching in the dark kitchenette. Upon discerning that the child was in fact _not here _I rushed to her room. "Hanako!" I called, more urgently.

Not in her room.

Mine?

"HANAKO!" I was screaming now.

Not here. Not here. _She's not here._

I remembered the faces of very woman I'd seen in my life who had lost a child. I had seen a lot. They all had that frantic expression, none of them could keep still, and they looked as though they were completely and utterly lost.

I couldn't register the fact that Kakashi had appeared behind me and had sent his ninken pack in search of Hanako. I couldn't comprehend that this was real. It couldn't be real.

Not real.

Not real.

She's not here.

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes to the sight of his masked face above mine. It took a while for me to realize that I was in my bed, and that he was sat by my pillow, chin propped in his hands as he stared lazily at the wall.<p>

Then I took in the fact that he was dressed in his Jounin uniform and for a moment it was five years ago, when things were so devastatingly simple...

Because as ninja we were tools; we did what we did and then came home and forgot about it.

But when he spotted me, he sat a little straighter, just waiting for my head to catch up with me. And when it did, when the memory of last night came back, I collapsed.

"Sakura?" I buried my face in my hands and felt my heart break. "Sakura, we need to get moving."

A high keening, wailing sound filled the room, and if it wasn't for the fact that it paused when I had to breathe, I wouldn't have recognised it as my own. Kakashi leaned back, and I felt him touch my arm briefly, awkwardly.

"Sakura... Sometimes the path of a Shinobi is difficult, and we lose those we hold dear..."

"I am not..." I growled, sitting up and bracing myself against the edge of the bed. "... a fucking Shinobi."

He blinked, then his eyebrows furrowed and Kakashi-sensei was back in action. "Sakura."

"No." I bit out. "What are you trying to say? That a Shinobi took my daughter?" My fists clenched and I stood up, furious. "No Shinobi has caught me in five years, no one in the Shinobi world knows I'm here." He looked away and realization forced me to sit back down, it left my knees so weak. "Except for you."

"My dogs couldn't find her."

"You BASTARD!" I screamed, launching myself at him so that he toppled backwards on his wooden chair, back against the floor with me straddling him, crying hysterically. "You LED THEM to me! Was this a trap? Does Konoha want my child so badly that if I won't give her up willingly they'll take her from me?"

"Stop saying that." He said calmly, grabbing my wrists to keep me at a distance. "You keep saying 'Konoha' this and 'Konoha' that, as though the village is an entity that can only be regarded as an enemy. As though the very name of it is a bad word." He pushed me back a little, sitting up himself so that his legs were either side of the fallen chair that I was now leaning against. "You sound like a rogue nin."

"Aren't I?" I leaned forwards menacingly. "If Konoha took her... I will stop at nothing to get her back."

"Think about what you're saying."

"You don't understand! You didn't even know you had a child!" I cried. "Hanako is the reason I'm alive! I'd have given up so long ago if it wasn't for her, and... and..." I shook my head. "To you, she's your flesh and blood. To me she's everything."

He sighed. "You're right. To me she's... less than you."

I narrowed my eyes. Was that meant to be a sort of confession?

"My point is." He cleared his throat and released me, standing up to assume his cool indifference. "She is everything to you, and that is enough to get me involved." He smiled gently and I felt a rush of gratitude towards my former sensei. Kakashi as a lover was a surprisingly jealous man, underneath his affected distance. Kakashi as a sensei fought hard for his teammates, and would defend their precious things above even his own.

"Thank you." I whispered, and he rubbed my hair in that deliberately irritating way that, not for the first time, was a source of more comfort than he understood, or intended.

For the first time in five years, I believed that everything would be alright.

"What's the plan, Kakashi-sempai?" I asked with a small smile, and his eyes creased in an attempt at cheerfulness.

"Well as it happens, Sakura-chan. I do have one idea..."

* * *

><p>That night I sat in silence as Kakashi radioed Konoha. My heart was hammering in my throat as I sat in a Suna nin uniform ("Don't ask." I'd told Kakashi when he'd seen it) waiting with bated breath for Kakashi to give my secret away.<p>

"Konoha. Konoha come in, White Crow speaking." He muttered as I scanned the area for any eavesdroppers. "I have a situation here. Over."

"... Kakashi?" I tried not to recognize the voice. "Is that you?"

"Yes." Kakashi sighed, eyes flickering to meet mine. "I was trying to keep my identity secret, Ino."

Ino's laugh was tinny through the receiver. "Sorry, sorry _White Crow _what's the problem?"

"I wanted to know if there are any rogue nin reported near Suna."

Ino was silent for a short while, and I avoided Kakashi's gaze as he sat a little straighter. "Why?"

"I have a situation." He explained. "There's a missing child involved and the mother's concerned that a ninja may be responsible."

"What?" Ino asked mildly, and I could almost picture her rolling her eyes. "Children go missing all the time Kakashi, why would a ninja be responsible?"

"I was there at the time and didn't notice the child being taken." He sighed. "And the culprit left no evidence."

"Kakashi are you asking for back-up? There's a few spare teams around."

"No." He said quickly, and I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "This is a small resort town it would draw too much notice."

"I have one or two stragglers who aren't in a full team, I could send Shika? Or one of the ANBU... are you asking for this to be a formal mission?"

"I don't want any help yet, I'm fine on my own and it's a favour to the mother. Can you tell me if there's been any suspected rogues nearby?"

"A favour? Kakashi is this one of your flings?" Kakashi winced and I stifled a grin. "I only have one sighting reported near Suna, and that was meant to be... but we know that was a mistake." Ino's voice sounded harsher now, and I fought the urge to snap at her for being so vague and annoying. "Sorry Kakashi no intel here. Ask Gaara?"

"That was my next port of call." Kakashi sighed heavily. "Thank you anyway Ino."

"Kakashi, keep an eye out okay? We still don't know where Missing nin number one is."

Kakashi gave me one of those unreadable stares that I pretended not to notice, too busy playing with my Suna plate on my hip. "I know. Later Ino."

"Bye Kakashi."

When the radio fell silent, I reached over to switch it off completely as an act of precaution. Kakashi caught my hand. "Don't you trust me yet?"

"You yes, her no." I snapped, and flicked the dial. "Who's Missing nin one?"

"I'm not telling you Konoha's secrets any more than I'm telling them yours." He sighed wearily. "I'll call in on Gaara tomorrow. You could even accompany me in that get-up." He laughed lightly, but forcibly, and I frowned.

"I'd have to dye my hair again." I mused, and fingered the pink strands I'd only just recovered. "But at least then I can do some recon in town while you're talking to Gaara."

"My thoughts exactly." Kakashi approved, and he smiled lazily. "I'll miss your hair though. I've not seen you with a different colour before."

I fiddled with my headband some more. "Um. Well actually you have. You just didn't recognize me." I smiled weakly and stood up. "I'll meet you by the Kazekage tower in three days at noon. It'll be safer if we travel seperately."

Eyes narrowed and calculating, he nodded once and vanished. Then I was left alone in the forest, mind on one task.

In the flickering golden glow cast by the lone candle, overturned on it's fireproof plate I surveyed my apartment for the last time.

It looked like there'd been a fight, and I'd made enough noise that Taniyama would have woken, but thought little of it. There was just one more thing to be done.

Reaching out my arm I gritted my teeth and dug the kunai in deep, grunting only slightly as I felt muscle tear. Flinging my arm pout I made sure the walls got a good splatter before falling to the floor and dragging myself towards the door, leaving a long smudge behind me. I then stood up and climbed out of the broken window, sitting on top of the roof as I summoned up my healing chakra to close my wound.

Tomorrow, I knew, Taniyama would come up to check on myself and Hanako, but find only evidence of a struggle, perhaps a murder. She would then call the police who after a thorough search, would find nothing and be able only to send out a warning and some posters.

Posters! I frowned. This would be the difficult part. I had no photographs of myself kept in the flat, but Taniyama-san had a staff photo downstairs.

It would be too obvious to take the photo with me, and also if I just damaged the picture of myself.

I crept into the hallway and stared at it with a frown. It showed myself stood with the other staff workers outside the onsen in full uniform, the only thing I could do to change it would to be to lighten the photo to make it look bleached by the sun. That at least would hide what you could see of my hair.

People might not fall for it, but it was the best I could do. So I summoned a little bit of chakra to my hand and pressed it against the glass, keeping an ear out for anyone who might find me.

Not that I looked like the 'me' they knew anymore.

I didn't even feel the same. I wasn't Ayaka anymore, the mother who did right by her child and had charmed an old woman into letting her stay, and the town's most eligible bachelor into asking her out...

I was Sakura Haruno again. The slow process that had started when Kakashi arrived had come to fruition. My hair might be dark red, my eyes might be dark brown, but I felt more like the prominent medic nin of my past than I had ever since leaving Konoha behind.

Whoever had taken my child had made a very, very big mistake.


	5. The Black Market

_I wasn't Ayaka anymore, the mother who did right by her child and had charmed an old woman into letting her stay, and the town's most eligible bachelor into asking her out..._

_I was Sakura Haruno again. The slow process that had started when Kakashi arrived had come to fruition. My hair might be dark red, my eyes might be dark brown, but I felt more like the prominent medic nin of my past than I had ever since leaving Konoha behind._

_Whoever had taken my child had made a very, very big mistake._

* * *

><p>Kakashi didn't like setting up camp on his own. It had been a long time (ten years?) since he'd been given his team, and since then setting up camp without them had seemed wrong.<p>

Before he'd gotten his students of course, he'd been an arrogant bastard who only ever worked alone anyway, but since then he'd changed.

He'd... improved.

He'd regressed a little when Sasuke left, but with the return of Naruto and Sakura's graduation from Tsunade's tutelage he'd clawed his way back.

He had changed a little again when Sakura left too. The way she'd left, and the events leading up to that were so devastating to everyone in the village, and in particular Team Kakashi. Once again, a teammate had forced the group to be torn apart and the fact that it had been _her _was almost too much to handle. For any of them.

But five years is a long time, and perhaps enduring the same ordeal years before made it easier to recover. No less painful, but easier to recover from.

He had caved to Naruto's demands many times, feeding the part of himself that longed for it to be a mistake. He and Naruto had led a search party not unlike the one Sasuke had been treated to when he first defected.

But Sakura couldn't be tracked down. They'd followed her for a week before Kiba had grown confused, saying that it wasn't Sakura that they were following anymore. They tried to retrace their steps, but her scent had faded long ago.

"Maybe it was a decoy." Kiba had mused. "Maybe she had this planned for a long time." At this Kakashi had tensed in fury, but vented only by allowing Naruto to land a punch before restraining him.

Oh yes, Kakashi was so passive aggressive that even his outbursts avoided primary confrontation.

One of the many things that had made he and Sakura such an awkward couple.

And then every mission had been a search. Every time team Kakashi left the village they were on the lookout for her, even if they had a different task officially, it was an unspoken rule that they asked if she'd been seen.

And by asked he meant that they'd stood in the street asking every passer by they came across.

"Pakkun." He said softly, and the dog turned to look at him. "Could I have known?"

The little dog snorted and padded over to where Kakashi lay on his back, watching the stars visible only in the desert. "You couldn't have. But I might have noticed if I'd been looking."

"You were busy."

"And so were you." Pakkun said gruffly, sitting on top of Kakashi's chest. "Go to sleep, I'll keep watch."

Idly, Kakashi scratched the back of Pakkun's ear, earning an approving wag of the dog's tail before looking to one side, where a small black book was propped open against his pack.

Missing nin #1. Haruno Sakura.

Origin- Konoha.

Ranked- Extremely Dangerous.

* * *

><p>Suna had changed greatly over the years since the war, Gaara had risen to the occasion and all but completely torn apart the Suna advisory council. Nobody really minded, Gaara's authority in the Shinobi world was unquestioned, and his status as the former leader of the united army caused more than a few former enemies to send a nod of recognition his way.<p>

Hatake Kakashi was allowed inside the hidden village without any reason needed. His own reputation had soared higher than ever before and since he was currently next in line to become Hokage...

He nodded mildly towards the two chunin at the front desk, who simply waved back amicably. His face, however hidden it was, was a familiar sight in Suna.

More so because he frequently visited to check up on missing nin sightings.

His first port of call would be Gaara's office, as normal. He had to follow every precaution he would normally take, asking about illegal activity in the area as always, and offering to take some of the intelligence missions.

As always.

But it wasn't like the countless times he'd come here before. This time he felt heavier, if possible; he always felt sick when he asked if there was any news, in case it was the worst news, but this time it was worse because he knew she was fine but it felt like so much more was at stake now.

Which frankly surprised him. More at stake? He had the oppurtunity to reunite his team, his nakama, and yet he wouldn't.

It would make Naruto so happy to have her back, and Sai would be delighted in his own way. Ino would cry, and Tsunade would punch Sakura before hugging her tightly.

And that bastard would get what he deserved, for even if he was a fellow Konoha ninja Kakashi would never be able to face him again without wanting to rip his throat out. For making Sakura leave, for forcing her to raise a child alone without her friends and family, for making her unable to return.

Because he knew she couldn't. Not really.

And he would respect that.

But when he entered Gaara's office, it didn't stop him from wanting to demand an urgent message be sent to Konoha one bit. When Gaara's impossibly light, piercing eyes were fixed on him he had to battle down the deeply ingrained sense of loyalty to his village so that he could assume his normal lazy demeanour and stare back at the Kazekage dispassionately.

"Any news?"

Gaara picked up a bundle of papers and pressed it carefully to the desk between them, eyes not moving from Kakashi. "Here are the missing nin reports we've received since your last visit. We've checked all of them out already of course but..."

Kakashi picked up the bundle and tucked it into his vest. "Thank you, but I'd like to double-check."

"That's what I thought." Gaara smiled tightly and turned to look out of his window. "Is this another flying visit or are you here to see someone?"

"I'm seeing someone." Kakashi nodded, and smiled cheerily, knowing Gaara wouldn't ask who. This had all become a practiced routine over the years, it was easy. Kakashi found himself talking to Gaara as he normally did, the initial consternation quelled for now. They discussed the progress of both villages, and Gaara asked after Naruto, prompting Kakashi in turn to ask after the Kazekage's siblings.

And for the next few days, Kakashi would have to ask his contacts not about a pink haired young woman, but about a child.

"Maybe I'm looking for the wrong thing." He sighed, flicking through the papers. Gaara eyed him silently, analyzing him.

"Oh?"

"Well we've investigated the idea that she'll have dyed her hair. But what if she's carrying off a more advanced henge or genjutsu?" Kakashi mused aloud, sitting down across from Gaara and spreading his legs in front of him.

Gaara caught on quick. "Like changing her age? Or gender? Do you think she's capable?"

Kakashi sighed. "Honestly, I don't know. I've recently been revisiting what happened at the start and I'm still confused about how my dogs couldn't track her scent. Yes, she may have sent out a decoy, but Pakkun has the greatest nose I've seen. If the scent split, he'd have detected both."

"So you're saying something happened to change her scent entirely?"

Kakashi paused. He wanted her back in Konoha, but to Sakura this search for her daughter was more important. "Never mind. It's just the ramblings of a regretful old man."

"Yes." Gaara nodded slowly. "I suppose considering the nature of your relationship with her prior to her _defection_..." Kakashi flinched. "... you must wonder if it was you that prompted her to leave. Seeing as your previously _secret _activities were so suddenly brought to light in front of the entire village."

"I have no doubt that I played a part." Kakashi said quietly, almost to himself, and when Gaara turned his empty gaze on him he simply smiled. "But I don't think so highly of myself to assume I was the sole reason." They sat in silence for a while, and after a minute, Kakashi stood up. "Well, I'd best be off. Got to see a man about a dog and all that."

"Kakashi."

The silver haired man paused, hand on the door handle and back to the Kage as he waited for the younger man to speak.

"I won't ask you what you found." Gaara said at length. "But be careful about how you deal with it. Decide exactly what you're going to do before making a move."

Kakashi nodded tightly.

"But I will ask..." Gaara leaned forwards; Kakashi heard the creaking of his chair and desk. "... if you now _know_ why she left."

Kakashi was silent for a long time before turning so that the redhead was at the edge of his vision. "I do."

"Is she well?"

"Are you asking for yourself or for Naruto?" Kakashi glared at the young man. "Trust that I won't betray Konoha. Trust that... She will be brought before Konoha to account for what she has done."

With that he left, feeling very much that he had given too much away.

Gaara sat back in his chair and watched the closed door seriously. "I wonder if that's for the best."

* * *

><p>The marketplace in Sunagakure shimmered with visible heat as the sun beat down heavily on Kakashi's clothed back. The villagers around him clamoured over goods and shouted to each other amidst the squawking of chickens in their reed cages and other livestock tethered to their stalls.<p>

The pressing bodies all around almost made Kakashi rethink his route through the main square, but he pushed onwards, forcing the crowd of bodies in light silks to part as he manoeuvred past the stalls selling meat and bread.

When he reached the far corner where wooden shacks were decorated with expensive silks and high price tags, he waved to a young woman wandering with a basket of lucky charms to sell.

"Masako."

She was a young girl of about 15 with closely cropped midnight hair and light violet eyes, and she was Kakashi's informant.

"Kakashi." She acknowledged, eyeing his traditional Suna robes with a critical eye. "Still carting that mask around?"

"Still pretending to sell Good Luck charms?"

"Touche." She smiled. The girl wore a decorative kimono, though Kakashi had no idea how she could stand this weather in so many layers, even the other natives wore light, single layers in this weather. As she led him away from the busy market square she said "So hows things at home?"

Kakashi shot her an amused glance. "You can't expect me to tell an employed informant such things?"

"You think I'm a double agent?"

"I think you know how to twist everything to benefit yourself. It's really very admirable." He chuckled and she smiled knowingly.

"That means things are complicated, and difficult."

He sighed. "Is this information going to get circulated now?" As they ducked into a beaded doorway and began to descend a long narrow staircase he continued mournfully. "I thought we were friends."

"We are." She assured him smoothly. "You have my money?"

He handed her a bag of Suna coins as the ground levelled out, and frowned at the heavy rug covering the doorway ahead so that only a sliver of light could be made out.

The atmosphere down here was heavy and oppressive, and it wasn't just the fact that they were now several feet underground.

Masako pushed the heavy rug out of the way and whispered something to the large man just inside so that he stepped aside to let them through. Inside the doorway was a huge underground cavern filled with market stalls.

It was a similar set up to the upper market in the village square, except that this one was larger, and if you paid attention to the content of the stalls you'd be an accomplice to some crime or another.

As such, Kakashi kept his eye firmly fixed ahead, ignoring the ninja headbands for sale and illegal weaponry. Not to say that it was simply ninja merchandise being sold, exquisite imported materials were being sold at a few stalls, and fine antiques adorned many others. Rare artefacts and glittering diamonds were displayed proudly, and there were even livestock stalls.

Except those stalls were selling people instead of cows and sheep.

Here, Kakashi kept an eye out for a splash of pink amidst the crowd, resolving to actually have a look around later. As he slouched past another table he cringed. It had become close to second nature, over the years, to lead this second life in the criminal underground of the world, but actually accomplishing his original goal... finding his former student had sent him right back to who he'd been five years ago, and his stomach churned all over again as the good man buried inside him discovered this horrible place afresh.

Masako sent him a curious stare as they reached a small bar carved into the rock of the cave. This was the place where they always did business, as everyone here was up to something illegal, and it served everyone's best interests to ignore everyone else.

"It's been a few years since you had that expression on your face." Masako smirked. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." Kakashi said shortly as they sat down in one of the booths. "Can't an old man's conscience get the better of him every now and then?"

Masako inspected her nails lazily. "The last time that happened was when you bought me, wasn't it?" she eyed him critically. "Planning on rescuing any more brats from the market?"

"The thought had crossed my mind."

"Well then, perhaps I've been made redundant." She snapped. "I was warned my owner might cast me aside when I got too old but I never expected you to..."

Kakashi sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Masako, you are without a doubt one of the best informants I've met. Stop getting paranoid."

She shifted in her seat. "I got jealous." She pouted childishly. "I'm used to being an only child. No one should have to start sharing their father at fifteen."

It was a running joke of sorts, calling them father and daughter, but Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek at the reminder. Kakashi had looked after this girl for four years, providing for her much as a father would, and he'd trained her to be something very much like a ninja. As a result, she could infiltrate any organization she chose, and the appearance of stability she presented to the other criminals as a girl who had never belonged to a village and had grown up as part of the Black Market was something no true ninja could replicate.

She was as close to a daughter as he'd expected to have.

But, Kakashi mused, all the while, he'd had a daughter. One he didn't know about.

He thought back to the girl who'd asked to be a ninja. He hadn't really seen much of himself in her, he hadn't even thought she'd be his. But Sakura had confirmed it, and he trusted her judgement despite... well.

"Aren't you going to ask?" Masako suggested, leaning forward across the table. "I might have seen something."

"Have you?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Money?"

He sighed, handing her her 'allowance' in a leather purse. "Have you?"

"No." She smiled sweetly. "I'm sorry." Though the cheerful lilt in her voice told him otherwise as she pocketed the purse after checking its contents. Kakashi sat back, a little relieved, when Masako's expression froze. "Although..."

"Yes?" He tensed.

"Pink hair is rare, it's true, but not unheard of." She watched him seriously. "I want you to understand this, Kakashi."

He straightened. "I know, believe me. I've followed enough false leads to know not every pink haired young woman is her."

Masako narrowed her eyes. "There's been a sighting of a pink haired child travelling with a ninja." She looked away. "I know there's probably no connection but your girl was a ninja right? It's possible she has a relative or something..."

"Where?" Kakashi hissed. "How did you hear about it?"

"They came across one of my Uncles outside of Suna recently, apparently the ninja was carrying the child asleep in her arms."

"A little girl?" A kunoichi?

"No. A boy." She frowned at him. "Are you interested?"

He sighed heavily. "I'm afraid that doesn't sound like who I'm looking for." She nodded as though expecting that answer and sighed. Something was troubling her though, he kept seeing her eyes flicker to the side, as they did when she was trying to hide something from him.

But.

He didn't really have the time to placate a fifteen year old girl going through puberty. Masako could look after herself for a while, he needed to find a stolen child.

And rendezvous with a runaway.

* * *

><p><strong>Ooh a Kakashi-dentric chapter! I know he's being quite cold about Hanako, but I prefer writing Kakashi as a flowed man. He doesn't really care about the fact he has a daughter, because it's not hit him yet, and he's only really doing it to placate Sakura, who he's been obsessed with finding for years.<strong>

**Back to Sakura's POV next chapter, please review!  
><strong>


	6. Priorities

**Sorry about the delay, had my second year of university to finish so took a month off! Here's an extra long chapter as a present for being so patient with me! :)**

* * *

><p><em>He didn't really have the time to placate a fifteen year old girl going through puberty. Masako could look after herself for a while, he needed to find a stolen child.<em>

_And rendezvous with a runaway._

* * *

><p>The first thing on my agenda was to find a place to stay.<p>

Having bartered a ride on a passing merchant's wagon, I'd ingratiated myself to a jewellery seller on his way to Suna. Tamahome was everything I could ask for in an alibi; trusting and loyal. After rescuing me from the less than totally wholesome intentions of one of his fellow travellers he'd taken me into his care, assuming I was a young innocent on my way to a better future in Suna.

I fingered my red hair thoughtfully as I watched his back, walking two steps ahead of me, but checking over his shoulder every now and then with a smile. He'd taken on all of the luggage- both his and mine, and trusted me with one box filled with gold and diamonds.

The fool. If I was anyone else I'd have been able to take off with this boy's livelihood.

As it was, I followed behind him quietly, keeping an eye out for anyone who might recognize me. Tamahome attracted enough attention as it was, dressed in his exotic, foreign robes.

He glanced back at me again. "You know you don't need to stay so far behind me."

I brought an embarrassed smile to my face and ducked my head in feigned shyness. "I don't really know..." I glanced down, uncertain. He seemed kind enough, and unassuming but was he trustworthy enough to stay with for any amount of time? Though the benefits were not to be sniffed at; a lone traveller was much more suspicious than a couple selling jewellery.

The hand on my shoulder brought me to a stop, and I glanced up into achingly honest eyes. If they were a little bluer, and if the hair was a little blonder... "You don't need to worry. I'm not the sort of man who'll try his luck with a vulnerable girl." Oh if only he knew just how vulnerable I was. "I'll book us seperate rooms, and you can work with me while I'm in Suna, until you find something better. Alright?"

I forced myself to ignore the pang of guilt as I nodded. What the hell was wrong with me? I'd done more underhanded things before while on the run, and donned much more dubious personas than a lost girl taking advantage of a traveller's kindness.

But did he really have to be so nice? He was far too... Naruto-esque for comfort, this young man with his long dark ponytail (and frankly, a much better wardrobe) was reminding me too much of the friend I'd left behind.

And only a week ago he'd not have been worth a second glance. I'd have had no qualms about taking advantage of his kindness.

It was that damned Kakashi's fault. I'd become everything I needed to be, and he'd ripped it apart just by being there.

Which wasn't to say I'd be letting the guilt get to me. I had much more important things to worry about than whether I was being a good person right now. And Tamahome was the logical first place to start.

"Thank you." I smiled up at him, and he responded in kind. It was really a shame, actually. He was obviously a good man, and he was going to be on the wrong end of all my kunoichi skills tonight.

I fingered the needle in my sleeve absent mindedly, and lamented my finding of this man. All it had taken was a simple Genjutsu and he'd taken me under his wing. I mean really, who did he think he was?

"I'm sorry." I whispered, and he paused, looking down at me curiously. "I... I just need to sit down for a moment."

"Of course." He said quickly. "Suna can be overbearing if you're not used to the heat... You said you were from Rain country, right? It's very different here." He led me to a small cafe, and brought out his purse, checking the contents. "Stay here, I'll go and get you a drink." He sat me down beneath a large parasol, and patted my shoulder before heading inside.

Biting my lip, I glared at nothing. What was I doing? These hesitations were only holding me back. I might as well take advantage of his willingness to co operate to procure a room for the night, but here I was worrying about his _feelings _and how this would _affect him._

Had the past five years really changed nothing? What about the years before them? I'd been on countless espionage and infiltration missions, targeting people much more vulnerable than Tamahome.

Why did I feel the need to protect every innocent person I came across?

"Here. I got you some iced tea."

"Thank you." I said, smiling up at the man in front of me, and almost spilling my drink in surprise. "Ka... Tamahome, who is your friend?"

Tamahome grinned at the man beside him. "This is Kankuro. He helped me a while ago when my village ran into some trouble and we've kept up a correspondence since. He negotiated my pass to get into Suna to work. I saw him in the cafe, mentioned you and he offered to help."

"How kind." I smiled, taking care to emphasize my feigned Rain country accent. "Thank you, Kankuro-san."

"It's a pleasure, Miss...?" He looked to Tamahome expectantly, but Tamahome drew a blank, having not thought to ask me my name before offering his help.

"Miaka." I interjected. "Just Miaka is fine."

"Well then Miaka, why don't we get you out of this heat? There are some rooms in the Kazekage complex that should suit you both just fine." Kankuro offered, and I had to grip my skirt tightly to avoid slapping a hand to my forehead in dismay. What on earth was going on? Suna was renowned for it's hostility towards foreigners, it's careful secrecy.

Here, Kankuro was inviting a total stranger to stay in the Kazekage complex?

"It's very kind, but I'd hate to be a burden..."

"I'd have to agree, Kankuro." Tamahome smiled nervously. "We're hardly of the right social status or background to deserve such treatment..."

Speak for yourself, I thought sulkily, but kept my mouth closed.

"No, not at all." Kankuro smiled. "It's not as though you can access any sensitive information from those rooms, and Gaara is trying to show that Suna has changed, one of his new ideas is to allow tourists into the Kazekage complex."

It wasn't as though I could refuse, and it seemed that my disguise was good enough to fool Kankuro. Besides, who could I possibly run into in those rooms?

"We do have one or two other guests in the building." Kankuro noted, as we passed by a guard and a gate into the Suna Kazekage gardens. "They shouldn't bother you really. One is a ninja from Konoha, and there is a Mother and son from Grass country. Mealtimes are together, but you can opt to eat out."

"It's very much like an inn." Tamahome commented, as he looked at the flat roofed, one storey building, taking up three sides of the quadrangle water garden we had entered. Around the square, man-made lake a gravel path formed a large square border, with the lodge-like suites around it. At the far end, a larger, more decorative building stood with a sign reading "Reception". Around the lake, several small islands with benches were connected to each other and the surrounding path by small wooden bridges.

"The suites all consist of a living room, bedroom and bathroom." Kankuro explained. "They are small terraced houses with only one entrance, the front doors that lead out here." A ninja's worst nightmare, I thought. "They used to house only visiting dignitaries, but we now let pretty much anyone stay here. Security's tight enough that anyone up to no good can't really escape the notice of the night watchmen."

I glanced at Kankuro quickly, was that aimed at me? But it seemed he was simply entertaining Tamahome with the history of the place. And it was working; Tamahome seemed fascinated, looking around the complex in wonder. "It's beautiful." He breathed, and turned to grin at me. "Don't you think so, Miaka?"

"Yes." I agreed, honestly. "Very. Um, Kankuro?" He looked at me, and I cringed, wondering how he could bear to wear so much black in this sun. "Who is staying here again? A ninja?"

"Don't worry." Kankuro smiled. "He's a friend of the Kazekage's from Konoha."

"Talking about me?" We turned to see the lanky, ever-lazy figure of Kakashi leaning against the wall behind us. Despite myself, I felt my body relax a little at the sight of him, if only because it meant there wasn't the added risk of anyone else from Konoha spotting me. "Yo."

I didn't miss the irritated once over he gave to Tamahome and I, nor did he miss the guilty expression that crept it's way over my face when Tamahome put a protective hand on my shoulder, but we both pretended otherwise.

"Ah, Kakashi. This is my friend Tamahome, and his friend Miaka. They're hoping to settle down here, so I've put them in the rooms next to yours, is that alright?"

"Fine by me." Kakashi smiled, and I fought the urge to shake Tamahome off. The way Kankuro talked about us, it made it seem like we were settling down together, and Tamahome wasn't helping things. How was I meant to search for Hanako when he seemed hell bent of keeping me safe?

After nodding his greetings to us both, Kakashi walked past us, heading to his rooms. As he brushed past me, I felt the ghost-like tough of his hand sliding up my arm, depositing something in the crook of my elbow without the two men noticing. I bowed my head in acknowledgment and watched him enter the third door on the right. His room was next to mine.

"He doesn't seem very ninja-like." Tamahome commented mildly. "I thought ninja's were more formal."

"Don't let his mannerisms fool you." Kankuro chuckled. "He's one of the top ninjas in Konoha. Tipped as one of those in line to become Hokage."

"Is that so?" Tamahome blinked. "I suppose you can't judge a book by it's cover."

"No indeed." I murmured, looking down at my hands. "Sometimes bad people seem good, and good people seem bad."

Kankuro looked to me curiously, but Tamahome hadn't noticed anything strange about the way I spoke. It took a moment for me to notice that I'd let a little of my normal accent into my speech, and I silently hoped Kankuro would let it pass.

No such luck.

"Have you ever been to Konoha, Miaka?"

"Me?" I smiled tightly. "Oh, no. I passed close by once though, I worked in a resort in central Fire Country for a while..." And, with practiced ease, I steered the conversation towards the weather, and kept things as upbeat and light as possible as Kankuro showed us around the complex.

After so long working at a resort, I found it a little tricky not to flush with envy at the opulent furnishings and perfectly maintained gardens. Taniyama would have burst a blood vessel at the sight of the dirty towels left in view though. I fought a smile, remembering the first time I'd met her, when she scolded me for allowing Hanako's dress to fray at the edges.

Hanako.

It occurred to me then, with Tamahome's hand on my shoulder and Kankuro on my other side, that this arrangement might do me more harm than good.

* * *

><p>The courtyard, I realized, was more difficult to sneak through than I'd thought. It made sense I suppose, since the area was originally intended to hold ninjas anyway. The only advantage I had was that I only wanted to go into the next room.<p>

Kakashi's note had simply given me a time. He wasn't going to give me any help yet, probably viewing this as some sort of ridiculous test of my skills. Well, so be it, I thought grimly as I looked up at the guard nin sat perfectly still on the roof.

If I sneak around as a lone ninja I'd definitely get caught. Who know what bloodline limits the ninjas around here?

Might as well just play my part.

I took a breath and walked out into the courtyard. Hesitantly, I paused at the pond and looked into the water, nodding to myself, I turned back to Kakashi's door.

I took a step closer, then someone caught my wrist.

I cried out, as though surprised. This was the ninja that had been under the water.

"What business do you have with Kakashi-sama?" A woman.

"Please don't hurt me." I gasped, eyes wide as I turned to look at my attacker. "Please. Please."

"Quit crying." She ordered, and I quietened, choosing to whimper instead. "Why are you at this door?"

"It's the ninja's door, right?" I said, voice trembling. "My brother back home is a fan, and I was hoping to talk to him."

"At ten?"

"I've been working up the courage." I sobbed. "Please don't hurt me. Ninja's are so scary but my brother really loves Konoha. I wanted to ask if he knew Naruto."

"Naruto?" Oops, wrong thing to say. The girl twisted my arm.

"He helped me once, I wanted to know how he was doing..."

"I see." She released me. "I'm sorry for hurting you. Living in a ninja village you should know that security is especially high."

"Thank you." I bowed, hurriedly. "May I ask your name?"

"No." She said sharply. "Don't wander around at night, you look suspicious." Then she was gone.

_Back under the water. _I thought with a sigh, while pretending to look around me, baffled. _Returning to the same hiding place? Seriously? What sort of ninja are you?_

But instead, I backed towards Kakashi's door and knocked quietly.

"Hell...o?" Kakashi couldn't quite hide his surprise at seeing me enter through the front. "what can I do for you?"

"U-um, excuse me, sir. My brother is a fan of Konoha ninja and... and I wondered if you knew Naruto at all? He helped us once..."

"Naruto?" He eased into the role of interrogated celebrity. "I know him, I suppose."

"Is he well?" Kakashi made a show of looking me up and down before slouching against the door almost... provocatively.

"Why don't you come in?" He said smoothly, and I fought a frown. "It's cold at night around here. I'll pour you a drink..." He trailed off suggestively and I rolled my eyes.

"U-um sure, that sounds..."

"Great." He put an arm around my waist and steered me into the room, closing the door behind me. "Well that was unexpected."

"I aim to please. But did you have to react that way? They're going to think you're seducing me."

"As I remember it was the other way around." He winked at me cheerfully. At least I think he winked. It was difficult to tell.

"That that bloody mask off." I frowned. "I can't tell what you're thinking."

Kakashi obeyed, and I relaxed a little. It had always been this way; Kakashi only let me see his face if we safe and in private. He had his mask down, so he'd de-bugged the room. He watched me keenly as I crossed the room and sat down on his sofa, lounging back over the arm of the chair so that I could see him.

He took a few steps forwards, towards the chair beside mine, and I allowed myself to bask in the nostalgia. He really was something wonderful to watch. Ninja's all moved with that little more grace than normal people (unless they were Naruto) but Kakashi was something else. He moved like a panther stalking its prey. It just came naturally to him.

"You're staring at me." He smirked as he changed direction and perched on the armrest opposite the one I leant on. "Trying to see what I'm thinking?"

"Probably dark, awful things." I quipped, and he chuckled. "If I had to guess, it would probably be that..." I surveyed his face thoughtfully. "You're hungry."

He laughed in delight. "Precisely."

I grinned. "So what _were_ you thinking?"

"No, you were right."

"Tell me!" I sat up, enjoying the game too much to notice that we were face to face.

His grin faded, and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Surprised, I sat up straighter, moving my face back away from his. "It's good to see you."

"You saw me earlier." I said softly.

"You were with another man. Two, even." He frowned. "It's been five years and you're telling me _not _to want you all to myself?"

I sighed, twisting my hands anxiously. "We can't be like that." I said gently. "We can't afford to be distracted from our search..."

"I understand what you mean but I've checked the Black Market already and I have people keeping an eye on it. If anyone bad has her they'll be trying to sell her off as quickly as possible, so Suna's slave market is the best place to start." He slipped down onto the seat beside me, affecting his ninja demeanour. "The next thing to do is set this up as a mission so that I have an excuse for being with you."

"You've been to the Black Market? What sort of people do you know there?"

"I did a lot of things when I was looking for you, and I have a good network for information in the criminal underworld." He said darkly, meeting my eyes.

Somewhere outside, the trees rustled in the wind, I could barely hear them over the beating of my own heart. "What sorts of things?"

"Things." He said curtly.

I looked away, smiling slightly. "The great copy-ninja has done things he's not proud of. How strange." She looked down. "But then again you never really told us about your past. I presume theres things you're not proud of there as well?" When he didn't reply, I smiled wider. I was being cruel, I knew it, but then much had changed. "Is fucking your teenage ex-student one of those things?"

"Sakura."

"What about knocking me up? Or when I asked you to come with me and you said I was being irrational?" I could feel my grin widening, and Kakashi watched me, horrified. "When you didn't believe that I had been _raped_? When I had to raise a child by myself? When you let my baby get taken?"

"All those things." He said softly, and took my wrist. "I regret everything. Most of all I hate that the regrets of the former generation didn't save yours." He took a deep breath. "when you were children, I thought that maybe the mistakes made by my generation would prevent your generation having to experience the same traumas."

"You were a fool." I sighed. "But so was I. That night..." I shook my head. "When you didn't believe me, I thought that maybe you were right, that I was exaggerating to cover up my own indiscretion." He flinched at the reminder of his own words, but I carried on mercilessly. "But you were wrong."

"Yes."

"I couldn't have stopped him." I gasped, fighting my own tears, I suspected unsuccessfully. "But I should have stayed."

Wordlessly, he pulled me against him, and rocked me back and forth.

"Since I left, I've done horrible things to survive, to protect Hanako." I admitted. "If I think about what I've done, I'm scared I'll go mad... If Konoha knew what I'd done, I'd be executed."

"Konoha knows." He said thickly, and I stilled. "Maybe not all of it, but enough people remembered your face from the past to get word around." When I remained silent, Kakashi continued. "You're the top ranked missing nin in the bingo books."

Of course I was. How fantastic.

My head fell forwards with a groan. "Well the sooner we find Hanako the sooner I can get out of the ninja world and start over."

"Again."

"Yes, _again_ Kakashi." I glared at him, confused. "I thought you understood..."

He stood up, and I toppled backwards, lounging back on the sofa as he paced the room. "Can't we just go home?"

"This again?"

He growled. "Hanako is one of your most loved people, I understand that, but when you compare one child to a whole village of friends, family and teammates you must be tempted." I tensed, and he put up a hand. "Also, Konoha's forces will be much better equipped to find Hanako. It doesn't have to be one or the other."

"But how can I be a mother from a prison cell? Or dead?"

"You won't be executed. Not if you go back peacefully." He stood by the window. "Doesn't it strike you as strange that Kankuro didn't recognize you?"

My breath hitched.

So it was like _this _was it?

"You tricked me? You told them?"

"No." He breathed. "The sand siblings figured it out themselves. Gaara spoke to me just two hours ago and I persuaded him not to take you into custody. Temari, however, is on her way to Konoha, to report that you've been seen, if nothing else."

"Bastard." I hissed. "You said you'd help me."

"I am helping you, Sakura. Two ninjas can't find one little girl alone, not if she's been taken by a shinobi from another village. That is what we're dealing with here in all likelihood; foreign ninjas have been known to kidnap children to recruit them themselves. If someone discovered who Hanako was... Well Konoha ANBU will have a better chance of getting her back than we do."

He knew more than he was telling me. I knew it, I fucking _knew it_ and he had me cornered. "Don't you want to find your daughter?"

He was silent for a long moment, as though choosing his words carefully.

Always so goddamned careful.

"I want to see you safe." He said at length. "I want you to not have to run anymore. You've been alone for too long, and you're not the sort of person who can be alone."

It felt like a slap to the face, those words. He was making judgements based on who I'd been _five years ago._ He had no right! I growled. "Answer my question."

"You won't be happy until your daughter is found." He said with a sigh. "So I want her found as soon as possible. You're letting your emotions take over, making you act foolishly, even though you know that I'm right."

That was the worst part. Now that he'd said it, I knew that he probably _was_ right. A team of trained, elite shinobi were much more likely to be able to find Hanako if she'd been taken into one of the less open villages, and they'd stand a better chance of infiltrating any trafficking organizations...

But Kakashi's ability to think this way... He was never a sympathetic man, not like Naruto, who would always take everyone's feeling into account, and unless Kakashi regarded someone worthy of his esteem he didn't particularly care about them.

He regarded his teammates as more important than the mission, he defended his village with his life, he had even loved me with everything he had...

But to him, Hanako was nothing. Just something I was attached to.

"I thought you liked Hanako."

He nodded, expression blank. "Of course I do."

He was telling the truth, but I could only stare at him helplessly. He liked her, but to him she was further down on the list of priorities. He loved me, and he loved Konoha, so to him reuniting his loves was more important than...

He was so cold.

But.

I was being selfish.

His points were valid, and really the only thing stopping me from returning was my defection and having to face the events that had taken place five years previously. I'd be thrown in prison certainly. I'd probably be treated the same way as Sasuke had been, though maybe more harshly so as to prevent runaway ninja becoming the norm.

I was being a fool. Of course Konoha would stand a better chance of finding Hanako. What could I do? I wasn't even a true kunoichi anymore.

Hanako was the priority. Even if Kakashi didn't agree, his suggestion was best suited to both of us.

"They'll carry out a real search?" I clarified. "As though she were a Konoha child kidnapped?"

He looked relieved. "I'll make sure of it."

Unable to form the words, I just nodded in defeat, standing up.

Understanding my intent, he tossed me a medic nin pack, though more basic than I used to carry, and a cloak. We weren't going to hang about now the decision was made, and I really didn't want the chance to reconsider.

"Thank you." He whispered, standing close beside me and brushing a hand over my hair as I returned it to it's natural bubblegum pink. "You're doing the right thing, Sakura."

I knew I was, but that didn't alleviate the churning in my stomach as unwelcome memories ripped through my mind and body as we walked through the door.

No more reason to hide...

_It had been warm the evening that Team Kakashi had gone to the Spring festival by the river. That evening when my world had been torn apart..._ .

* * *

><p><strong>Ooh! Cliffie! Reviews are much appreciated, and will be served on burnt toast- a student delicacy!<strong>

**Hooray! My summer's begun!**


	7. The Beginning

**This was an unbelievably hard chapter to write. I hope it comes across okay, and feedback would be much appreciated, even if it's to beat me with red hot reviewer flame for what I've done...**

* * *

><p>"<em>Thank you." He whispered, standing close beside me and brushing a hand over my hair as I returned it to it's natural bubblegum pink. "You're doing the right thing, Sakura."<em>

_I knew I was, but that didn't alleviate the churning in my stomach as unwelcome memories ripped through my mind and body as we walked through the door._

_No more reason to hide..._

It had been warm the evening that Team Kakashi had gone to the Spring festival by the river. That evening when my world had been torn apart.

* * *

><p>-Five Years Ago-<p>

The sky burned blue above us as I leaned on the red bridge, watching Naruto attempt to catch one of the river fish with his bare hands. I smiled down at the back of his blond head as he spread his arms wide with his face pressed close to the water. The water cast his reflection back at me, face screwed up in childishly exaggerated concentration.

"Wait... right... there, Sakura-chan." He murmured, trying not to scare off any fish that might think of heading his way. "I said... dinner... was on me..."

I raised an eyebrow, smirking. "It would be easier to pay." When he didn't respond, I sighed, draping myself over the railings. "Besides, you've not even caught one fish yet, how long will it take to catch six?"

"Once I have one, the others will come easily." Naruto said confidently, his voice rippling the water. I frowned down at him; he looked a strange sight, crouched in the water with his trousers rolled up past his knees.

"I don't think that's how it works..." I groaned, pouting.

"Plus, they'll slip through your fingers, dickless." Sai said gently, from beside me. The two of us had been the only ones patient enough, thus far, to remain on the bridge- the others had traipsed off moaning about time limits and having to get ready.

Or in Kakashi's case, having to feed his cat.

Exactly.

"Naruto, if it takes _Yamato_ an hour to get ready, how long do think it should take me?" I grumbled. "If Kakashi has to make up such a _stupid_ excuse to leave..."

"I think he had to feed his cat." Sai supplied helpfully, nose in his sketchpad, clearly only paying minimal attention to us. "That's not too ridiculous, is it?"

I fixed him with an incredulous stare. "Sai." I said, slowly. "Sweetie."

"Uh-oh." Naruto chuckled. "Terms of endearment." Sai looked up from his sketchbook, peering over it at Naruto innocently.

I carried on, eyebrows lowered. "Kakashi's got a pack of dog summons." When he blinked at me blankly, I pinched his ear. "Basically, shut up, Sai."

He scowled at me, rubbing his ear as I leaned back over the railing. When Naruto began to laugh, stood upright, Sai turned his scowl on the blond.

"Naruto, get back to your fishing. That pose you had gave me a good view of your suspiciously _small_ bulge."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"Only room for fanny flaps down there, faggot."

"GET DOWN HERE!"

"If you'd agree to pose nude it'd be even better, I've never had a model like _you _before."

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL- ARGH! A FISH BIT ME!"

Bored, I stared out at the civilian tradesmen setting up their festival stalls on the embankment. The fact that no one batted an eyelid at Naruto's outbursts proved just how settled the village was nowadays.

With no threats from the other ninja villages looming, Konoha itself was at peace., and Naruto was an exhalted hero, someone who could be forgiven a little bad language and over-excitedness every now and then.

This year would be the first official holiday in Konoha for ninjas. By orders from the Hokage herself no ninja would be on a mission for this festival. As such, the traders were pulling out all the stops, and the night would climax with a fireworks display and releasing of floating lanterns.

And Kakashi had promised we'd release one together.

Though that had been over a week ago.

My fingers traced my lower abdomen thoughtfully. I hadn't told him yet, I hadn't even been to the doctor, knowing how gossip spread in this village. All I had to go on was the at home test and my own tentative investigation.

We'd broken up again last week, and today was the first time we'd seen each other since then. He'd been perfectly normal during training, even stealing a kiss when no one was watching, so I assumed the fight was over and we were together again. The first time we'd broken up I'd been distraught, but nowadays it bothered me less, strangely, maybe because I just knew he wasn't serious; it was just his way of dealing with a fight.

Then after a variable amount of time he'd apologize, and so would I, and we'd end up a little bit closer than before.

Funnily enough we had one of the healthier relationships in the village. Ninjas were notoriously bad people to get involved with, and that rule didn't change even within the hidden villages.

And though it raised a few civilian eyebrows, our teacher-student relationship wasn't much to gossip about among the other ninjas, since we kept it away from our public lives.

"I'm going to go check on the others." I announced, pushing off the railing and walking back over the bridge. "You two can fight if you want."

"I thought we were deepening our friendship." Sai said, smirking slightly as Naruto once again exploded in the background. "But if you're leaving then I'll come with you. I have no interest in fishing."

Naruto growled, and plunged his hand into the water, grasping desperately at a fish that had strayed too close. It escaped his grasp easily and he took chase, running after it down the river.

"You don't need to escort me, you now." I grinned at Sai, "I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself."

"Of course." Sai smiled. "But it's pleasant to spend time with you. You have a more reasonable personality than Naruto." He eyed me curiously. "Unless you were planning on spending alone time with Kakashi?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You know what alone time is?"

"Locking yourself in a bedroom and sparring?"

"Precisely." I looked down at the path as we wandered through the streets. "I'll drop by his place after I'm dressed. We're on something of a break."

"Again?" He sighed. "You're not very good case studies you know. My books don't mention spending more time arguing than together, and I've never seen him sweep you off your feet into a kiss."

I laughed, hands tucked into my pockets.

"Hey, want me to help you with your make up, Ugly?" Sai offered, and I fought a twitch at the nickname, reminding myself that this was _Sai _trying to be helpful. And he was pretty handy with makeup, I had to (grudgingly) admit.

So I nodded, and we meandered back to my house.

* * *

><p>When the day began to sink into its bed of pink and purple twilight, I watched from the window as the lights by the river were lit; a thousand tiny candles creating a brighter glow than that of the electric bulb above my head.<p>

Behind me, Kakashi grunted in annoyance, trying to fix his yukata. "Bloody thing. I should just wear my uniform."

"Don't you dare." I said, looking back at him. "If I'm dressing up, so are you."

"You _enjoy _dressing up. I go to great pains not to."

I scowled, poking his Hitai-ate. "Really? Because the eyepatch just screams wannabe pirate." I smirked as his frown deepened: his mask lowered as he dressed.

"Well your hair screams _children's tv show host._" He growled. I lunged at him, tackling him to the floor. Responding quickly, he used my momentum to flip us over, pinning me to the floor and kissing me lightly. "Truce?"

"For which fight?"

"All of them."

"About that-" I trailed off, suddenly anxious. Sensing my mood, Kakashi stood, helping me up, and reverted to teacher-mode: calm and wise.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, adjusting his yukata one last time. He watched me as I stepped close to him, lifting off his Hitai-ate. "Sakura?"

"Not _wrong, _just..." I sighed. "I was wondering if you'd take me to the festival."

One silver eyebrow rose slowly: incredulously. "I am taking you to the festival."

I sighed, adjusting his yukata so it sat correctly. "No, I mean _really._ As in: as a couple." I smiled softly. "Not as a team." He took my hands in his, watching me seriously. I avoided his eyes, silently wishing he wouldn't challenge me for once.

"We're not ditching the others." He said, with a hint of finality. "Naruto would kill me." I was about to pull away when he bent down to whisper in my ear. "But we could sneak off after meeting up with them."

I smiled, and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." I sang, twisting away. He pulled his mask up and tied a sash over his eye.

"Less piratey?" he checked, and I laughed. "What?"

"Nothing." I grinned, looping my arms around his neck. "I'm just happy."

"How unusual." He smirked, running his hands along my back. "Is there something else?"

I paused, mind straying to the morning's pregnancy test; were we stable enough, as a couple, to have a child? Were we too selfish as individuals? We were actually together, happy like this, less than a third of the time, the rest of the time was spent either ignoring each other or having huge arguments.

"Yeah." I said, thoughtfully. "But I'll tell you after we release a lantern together."

Of course, we never got the chance.

* * *

><p>"Sakura, can I talk to you for a bit?"<p>

I turned, eyebrows raised at the man in front of me. "Sasuke." I smiled. "What are you doing here? I didn't think this was your sort of thing."

He shrugged, watching me, and I felt chills run down my back. Fighting off a shiver, I turned to look around me. Kakashi had been dragged away by Gai for some sort of contest, and the others had dispersed among the stalls.

Since Sasuke's return and subsequent incarceration, he had been fairly frosty towards all of us. It had broken Naruto's heart, though he pretended otherwise. There had been rumours about Sasuke being put back on duty recently, and I couldn't help but think it might be better for my team if he didn't.

I still cared for him- loved him greatly, but with us he'd only be reminded of what he's missed out on, and if he was in another team maybe things had a chance of getting back to normal.

He'd been lightening up a little recently, but you wouldn't be able to tell now- not with him stood before with shadows under his burning eyes.

"I need to talk to you." He glanced around. "Alone."

I nodded, following him into the thick undergrowth of the training grounds.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Naruto, you seen Sakura?" Kakashi frowned, striding over to the younger man. Naruto was deeply involved in a game of hook a duck, where the ducks don't have any hooks.<p>

It was a simple case of chakra control, but Naruto hadn't quite figured it out yet.

"Naruto."

"Huh?" He turned to look up at me, confused. "She was with you wasn't she?"

"Was." Kakashi sighed, pointing a thumb back at Gai, who was rejoicing his win in the game of higher or lower. "I was detained."

Naruto glanced around thoughtfully. "Not seen her." He said, a little grouchily. "She's probably looking around the stalls... want me to come help you look?"

"No, no, you carry on playing." Kakashi fought a smile as a thirteen year old genin picked up a duck first try. "Try to win."

"I'm not going for first place, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said solemnly. "Second prize is a free all-you-can-eat at Ichiraku's."

Kakashi chuckled. "Right, choose your battles."

He wandered away, picking out his battered Icha Icha Tactics book as he kept an eye out for a flash of pink in the crowd. He wasn't sure why, but his chest felt very tight and uncomfortable, as though something awful was about to happen.

Not one to fight his instincts, he began to search a little more urgently for Sakura.

Logically, she was one of the strongest ninja in the village, and even if something did happen to her, she was _the _best medic in the village. Countless times she'd told him off for trying to look after her- at _all_ -as if it meant he was underestimating her.

Logically, he knew that she was more likely to be causing the trouble than being a victim of it.

But his heart was filled with lead, and he couldn't see her.

The first firework went off behind him, and he turned to squint up. Well that was convenient, he'd just make his way to their meeting place and find her there.

"_I'll tell you after we release a lantern together."_

Ah, first he had to buy a lantern.

* * *

><p>This wasn't happening.<p>

It couldn't be happening.

Sasuke had me pressed into the thick leafy mulch of the forest floor, soil and rotting leaves caught in my hair and clothes, tickling my face as a hand pressed me down.

I tried to push against the body bearing down on top of mine. "Get off me, you idiot!" I growled, masking the horror that seeped through my bones when I realized that my limbs wouldn't respond. "What are you doing?"

"Quiet." He ordered me, tugging at my yukata. Alarmed, I tried to slap him, but again found my arms immobile.

"You drugged me?" I gasped, and he frowned, annoyed. "Sasuke, stop!"

He opted instead for gagging me with my own sash, forcing it down my throat until tears stung my eyes. "I said be _quiet_, stop trying to attract attention." And he pulled the robe apart, exposing my matching lingerie. /his eyebrows raised and he glanced to my face in surprise. "Big night planned?"

Unable to answer, I settled for a glare, which he didn't notice, having already moved his gaze to wander over my cold, exposed body.

The breeze, which had been so pleasant earlier, and a welcome reprieve from the heat, sent goosebumps across my stomach, chest and legs. Sasuke sat back on his heels, eyes raking over me coolly, analytically. "I suppose you'll do." He said, sending a rush of horror and humiliation through me.

I'd met women who'd been attacked before, and I'd heard so many stories about their experiences; how they'd felt, the pain they'd gone through. I'd comforted women who had been completely savaged and thought that I'd seen enough to be able to sympathize.

I'd been so stupid. Nothing compared to this.

I couldn't have understood.

I wished I could have blacked out; anything so that I wouldn't feel every rough grope, every painful thrust...

I wished I didn't have the irrational fear that my baby was being poisoned by this moment.

* * *

><p>I was sat on the floor of Kakashi's living room when he came back early the next morning. It took him a moment to spot me, but when he did, the sharp intake of breath let me know just how bad I looked.<p>

"Sakura?" His voice was slurred; he'd been drinking. His eye narrowed. "Why are you on the floor?" He stumbled towards me and sat directly in front of me, looking over my bruises in concern.

"I..." didn't want to dirty his chairs. But how was I meant to explain that?

Sensing something was wrong, Kakashi reached out, ignoring my flinch, and stroked my cheek. "What happened?"

"Come away with me."

"What?" He laughed a little. "What are you saying?"

"Lets leave. Leave Konoha, just you and me."

Kakashi frowned. "Careful Sakura, those are traitorous words."

"Sasuke raped me."

He snatched his hand back as though he'd been stung. My eyes fixed on his knees as I listened to the silence, waiting. "No."

"What?"

Kakashi's face was hard, his eyes a little desperate. "Why would you _say_ that?"

My anger got the better of me. "Because he forced me to the ground and _fucked _me in the woods." I snapped. "What the hell is your definition?"

"You had sex with Sasuke." Kakashi stood up, swaying slightly. "How could you?"

My mouth ran dry, did he even know what he was _saying?_

"I waited on the bridge for three hours, Sakura. While I was waiting you were..."

"_Kakashi!"_

Kakashi looked away, took a deep, steadying breath. "I'm sorry, Sakura. I didn't mean to shout." He sat on the chair across from me, head in his hands. "Sasuke has always been important to you, it's natural that you'd need to... explore the possibility that..." He trailed off, and I swear I saw his shoulders tremble, though I had little pity. "And I know we have our problems."

"Please listen to me." I whispered, tears falling freely. "Please, Kakashi..."

"But I don't understand why you'd make up a story like this, Sakura. I didn't think you were capable of... Do you know how serious those allegations are?"

I leaned over my knees, sobbing as Kakashi stood up, stumbling towards the bedroom. "Yes, Kakashi. I do."

"We'll talk about this in the morning Sakura. I need... I need to sleep."

Before the door had even closed, my heart had been broken... and I'd decided what I had to do.


	8. Return

**Sorry this is so late! I've not had any internet for most of the summer which has pretty much done my head in! This chapter was also pretty hard to write because I didn't want it to get too repetitive, but also just wanted to give a vague idea of where everybody is nowadays in Konoha.**

**Hope you're still with me, and if you need a reminder of what's happened so far, here you go:**

Kakashi found Sakura, who had been a missing nin for five years, hiding in a small resort town in Suna. Sakura had been hiding the existence of his daughter from him after escaping Konoha following her rape at the hands of Sasuke, who had been reinstated as a part of their team.

Sakura had also found herself resenting Konoha's way of life, and the control it had over it's citizens, and didn't want her daughter to become a killer like she had- blinded by the illusion of glory.

When her daughter was kidnapped, Sakura eventually allowed Kakashi to escort her back to Konoha, where she is sure to face imprisonment after five years gone rogue.

* * *

><p>"<em>Do you know how serious those allegations are?"<em>

_I leaned over my knees, sobbing as Kakashi stood up, stumbling towards the bedroom. "Yes, Kakashi. I do."_

"_We'll talk about this in the morning Sakura. I need... I need to sleep."_

_Before the door had even closed, my heart had been broken... and I'd decided what I had to do._

.

The familiar roads curled lazily around great old tree trunks, and the warm, golden sunlight shone through the leafy canopy, casting dappled shadows of the lush green undergrowth. I could hear birds singing, and a squirrel darted across the pathway before me.

It was a beautiful day on the outskirts of Konoha, I thought, turning to throw up behind a bush.

Through my thick travelling cloak the sun burned my flesh, and the familiar smells of the Konoha springtime burned my nostrils. Everything I had once loved about this place felt like it was taunting me, trying to push me back, away.

The very land itself knew I didn't belong here anymore.

Behind me, Kakashi rubbed the space between my shoulders reassuringly, his touch firm and _familiar_.

I threw up again.

"It's not far now." Kakashi's voice soothed unnecessarily. It might have been five years, but these roads were as much a part of me as the heart pounding against my ribs. As much as Kakashi was.

"They know I'm here already, don't they?" I asked, my voice soft and raw, throat burning.

Kakashi nodded, and his hand moved to my shoulder. "Scouts will have reported back already."

I glanced upwards, knowing that the Konoha ANBU were probably watching me as we spoke. Slowly, my eyes fell to Kakashi's face, hidden so predictably behind that mask he wore. Both eyes were revealed to keep an eye on me, and I fought back another wave of nausea at the concern in his face.

_Don't look like that. _I silently willed him. _Don't make me forget why I left._

Something must have shown in my face, because Kakashi turned his eyes to focus on a spot beside my head. "Lets keep moving. We don't want to keep the Hokage waiting."

His hand slipped down my arm to my elbow, and strong fingers tugged me forward gently, but the tenseness in his shoulders let me know that I had little choice.

I could see the gates.

The towering red gates used to make me feel so secure, so welcome. A signifier of home. Behind those gates I'd know I could relax and see my friends, have a drink, go shopping...

But it felt like the wool had been ripped from my eyes; those gates were going to shut behind me, and never let me go again.

Instead of the usual greeting, all I got were hard, unreadable stares. Inside the village border, Tsunade stood tall, glaring past me. Kakashi and I came to a stop just inside the gates and were surrounded by ANBU within seconds.

The rest of the village seemed empty, presumably having been told to stay inside like the dog-nin they were. The silence was palpable, and I kept my eyes on Tsunade, not daring to move.

After what felt like an hour Tsunade closed her eyes as though in pain, and swallowed. "Haruno-san, for crimes against Konoha and those under the protection of the allied villages I am placing you under arrest-"

"No, Tsunade-sama..."

"_Kakashi!_" Tsunade flinched, and opened her glassy eyes to meet his eyes, not glancing at me once. "Haruno-san will be escorted to the maximum security prison pending her interrogation and subsequent trial." Her lips tightened. "Don't fight me on this."

The muscles in Kakashi's neck twitched and jumped, but he bowed his head respectfully. I touched his waist gently, a gentle thanks as I raised my chin and turned my eyes on the senior ranking ANBU to Tsunade's right.

"Shall we?"

"Please don't talk." The voice was hollow, and I allowed my eyes to fix on the bright blue through the holes cut into the fox mask.

My mouth twisted into an ugly imitation of the smile I once had. "Naruto. You're not happy to see me?" I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes, but the bite in my voice was enough to make his narrow in anger.

"Take her." He commanded, and my hands were bound tightly in wooden handcuffs. I felt the power leak from me as the chakra-sealing jutsu on them sapped my strength.

.

I'd been stripped of my clothing and given the shapeless sack uniform of the prison, my arms were manacled to the wall; low enough that I was sat on the floor, but tight enough to prevent movement. As far as I knew, this could just be temporary, in preparation for the investigation, but who knew what maximum security meant?

I'd been roughed up a bit by the kunoichi who had changed me; apparently I'd taught her in a class once, and she'd aspired to be just like me. Something about hero-worship gone wrong, and a love of my teammates who I'd betrayed.

I hadn't concentrated much on what she'd been saying; I'd been a little occupied trying to block out the pain.

When the door to my cell opened I closed my eyes, not wanting to face my interrogator for fear of incurring the wrath my former friends must wield in response to my betrayal.

"Sakura." The voice was wary, and I kept my eyes tightly shut, trembling as I heard Naruto close the door behind him and approach me, setting something down at my side. A sloshing of water hitting the floor made me wince, and Naruto sighed softly. "What happened?"

His hand, calloused and firm but gentle beyond measure, tilted my chin up towards the light. He sucked in a soft breath, and I felt a warm damp cloth begin to wipe away the dried blood on my face.

We remained like that for some time- Naruto gently cleaning me up, and me remaining steadfastly still.

Eventually, Naruto sighed and I heard him shift on the floor before me, removing his hands from my face. As he rinsed out the cloth I opened my eyes to watch him.

He'd removed the mask, and I studied his features hungrily; five years had lengthened his nose a little, and narrowed his lips, taken his baby fat and narrowed once huge, round eyes. When he'd finished rinsing the cloth, her raised his eyes and met mine, stiffening in surprise.

What did he see in my face, I wonder.

"Oh, Sakura." He breathed, and ran his fingers across my face more freely now, seeking out each new crease and each hardened plane. "I wish..."

I leaned forwards, towards him. My wrists strained painfully against the manacles. "Naruto." I whispered, and his lips parted, transfixed. "Let me go." His eyes hardened. "Please. I need..." I shifted, heaving a breath. "You have to help me."

"Sakura."

"Someone took her, Naruto. They took her." When nothing showed on his face I pressed on. "Do you know? Naruto, that's why I'm here."

"You're here because Kakashi found you." Naruto growled. "He never gave up searching, Sakura, none of us gave up hope that..." He trailed off.

"That I didn't betray you?" When he didn't respond, I scowled. "I left of my own free will, Naruto, and I sold many things to protect myself." Secrets, jutsu, myself. "I had no choice. No one here would..."

"Sakura, don't." Naruto stood up. "I shouldn't have come."

"Hasn't Kakashi told you anything?" I blinked, bemused. "He _knows_ Naruto, he knows why I left and he promised that if I came back that _you'd help me find my daughter_."

Naruto paused, glaring down at me, confused. "What?"

I shook my head. "I had to leave, Naruto. I couldn't stay because two of my team mates, two of the people I loved betrayed me that night." I stared up at him, wildly hoping he'd believe me.

Naruto stood absolutely still, staring at me. He was still wearing the form fitting ANBU uniform, and his tattoo stood stark and black against his tan skin. the fox mask hadn't been removed, but hung limp from his neck below his chin. He was every inch the perfect soldier, and he didn't believe me.

Without another word, his eyes dulled, and he turned away from me, leaving my cell and locking the door behind him. Taking with him the only light I had.

.

I was left in the dark much longer than I had been before, but soon my door opened again. This time I glared bravely at the man who entered. His tall, lean form moved towards me with the grace of a panther stalking its prey.

He sighed, and I smirked up at him. "Happy now, Kakashi?"

"Don't be stupid." He snapped, and sat down before me, eyes unreadable. "I didn't think you'd end up here so suddenly."

"Yes you did."

"Well, yes I did." I assented, "But I hoped not."

He ran a hand through his hair, weary and defeated. It took me a moment to remember that he was the reason I was here, the reason I wasn't with my daughter as we spoke. "Naruto hates me. You must be pleased."

He grunted.

"Did you have any intention at all of helping me? Hanako is your daughter too, Kakashi. That might not mean much to you but-"

"I'm well aware of my obligations, Sakura."

"_Listen to me!_" I snapped. "Have you even realized what I meant that night? I was going to tell you about her, Kakashi. I'd just found out I was pregnant and I was going to tell you after we released a lantern together."

He stopped breathing for a moment, closing his eyes. There was a long shuddering breath before- "You knew you were pregnant when you left? You knew you were depriving me of the chance to be a father."

"I didn't leave to spite you, Kakashi. You're so fucking selfish." I hissed. "Yes, I knew, and yes I'd do it again because..." My eyes filled with tears, and I swallowed thickly. "You remember what you said that night?"

He lifted his chin, confused.

"I told you what he did, but you accused me of cheating on you." I kept his gaze even as my vision blurred. "I went to you for help and you denied me. How could I have stayed to raise a child with you? How could I trust you again?"

Kakashi moved his hand to touch my knee but paused, holding it almost a centimetre away as we both stilled. "I'm so..." He paused. "I'd been drinking, and I was angry when I couldn't find you after the fireworks. It's no excuse..."

"No, it's not." I growled. He took his hand back, and stood.

The light from the hallway beyond the door cast him in silhouette- a tall, ominous figure looking down at me on the damp stone floor. "I'll try to help you, Sakura. You just have to trust me."

"Yeah, sure." He winced at the scorn in my voice and turned to leave, closing the door behind him. As soon as I was in the darkness again Sai revealed himself.

It broke my heart to see the change in Sai.

He'd evidently rejoined ANBU, and wore the uniform of a commander. He'd grown an inch or so taller and his expression had sallowed almost beyond what he'd been when we met him the first time around. Kakashi had been wrong.

Sai wasn't... Sai. Not anymore.

It seemed that how much people had changed was another thing I couldn't trust Kakashi on.

"Oh, Sai." I whispered, and sagged against the wall. He didn't move, just held the lamp in his hand as he looked me over with the eyes of a tactician. I glanced to the door that Kakashi had closed behind him. "You heard..."

"You were pregnant. Yes, I heard. Did Sasuke rape you?" The words were so cold, so clinical, and I blinked, caught by surprise.

"Y-yes."

"You left because Kakashi didn't believe you."

The way he said it made it sound so stupid. "Well... yes."

"You didn't come to me or Naruto?"

"I didn't think."

Sai looked away for a moment, towards the door. "When was your daughter taken?"

I floundered. "About two weeks ago maybe..." His eyes narrowed. "What? Sai do you know what's going on?"

"No." He said, and attempted a smile. "Relax Ugly, I don't think you'll be executed." And with that he disappeared. Just vanished into thin air. The shock of it took my breath away.

But three visits had left me with a lot to think about.

Which I supposed was a good thing, since there wasn't much else to do while chained to a wall.

.

"Kakashi." He turned in surprise to hear the voice behind him, but masked it easily as he turned to face the blonde.

"Ino. It's been a while."

The streets of Konoha were pretty quiet tonight; word had gotten around that a high-ranking missing nin had been brought in, and the civilians were keeping out of the way. They remembered how it had been last time.

Ino stood outside her mother's flower shop, watching Kakashi with eyes much more solemn than he'd seen them before. "Is it true?" She demanded, one hand cradling her swelling belly protectively. To see that, Kakashi had to fight down a shudder.

"Is what true?"

"Don't fuck around Kakashi." She growled. "Sa- I may not be high on the list of priorities but I'd like to know."

"Maybe you should ask your husband."

"You're the one who's meant to have brought her in."

He sighed, and Ino waddled closer. "It's true." He looked up at the shop, were a two year old stood clutching the doorframe. A shock of dark blonde hair stuck out at odd angles, and bright blue eyes peered out at Kakashi. Noticing his gaze, Ino glanced over her shoulder and waved a hand at the girl.

"Makino. Go inside."

"But mommy..."

"I'm fine, finish your flower arrangement. I'll be inside soon." The toddler waddled inside glumly, shooting her mother a glare. Ino ran a hand through her hair, cut to her chin years ago to prevent small hands pulling it out. She frowned and rested her weight on one hip, staring back at the shop in deep thought. "Have you spoken to her?"

"She'll be interrogated soon."

"You're not worried?"

A loaded question. Yes, he was worried. He was about to go out of his mind trying to figure out what to do, what would be best. He didn't even know where to start.

Ino took his silence as a negative. "For crying out loud _Taichou! _You were together, weren't you?"

He narrowed his eyes. "What are you suggesting?"

"Sakura was a crappy liar, always was. I knew before you did, idiot." A small smirk danced around her lips but fell away as she turned on him again. "Did you know she had an appointment booked at the hospital for the week after she left? I got a call asking why she'd missed her pregnancy test."

Of course, they'd been living together. "You didn't think to tell me?"

Ino shrugged, not caring. "Would it have changed anything? You might have stopped looking for her."

Why did everyone think the idea of being a father was so terrible to him? Did he just walk around giving off anti-baby signals?

Well yes he probably did, come to think of it.

But Ino was watching his reactions. "Or did you know? Maybe you didn't want it, or maybe it wasn't yours." Her eyes glimmered speculatively, and he forced his hands not to ball into fists.

"Ino, stop."

"The thing I want to know is... what happened to that child?" Ino stepped forwards. "Did you kill it?"

"I would never do that to her." Kakashi hissed. "You have no idea." He turned to leave but Ino took hold of his arm, her grip surprisingly strong.

"Let me see her."

"Only ANBU can see her."

"Then let me in as a healer. I need to help her Kakashi, she's my friend." Her eyes were narrowed and angry, but there was a quiver to the lip that told him she was probably about to cry...

Oh kami, don't let her cry on him.

He pulled her to one side, into an alleyway. "You want to help?" Oh crap, he was going to regret this... "Ask around, see if a little girl has been brought in by any Konoha ninja." And he told her everything. Every damn thing that had happened since he found her.

Ino gripped his arm tightly. "Why did you bring her back here? You could have searched by yourself. You could have had Taniyama lodge a formal mission request..." She gritted her teeth. "You're too selfish, Kakashi."

"You're not the first person to tell me that." He sighed. "I'm... I don't know."

Ino watched him, lips set in the way most mothers do when they're listening to a child's excuses. God, that face was annoying. "You know you've fucked up, right?"

"Once or twice." Kakashi grimaced. "Maybe."

"Go and tell Tsunade what's going on Kakashi. I'll do my best but I'm retired now. There's only so much I can do to help." Kakashi stepped away but Ino put up a hand to his chest. "Wait. There's something you should know. I think it's important." She took a deep breath. "It's about Sasuke."

.

Sai watched from the shadows as Kakashi and Ino seperated. Really, some people. Not a care for who could be listening in to their little conversation.

He supposed it suited him well enough, but still. After a moment of deliberation he turned and headed East, running over the golden red and green rooftops of Konoha's civilian district, towards the clan districts.

Konoha's clans took up most of the Eastern side of Konoha; huge walled complexes with the spaces between taken up by the large homes of the more affluent civilians and politicians living inside the safety of Konoha's walls. Sai, as a member of ANBU's elite, was one of the few allowed inside the gates of every clan compound without contest.

In theory, at least.

As he approached the site of the old Uchiha compound he fought down the slight twinge of Schadenfreude at the thought of Sasuke's fate since his return.

Upon Tsunade's inauguration, she had immediately turned the Uchiha compound into an open residential area and had even gone so far as to completely rebuild the district with the exception of Sasuke's former home.

That house was the only indicator the Uchiha's had ever occupied the area and once the rumours of violent hauntings had died down, the district had become a bright and welcoming cul-de-sac; the perfect place for Konoha's civilian families to raise their children.

Sasuke's home had been used by Tsunade as something of a community medic base- a place for minor health issues that civilians could use without worrying about taking up the time of the hospital staff.

Sasuke... had not been impressed.

He'd been allowed to move into the district when he kicked up a fuss about having to share Naruto's flat, but since the medical centre had proved so successful (and had been heavily renovated anyway) he'd been moved into a modest family home next door.

Which had proved to be quite convenient since he married a year later.

According to Ino, Sasuke had returned from his mission just that morning and had gone straight home after checking in with Tsunade. It might be time he paid his former team mate a visit.

After Sakura had defected, Team Kakashi had continued on together for about a year, before both Kakashi and Naruto joined ANBU, Naruto against Sai's counsel and Kakashi without telling anyone but the Hokage. After that Yamato had led Sasuke and Sai for a few months before, noticing the toll ANBU was taking on Naruto, Sai also rejoined ANBU's forces.

After that, Sasuke was promoted to Jounin status and although he applied to be a Genin teacher, he was kept as a supplement to other teams if his skills should be needed, or sent on diplomatic missions under Jounin supervision.

It was a diplomatic mission he'd just returned from, and Sai wanted to check if he'd seen (or been responsible for) anything untoward.

The Uchiha compound was little more than an average civilian suburb nowadays, but Sasuke had managed to rent his old home back from the village council and now lived there alone but for his wife, a younger ninja who had made it to Chuunin before Sasuke married her and she retired.

Knocking on the door, Sai glanced briefly at the red and white clan symbol Sasuke had painted on the door in distaste. The symbol was synonymous with a dark time in Konoha's history and most of the villagers he knew would rather the Uchiha clan gone and forgotten forever.

The door opened and Sai smiled blankly at the girl who stood before him. "Riku-san. Is Ladyboy home?" The slight twitch at Riku's eyebrow was all that signified her displeasure at his comment as she stood a littler straighter and met his eyes.

"Sai-san. My husband is very tired from his mission and if you don't mind..."

"Oh, well if you insist... I'd love to have a cup of tea with you." Sai nodded and stepped neatly past the dark haired girl into the living room. He heard a faintly disapproving click of her tongue, but as polite and constrained as Sasuke himself, she went to heat a teapot anyway.

Sai's eyes swept the room quickly, checking for any bugs. One behind the vase and one in the window frame, but he'd installed those himself while helping decorate the house years ago. "This house is always so clean. You are a perfect housewife indeed." He smirked, glancing at Riku to gauge her reaction. She flushed and raised her shoulders slightly.

"Thank you."

"How are your hospital visits going?" Riku glared at him, but he simply smiled. "Of course I noticed. Is there much to report?"

"... No improvement." Riku grimaced. "I'm afraid my husband really needs to rest and I'm afraid..."

"Sai. Go away." Sasuke stood in a doorway, and even Sai had to admit he looked worse than usual; dark shadows smeared across the skin beneath his eyes, and he beckoned for his wife to move. "Riku, please show Sai the door. He has no reason to be here."

Riku dashed across the room and opened the front door expectantly, watching Sasuke with large, fixed eyes. Sai frowned. "I presume you've heard the news?"

"What news?" Sasuke growled.

"Sakura's returned." Sai raised a hand, gesturing grandly. "She's very interested in seeing you, when you have the chance." He smirked when Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and his face visibly blanched. "Well, I'll see you later, Ladyboy."

The door actually slammed behind him.

So with that done, Sai simply needed to check up on Sasuke's entourage.

.

"Piss off Sai." Kiba snorted. "You think Sasuke could do anything with the four of us watching him?"

"I'm suggesting it's possible. You don't need to take offence at a fact." Sai frowned, genuinely concerned. "I wasn't voicing my opinion, an example of which is that your facial markings are frankly rather ludicrous, dog boy."

Kiba growled, and beside him, the beast he called a dog did the same. "They're clan markings. They're a sign of pride."

"The clans are completely obsolete since the marriage rules were abolished. Don't you have your eyes on the Hyuuga? Can you imagine how those children would be?"

Kiba slammed his fist into a tree. "Sai! For fuck's sake. Look, there's no way Sasuke would get past me, Shino _and _Hinata. It's impossible. Neither bugs or dogs are susceptible to Genjutsu and Hinata's eyes are miles better that the Sharingan anyway." He crouched slightly in a menacing manner. "Now get out of here before me and Akamaru rip your liver out."

"It's 'Akamaru and I', actually." Sai frowned. "And although I appreciate the werewolf reference, I don't feel it applies here."

"Just go!"

Sai rolled his eyes and shrugged at Shino. "Thanks anyway."

"No problem." The man nodded, a fly dashing out from behind his glasses and into his shirt. Sai suppressed a shudder. Naruto was right; this guy was just with one suspect down, Sai had only two left in the village.

But he was going to be late for dinner, and if he didn't even check in once Ino would actually kill him, and their child might cry, which was somewhat worse somehow.

* * *

><p><strong>Please R&amp;R! Who has an idea of who Sai's suspects could be?<strong>


	9. Made a Mess of Things

**Apologies for the lateness! It's my final year of uni so things are scatty at the moment.**_  
><em>

_.  
><em>

_Kiba slammed his fist into a tree. "Sai! For fuck's sake. Look, there's no way Sasuke would get past me, Shino and Hinata. It's impossible. Neither bugs or dogs are susceptible to Genjutsu and Hinata's eyes are miles better that the Sharingan anyway." He crouched slightly in a menacing manner. "Now get out of here before me and Akamaru rip your liver out."_

"_It's 'Akamaru and I', actually." Sai frowned. "And although I appreciate the werewolf reference, I don't feel it applies here."_

"_Just go!"_

_Sai rolled his eyes and shrugged at Shino. "Thanks anyway."_

"_No problem." The man nodded, a fly dashing out from behind his glasses and into his shirt. Sai suppressed a shudder. Naruto was right; this guy was just with one suspect down, Sai had only two left in the village._

_But he was going to be late for dinner, and if he didn't even check in once Ino would actually kill him, and their child might cry, which was somewhat worse somehow._

.

"Ugh, Sakura really. You should do something about this hair." Ino scolded, tugging a brush through the pink strands. "I suppose you at least grew it out a little."

"Just as you cut yours." I muttered, and Ino's hand patted my arm in acknowledgement.

"I know, it's strange. I've become everything I said I wouldn't. I'm a real little woman, waiting at home to take care of the nest." I kept my eyes on the floor as she laughed carelessly. "I thought Sai would be surprised but he just shrugged as though he didn't care. But Sai's just like that."

"As long as you're happy." I ground out, trying to sound as cheerful as I could while still chained to a wall. Ino had brought in a large lantern and was currently styling my hair and make up so that I didn't look _quite_so rogue.

That fact that I was rogue didn't come up.

"Do you... have children?"

He hands stilled in my hair, and she sat back, pretty blue eyes flitting across my face nervously. "Two. A girl and a boy. The boy was born a year after you left. Yoshio. He looks just like Sai." She smiled. "He's so clever, and funny..." A stab of pain went through me.

Hanako.

"I didn't know you two were even seeing each other." I said softly.

Ino smiled, cupping my chin so I was staring at her. "Yoshio was the result of a one night stand. We weren't really together until after he was born." I raised and eyebrow and she laughed. "I know. He got it into his head that we should be together and I went with it."

"Isn't that sort of taking advantage?"

Ino smiled. "Sort of. But he seems genuine, and I really am happy with him. He's better at this stuff than you give him credit for." Her eyebrows furrowed, catching herself. "Well, better than you gave him credit for. I suppose you're not really..." She blinked away tears. "It's so weird. It feels like you've just been here the whole time."

I sighed.

"I heard that you've been saying you have a daughter." She said, thoughtfully. "Kakashi confirms it's his." Oh really, that would be the first time he'd actually acknowledged Hanako as his own. I snorted and, at Ino's confused look, said as much. Blue eyes narrowed. "He's fighting your corner, you know. I know he's a lazy ass, but he's in love with you. I think."

"You're so convincing."

"Well I don't know!" Ino pouted. "He's acting as a witness at your hearing, so that counts for something."

"It depends if he's helping me or not." I said dryly, as Ino stood up, dusting off her knees. "Call me paranoid but Kakashi isn't one of my most trusted people right now." I sighed. Kakashi had never been an easy person to figure out, even when I'd spent every day with him. The only thing you could never question was his strong, unflinching devotion to Konoha.

A Konoha I wasn't a part of, anymore.

Ino sat back on her heels and smiled. "There. Done. Everything about you screams 'Reformed' now."

She held up a mirror, and I glared at the girl reflected back at me; Ino was right. Big green eyes lined softly with brown to look innocent and humble, long pink hair tousled just enough to look a mixture of angelic and downtrodden, and my bruises had been softened to look more like a feminine victim rather than a hardened fighter.

It was awful.

But it might help.

"Thanks." I said, and forced a smile. "It looks good." and almost on cue, the door to my cell opened. Shikamaru glanced at the two of us before activating his shadow control and making me stand up.

Ino scowled. "She doesn't _need_to be controlled, Shikamaru!"

"Orders are orders." Shikamaru sighed, but as we walked through the corridors to the council room, I realized that this was much lower security than I'd expect. Either Konoha was short staffed or they were stupid enough to be relatively trusting of me.

This might not be as hard as I'd assumed.

Tsunade sat at the head of the table, with the council members and clan leaders spreading out either side of her. I recognized more faces than I expected: some of my old comrades had attained their hereditary positions in my absence: Neji and Hinata were both present, as was Sasuke himself, though from his position at the table it seemed he held almost no real power. Naruto was sat next to Tsunade, and Kakashi was not too far down the line.

I'd not even known that the Hatake family was a clan.

Ino's father gave me a barely perceptible nod, and behind me, Ino reached out to hold my hand. Shikamaru knelt me down in the centre of the room and I bowed my head low.

"Haruno Sakura." Tsunade's voice sounded so much more tired than I remembered. "You are to be tried before the council and clan leaders of Konoha. Are you aware of the charges laid against you?"

"I am, Hokage-sama." I said quietly.

.

The hearing passed in something of a blur, despite my best efforts to keep myself focused. I remember feeling sick as Naruto, Sai, Sasuke and Kakashi recounted the details of the night before my defection in all the detail they could.

Kakashi, after a hesitation, even told them that Sasuke had attacked me, and that he had blamed me. I tried to speak up to deny it, but something about his expression silenced me.

Tsunade had decided to hold a hearing for Sasuke another time, but stressed that this didn't excuse my subsequent actions.

Witnesses from other countries gave evidence against me, and I was given the chance to defend myself. Afterwards, I remembered nothing of what I'd said but Naruto at least, had a less betrayed expression on his face, though he kept his eyes firmly turned from Sasuke.

When Hanako came up, Tsunade checked Ino's, Kakashi's and the hospital's accounts of why they believed I was pregnant, and concluded that I was telling the truth about giving birth on the run.

I'm not sure if it was out of mercy, fondness or even for the sake of the people who loved me, but the council ruled that I would be under house arrest for a total of ten years, lending my services and skills as a medic nin to the village whenever they required it.

It was an astonishingly light sentence, but according to Sai, Tsunade had wept after the hearing, alone in her office, and had put a ban on Sasuke leaving the village at all until his own hearing.

"It's his word against mine." I told Sai, as he escorted me to the guarded house in the Hokage's grounds. "There can't be a conviction. I left it too late."

Sai glanced up at the Hokage tower, and his hands tightened on my wrists. "Despite pretending otherwise, the Hokage is a very emotional person. While this gives her strength beyond belief, it also confuses her when she needs to be... well, like me. She won't make an informed decision, because she believes that Sasuke touched you. She loves you, and she's angry."

"Look at you." I smiled. "Talking about love and hate like a normal person. What a family man."

Sai smiled softly. "Well I have infants to teach, and I'd like it very much if they were as kind as my friends." I blinked, unsure how to take that comment. "Here you are. It's not big, but considering its purpose I'd say it's actually very aesthetically pleasing."

He was right, I supposed. The house was a neat little white plastered bungalow joined to the wall of the Hokage tower at the back, with a sloping red roof leading to a neat red door. It wasn't big, probably only big enough to hold the necessary rooms, and about the size of Naruto's old apartment. But it did look neat, and fairly pretty.

The assortment of cameras and ANBU hiding places were probably the only things that ruined it.

"So I'll be living here for the next ten years..." I said bitterly. "Wonderful." I pursed my lips at the realization this was a home for one. "Where will Hanako fit? There's only space for one, right?"

"Well if- _when_we find her, Tenzou can build an extension quickly. He's coming down later to fix a clinic to one side." Sai smirked. "He's a pretty handy builder to have around. No time to even make him a cup of tea and he's off on his way."

"Be nice." I grinned, and Sai unlocked the door, channeling chakra into the handle to open it. At my raised eyebrows he smiled guiltily. "Chakra locks?"

"Well it's your home, but it's still a prison." He explained, shrugging as he pushed the door open. "If you need any groceries just ask, since your friends will probably be visiting all the time anyway." It was strange, I realized, to hear Sai speaking so openly about friends and emotions. In many ways he was the same, but he was... well, five years older now.

They all were. Seeing so many of my peers in that meeting had brought it home a lot more than I'd expected. Everyone I knew was an adult now, and I'd missed it...

I turned to say goodbye to Sai, but he'd already gone. I bit back a wry grin; some things would never change.

It was only half an hour before my next visitor. A gentle knock on my door (more out of courtesy than anything else) and I turned to see Kakashi standing on the porch, an ANBU holding the door open. Kakashi looked at me pointedly. "Can I come in?"

The ANBU sighed and I struggled against the warm feeling in my chest when Kakashi shot him a glare. The ANBU agent shrugged and disappeared, though I had a creeping feeling he was still within earshot.

Kakashi cleared his throat and I blinked. "You really don't have to ask." I frowned.

"Really?"

"I mean, I have no say over who comes and goes anyway." He looked away, guilty, and I sighed. "What do you want?"

"Firstly, to apologize." Kakashi said, and my eyes narrowed. "I know how harsh this sentence is on you, and I know that I'm partly to blame."

"Partly?" I choked out.

Kakashi nodded, reaching out and grasping my shoulder. "Sakura, you know you're not innocent in all of this. You were number one in the bingo book and we both know what that means." He met my eyes, stony grey and hard.

He was right. You don't get to number one without doing some of the worst things a ninja can imagine. I had given up honour, spat in the face of friendship and betrayed everyone here in some of the worst ways imaginable.

"... So yes, I'm only partly responsible. But you are too."

"What do you mean?"

"You think I've been doing nothing these past years?" Kakashi smirked, and tugged down his mask. "You forget, Sakura, that I'm a prodigy. Sasuke married not too long after you left, but for some reason he and his young wife have yet to conceive."

I stared at him, not quite recognizing the man I knew. "What...?"

Kakashi lowered his voice. "I might not go about things the upfront way you and Naruto prefer, but I can get vengeance quite satisfactorily."

I didn't quite understand what he'd done, but I had the feeling that I really didn't want to know exactly; I had enough clues. I backed away and sat down heavily on one of the armchairs, leaning on my knees.

Kakashi tucked his hands into his pockets and waited patiently.

It took me a while to speak. "Why?"

"What he did was unforgivable, Sakura. I might be able to work with him on a professional level... even if it is just barely... but he won't go unpunished."

"I thought you didn't believe me. I thought you didn't care." I hated those words, how weak they sounded, but they needed saying. We needed to clear the air.

"Don't be stupid, Sakura. I'm not good at showing how I feel, but even I'm not that cold." He crossed the room to stand closer to me. "What Sasuke wants more than anything is an heir, and that is something he'll never have."

I thought for a moment, processing what Kakashi had said. "Unless..." I choked up, eyes widening at the implications of those words. "Unless he knows."

"What?"

"Maybe he knows someone has made it so that he can't have anymore children. Maybe he knows I had a child after leaving Konoha..." I trailed off, pleading with Kakashi through my eyes.

_Please understand._

"... and he thinks Hanako is his child." Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "But there's no way he could escape ANBU's watch. He's under as much surveillance as you are."

"This is _Sasuke_we're talking about." I hissed. "He evaded ANBU for years. He could have Hanako! She could be right here, in Konoha..." Kakashi took me by the shoulders, shoulders slouched.

I met his eyes, and my breath hitched; he looked so pained.

"Kakashi... do you... not want to find Hanako?" I whispered, and Kakashi's eyes narrowed.

"Is that what you think?"

The room seemed to spin a little, and Kakashi's hands on my shoulders tightened. "I don't know. You don't seem to mind if she's here or not. You don't seem like a father."

"Because I'm not, Sakura." Kakashi growled. "You have to understand how this is for me. My family is you, Naruto, even Sai and Sasuke. For me, family is a word that applies to people who you have forged those bonds with. Hanako is a little girl with my DNA, but if she saw me in the street she wouldn't think any more of me than any other man. To me, she is a little girl who needs my help, and who is your daughter." He took a deep breath. "I wasn't given the chance to be her father."

He didn't say it to accuse, but I felt the need to defend myself. "I didn't do it deliberately!"

"I know." He said, and smiled sadly. "But it was done, and you need to understand that I can't feel the love for her that you do."

I sighed. "You're too reasonable." I eyed his attire properly for the first time since he'd arrived at the house. "What are you wearing?"

He looked down at himself, apparently confused. "My... uniform?"

"It's ANBU."

"Well... yeah."

I frowned; sometimes a conversation with this man was about as progressive as using your head to bash a hole through a wall... Although I suppose that isn't impossible. "So, you're on duty?" That, for some reason, irritated me. "You're on guard?"

"Nope, just finished." Kakashi said blithely, either not noticing, or pretending not to notice my rising irritation. "I brought you a present."

"Don't think that will get you out of trouble."

"Won't it?" He smirked and produced a thick brown manila folder, tossing it lightly into my hands. Confused, I glanced at him warily but he simply watched me lazily.

Then the name on the front made my breath catch. "Is this allowed?" When he didn't respond, I tore it open, my eyes devouring every last word inside the folder. "How did you _get_this?" Inside was all the information amassed so far on Hanako's disappearance, including a witness report from Kakashi himself.

They were slowly working their way through possible rival villages, as well as any criminal groups in the area at the time. I couldn't believe how much had been done already...

"Tsunade and Naruto have been working hard with Shikamaru, and Sai has been doing some snooping within the village, though he thinks I don't know about it." A warm feeling swelled in my chest, tears threatening to burst forth. Kakashi moved to kneel before me, taking my hands in his. "Everyone is working hard."

At those words, my shoulders began to tremble and I closed my eyes, reaching for him. Kakashi's arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close, stroking my back. "I thought..." He shushed me gently, cradling me against his chest. "Thank you Kakashi."

And after that, it was almost like it had been before. We looked over the information together, and discussed ideas as though it was a mission we were sharing. Kakashi made us dinner and we ate together, and I felt... worryingly relaxed. In his company it was easy to melt back into 'us'.

That... was a horrifyingly tempting prospect.

.

Frustrated, Naruto sat twitching on the bench, glaring at the empty space in front of him. No longer dressed in uniform, he wore his comfy orange and black jacket and trousers, but the scowl on his face was anything but his usual.

Beside him, Sai lounged back with his arms slung over the back of the bench, watching the same empty space with a much milder, though less expressive face. "Did you hear me, Naruto?"

"...Yeah." He chewed his lip. "But it's still annoying. I really thought we'd find it was either Sasuke-teme or the council." He scowled darkly. "I want to beat the shit out of him."

"You've done that numerous times already. I don't think it will really help any more this time."

"Shut up Sai." Naruto blew a loud, frustrated raspberry. "I just want to do something _more_, you know?" He stood up and kicked at the dusty pavement. "There has to be something else we can do."

Sai smiled. "Well actually there is something Shikamaru wants Ino to do, so you could come with us on the mission?"

Naruto turned to stare at Sai, agape. "And you didn't mention anything until _now_?"

Sobering slightly, Sai nodded. "The drawback would be that it leaves Sakura without three of her closest allies, right near the snake's nest."

Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "Well... there isn't just one of me, you know?"

.

Sasuke grunted heavily as he sat down at the table, his wife dutifully went about placing his plate before him and he picked up his chopsticks without a glance in her direction. When she sat opposite him, he noticed the dark stains on her arm and frowned.

"You made a mess."

Embarrassed, she tugged down her rolled up sleeves to hide the marks on her arms. "Well I've never done that before. I couldn't help it. I'm the only one who got stained though." She smiled tiredly. "Miku, show your father."

Sasuke turned to look at the small child beside him for the first time. Her head was kept firmly down. Sasuke reached out and took hold of her chin, lifting it so that he could inspect her face. "Very good." He agreed, and his wife grinned. "You look very good Miku." He offered a tight smile, but the girl scowled at him.

"I want my mum." She said quietly, but firmly. "And that's not my name."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry Miku, but your other mother did something very bad. She was a thief, and now she's in jail. I've been looking for you for a very long time, and everything I'm doing is for your protection, so no one takes you away." It was a lot to say at once, but his tone was firm enough that Miku knew she was being told off, and looked down guiltily.

After a brief hesitation, Sasuke laid a hand on the top of her head, and ruffled her hair gently. Across the table, his wife pushed Miku's plate a bit closer to her. "Eat up, Miku-chan. You need to eat to be a strong ninja like your father."

Something in Miku's eyes sparked, and she looked up disbelievingly. "You're a ninja?"

"We both are, darling." Sasuke's wife smiled. "Now hurry up and eat before it gets cold."

After a moment of thought, Miku frowned. "Why do I have to sleep in the cellar? It's cold down there."

"I told you." Sasuke's wife's voice went a little higher, and her eyes widened. "It's only until we're sure you're safe."

"Yes." Sasuke said sharply. "No one's taking you away again. You belong with me."

.

**Well, at least WE know who the bad guy is! Sorry this chapters a tad short and maybe boring, but my mind is all over the place at the moment with teh sickness. By the way, I'm a bit worried I'm making Kakashi seem a bit of a baddie... he's meant to be a bit of a douche but that's cause he is anyway. He's not going to suddenly bond and get all fired up about a child he didn't know existed because he's not Maito Gai.**

**Hope you don't all hate me, and that you're bearing with me!**


	10. The Child in the Cellar

**Sorry it's been so long! It's my final year of University so things are a bit... um... awful at the moment! Haha Standard Disclaimer applies, and I hope this chapter makes up for the wait after that horrible cliffhanger!**

.

_After a moment of thought, Miku frowned. "Why do I have to sleep in the cellar? It's cold down there."_

"_I told you." Sasuke's wife's voice went a little higher, and her eyes widened. "It's only until we're sure you're safe."_

"_Yes." Sasuke said sharply. "No one's taking you away again. You belong with me."_

.

After much deliberation, Naruto had come to the conclusion that he was needed more in Konoha than gallivanting around the countryside with Sai and Ino. This also meant that they had a handy babysitter for the two children should Ino's mother get bored/tired/die. This, Ino realized as they checked into the onsen, meant that this was the first time she and her husband had had a chance to be alone together in four years.

The elderly woman at the desk seemed quite hassled as she ushered the couple to room 7, and apologized profusely as she realised that the sheets hadn't yet been changed. She had briefly introduced herself as Taniyama-san, which matched Sakura's testimony.

"I'm so sorry." Taniyama fussed, and escorted the two into a public dining room. "My employee has... left recently and it's proving difficult to keep things up to standard when it's just myself and my maid..." Sai smirked as Ino's eyes turned slightly unfocused, indicating that she was poking about in the old woman's head a little, just grazing over the surface thoughts.

"She left? Without saying anything?" Sai asked, perfectly feigning 'mildly curious' as he looked around critically. "How rude. Honestly, some people today..."

Taniyama's shoulders tensed. "Well, there is some possibility that she... didn't leave of her own free will. Ayaka would never be so disrespectful as to leave me and the onsen in the lurch. I have faith in that."

"Hm." Sai's eyes narrowed, pausing at the wall of photos showing the onsen throughout the ages. "Is she on here?"

"Yes." Taniyama said warily, and continued on. Sai leaned in to see the picture showing Sakura and Taniyama standing outside the onsen. As Sakura had said, the photo had been bleached slightly and her vivid pink hair looked almost blonde.

So too did that of the little girl peeking out with a cheeky grin from behind Sakura. Fascinated, Sai focused on the face of the girl. Though the colours faded, he could clearly see the pretty little girl that Sakura and Kakashi had described so carefully.

It was funny, Sai realized, that although he knew the evidence off by heart, he'd never really felt that Hanako was a real person. Talking about a missing child was all very well and good, but he'd not put much thought into the life she'd had, or the way she saw the world. It was almost as if until this moment, looking into the eyes of the faded, mischievous child, he'd not really know she existed.

He was overwhelmed by a longing to see the girl safe back in her mother's arms.

What sort of people had her now? Were they mistreating her? Abusing her? Had she been taken to be raised as the perfect weapon like Sai had been?

Sai raised his eyes to meet those of his wife and felt his chest tighten. Their children were in safe hands, he reminded himself. No one could get to them in Konoha. Yoshio and Makino were with Ino's father.

They were safe.

"Sa- Sosuke?" Ino asked, carefully putting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Later." He said in a voice too low to Taniyama to hear. "I think I just need to rest." He said louder, and Taniyama busied them into their room which thanks to a little suggestion from Ino, was room 7; the very room Kakashi had stayed in on his 'holiday'.

"My husband has a health problem." Ino explained. "We thought a trip to the onsen would soothe his nerves."

Taniyama was all aflutter. "Oh yes of course. Our waters are some of the best in Suna, and the village is in a wonderful location to enjoy the country..." Uninterested, Sai tuned out as Ino nodded emphatically and made appropriate responses to the elderly woman's chatter. Sai carried their cases into the room and looked around with interest.

As one of only two rooms with private outdoor bath, the room was relatively large, and lavishly furnished. The quilting was soft, and there was a traditionally screened separate dining area. He sauntered out to the bath and looked up at the windows of the flat above the bath house. Through one of the windows he could see the arch of the kitchen sink's tap, and chills ran up his spine.

Here was where a young girl was taken from her family. This is where Kakashi and Sakura sat and saw the figure of the ninja who kidnapped their daughter.

After a moment, Ino joined him, carrying the small dog carry-case that held Pakkun. From behind the bars, the tiny dog glared sulkily out at Sai, who fought back a smile. "As I said to Kakashi, I'm not confident that even my nose will be able to track the intruder. It's been a while."

"Only two weeks." Sai argued, and pointed up to the window. "Ino, I think we should use the window as an entry point, since Taniyama thinks we're resting." Nodding, Ino let Pakkun out and smirked as she picked him up, easily climbing the walls with the use of chakra control, and Sai followed close behind.

The first thing that was obvious, to Sai, was that the flat had been searched, numerous times. Ino looked around the place with a slight upturn of her nose, but was silent as she took in the opened, searched drawers and the moved furniture, leaving patches of lighter carpet where things had been for years before being so unceremoniously moved out of place. Sai ran a comforting hand over Ino's back, and she reached to take his hand. They stood together, solid against the onslaught of their friend's other life.

Photos had been removed from frames, but children's toys were strewn across the floor at random, and Sai's heart skipped a beat upon seeing a few toys that his children also owned. As Ino gripped his hand tighter, he knew she'd seen them too.

"When we get back home..." Ino whispered. "I'm not letting our children out of my sight ever again."

Resisting the urge to dispassionately point out that she was being ridiculous, Sai simply squeezed his wife's hand.

Pakkun, meanwhile, growled. "Someone's here."

Without another word, weapons were readied, and both ninjas were ready for battle as the doorway to the bedroom was shadowed by the figure of a young girl. She had dark, jet black hair that was cropped close to brush her jawline, and cool, violet eyes. She was dressed in a low quality kimono, but carried herself like royalty.

Rather than quail at the sight of the two warriors, the girl barely reacted at all as her eyes flicked over the two. "So." She said snippily. "Are you the idiots who trashed this place? Or are you the idiots who took the girl?"

.

The morning light filtered through my new lace curtains as I lay across the sofa of my new prison. In the past few days I'd had several visitors, some curious acquaintances who I barely knew, and were turned away at the door, and some former friends.

Sasuke's wife had dropped by with a home baked cake the day before, and with an icy smile I'd taken the cake and shut the door in her face. After a moment's debate, I'd dropped the cake into the bin to Kakashi's great amusement.

Today was the last day of peace I would be given before my enforced community service began. The clinic adjoining my house bad been built, and I could hear medic nin next door stocking the cupboards and checking the equipment.

Apparently, there was almost no volunteers to help me manage the clinic, and so Tsunade had introduced a mandatory rota for trainee medics at the hospital, so that each trainee would have to complete a fortnight's training under me at my clinic. I was sure they'd all be delighted to be working with a criminal. Just peachy.

Hinata was visiting today, and I mulled over whether letting her in was a good idea; after all, given my history with Naruto I must be the last person she wanted to know... and we'd never been what you'd call friends even when we were on the same side.

I'd seen what the Hyuuga could do in battle, and I wasn't sure I wanted to be on the receiving end of her_ gentle fist_.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I watched as the leaves on the trees outside my prison cast a floating sea of tiny shadows dancing across my floorboards. Dust whirled gently in the early morning light, and I lazily lifted a finger to trail a wake of disturbance in the air.

Damn it, I'd never have this peace if Hanako was with me.

I allowed myself a small indulgent daydream, seeing Hanako climb over the arm of the sofa to crawl up my body and settle herself against my chest, reaching out to play with my hair, pink as hers, and chatter cheerfully about what had happened at nursery school, and how easy it had been to swipe an extra biscuit during break time.

I pictured Kakashi entering through the door, weary after a mission away, and pulling off his mask to smile at his child, reaching out as Hanako nearly winded me in her energetic jump off me to run to hug her father. Kakashi picked her up and kissed her on the forehead, lifting a hand to cup the back of her head as she burrowed into his neck, arms wrapped tightly- too tight- around him.

I blinked as a tear ran down my cheek and sighed when I saw Kakashi standing alone in the open door, dressed in his uniform.

"Finished your shift?" I asked tiredly, and sat up, rubbing my cheek dry. Kakashi watched me, an expression of utter helplessness painted on that narrow face of his. Wordlessly he closed the door and came to sit beside me, pulling me against him. Inhaling sharply, I closed my eyes and turned, burrowing my face into his neck as I had imagined Hanako doing, wrapping my arms tightly- too tight- around him.

"Oh, Sakura." Kakashi breathed, and adjusted himself so that I was sat in his lap. For once he was doing exactly the right thing to comfort me, and I willed this moment to last, for us to stay together, giving each other what we needed. I could feel the tension in him, and he held on to me just as tightly as I held him. "I wish..." But he couldn't seem to finish his sentence, and I understood, for the first time since he'd tried to explain to me, exactly what he was feeling.

He wished I had never left.

He wished I could be happy.

He wished Hanako was here.

He wished he was a father.

He wished he was a husband.

He wished Sasuke dead.

And although he couldn't show it, I knew his feelings. I knew his wishes well enough. So I said all that I could, I told him I missed him, and I told him I loved him, and I kissed him.

.

Kakashi left as soon as we sensed Hinata's approach; if Hinata wanted to hash it out then the least I could do was give her the dignity of doing it in private, and if she just wanted to check up on me, it would be rude on my part to have a bodyguard present... as though the ANBU weren't suffocating enough.

As the girlfriend of my former teammate sat in my tiny house, I briefly entertained the thought of asking her what her intentions were, but such thoughts were quickly quashed as I realized I was really in no position to be interrogating anyone.

So the two of us simply sat, looking at our knees.

"You have a beautiful home." Hinata tried, and I looked around quickly, not quite understanding where she'd summoned that thought from. Realizing what I was thinking, Hinata flushed. "Well... it's better than the alternative."

"I understand some strings were pulled." I said dispassionately. "Misplaced faith in me, perhaps, but I'm grateful."

Hinata swallowed. "Naruto hasn't stopped talking about it. His... faith in you hasn't wavered apparently, not once."

"I got a different impression."

"Well you'd be wrong." Hinata said, and I was more than a bit taken aback by her tone. She had never sounded so sure of herself before. "You know how he feels about you. Naruto is not the sort of man who can lose such feelings with any kind of ease. Like what happened with Sasuke..."

Unease pricked up my back. "Sasuke wasn't gone as long as I was... and even so he has hardly proven himself worthy of such love." In fact he'd done everything he could to turn them against him.

Hinata nodded. "Do you know why I'm here?"

"To tell me to back off." I said firmly, standing up and walking to the window and opening it. Immediately, an ANBU agent appeared in front of me.

"Do you need something?" She asked, and my mind flicked through several possibilities as to who it would be, but her tone was icy, flat. Hinata stood, uneasy.

"I was simply opening the window." I said, flatly. "For some air."

"I'll have your ventilation system adjusted." The ANBU agent said, and I stood back as she closed my window for me.

Hinata and I stood in silence for a moment, until I turned to partially face her, keeping my body facing away. "I have never encouraged Naruto. Never. But if he visits me I will not turn him away. I have few friends left to me, and as you can see there is no chance of me having a change of scenery other than different visitors. I love Naruto, I do, but I would never do that to you or him."

Hinata flinched. "You love him... as a friend?"

I thought about it. "No. Before everything else he was the only person I could ever truly count on. I suppose I loved him the most in the world... but." I met her eyes, hoping she could feel the truth of my words. "I am dark, and I am cruel. I would never have deserved him, and I could never live happily ever after with him because that would always be there. I could never match him, and that would kill me."

Hinata closed her eyes. "It feels like you two are legendary lovers or something. The sort of couple epic stories should be written about. How can I compete with that?"

I grimaced. "I also love Kakashi. Despite everything."

Hinata looked down, and finally said "I suppose I should be grateful that you've told me the truth." she tucked some hair behind her ear and I saw just how beautiful she had become. She had always been pretty but now she was more refined, a perfect fit for the title of clan leader.

"Sakura." Sai's voice came from the newly formed door to the side of my living room. The new clinic. "You're needed."

I held up a finger to Hinata and stood, smoothing my simple black yukata before walking into the clinic.

Inside, I found a rapidly bleeding ANBU agent laid on the examination table. I tied an apron around myself and disinfected my hands, glancing to Sai sharply. "What happened?"

Sai replied. "Poisoned blade."

"Do you have a sample of the poison?" I asked, already getting to work removing it from the agent's system. The agent nodded and pointed out one of the bottles on my shelf. I looked up and frowned. "Are you sure?"

Sai shifted awkwardly. "Training got a little bit more brutal than normal."

"Of course it did." I sighed. "At least that makes my job a lot easier." One of the more commonly used Konoha poisons, I had an antidote immediately on hand.

With the agent cleaned up and cured, I watched as he removed his mask and raised my eyebrows at Naruto pointedly. "Uh... sorry for the inconvenience Sakura-chan."

I shook my head. "I have half a mind to tell Hinata-chan that you've been playing with poison, see what she thinks." Naruto's face blanched and I smirked, feeling a little bit more satisfied at the blatant dismay on my former teammate's face. "That's what I thought. Be more careful Naruto; a lot of people would be let down if you decided to die before becoming Hokage." I packed away the last of the dressing as Kakashi appeared in the entrance hall, casually waving the hand that wasn't crushed.

"Yo."

My eyebrow twitched, and I crossed my arms. "And just how did that happen?"

"Sparring. Oh hi, Naruto. Feeling better?"

Naruto flexed with a lazy smile. "Of course. How was your chat with Sasuke?"

Kakashi lifted his hand. "Apparently I'm not allowed in his house. He should have a sign out front or something really." He chuckled. "You should see the decor. Horrific."

I really didn't want to ask. "And why were you at Sasuke's house?"

"Tsunade wanted him to hand in some late reports." Kakashi blinked innocently. "And when I told him that, he broke my hand."

I walked over to him with a smile. "And if you broke into his house you probably deserved it." Sai chuckled behind me and Kakashi held out his hand for me to look at with a wink. My conversation with Hinata still fresh in my mind, I stood up on tiptoe and kissed him lightly through his mask. His eyebrows raised and behind me, I heard Naruto cough awkwardly. I slid my hand down his arm with a sweet smile before applying pressure to the broken bones.

Credit to Kakashi, he only cringed with a gasp. "Okay. I get it." He rasped. "I won't do it again."

"Good." I said, still smiling sweetly. "Now lets fix that hand of yours."

.

Yamanaka Makino was confused. She'd been playing with Yoshio at hide and seek, but he'd hidden too well, and now she was lost. None of these buildings were like those she lived in, and all the people around her seemed to be sick.

Oh! over there! A house! Makino rushed forward quickly and began searching through the bushes, still searching for her older brother. "Yoshioooo!" She called, twisting fine blonde hair around a pudgy forefinger. "Are you therrrrreeeee?"

"Who are you?" A voice called, and Makino paused, big dark eyes swinging to look at the face in the window. The window was obviously a basement window, and Makino fell to her hands and knees to crawl closer. The face had big green eyes, and although the hair was dark, some soft pink strands fell over the face, almost as though they'd come out from under a hat.

Makino pressed her face against the glass. There was a hole in the window, and she moved so that her mouth was close to it. "Yamama Makeeno."

Pink eyebrows creased, and the green eyes flickered down. "I think I'm Miku. But my Mummy... my other mummy that is..." Makino had long since stopped listening, and she poked a little woodlouse lazily.

"Why you in hole?"

"I'm not in a hole." Miku pouted indignantly. "I'm in a house! My room is just in the cellar, that's all. Are you an idiot?"

Makino scowled. "Ideeot. Don't like you. You're nasty." She slowly stood and turned to waddle away when the girl behind her spoke again.

"How old are you?"

Makino turned and stared at Miku thoughtfully. "Two."

"I'm four." Miku smiled. "Will you come back?"

"No." Makino scowled. "Lost."

"Makino!" She turned to beam happily at Yoshio, who was running towards her. He scowled as he drew close, and pushed her down. "You ran away! Mummy said to watch you!" Makino began to keen frantically, rolling onto her side and wailing in protest as her brother caught sight of the girl in the window. "What do you want?"

"Nothing." Miku said, and then paused. "You shouldn't push smaller children. Daisuke said it was bullying."

Yoshio folded his arms and sat himself in front of the window, completely ignoring the angry bawling of his baby sister. "S'not bullying. Makino's a brat."

Miku glanced at the smaller girl and sighed. "Still... Hey, I'm Miku. Sort of. What's your name?"

Yoshio knelt closer and pushed a finger through the hole in the glass. "I'm Yamanaka Yoshio. Is Miku your family name?"

Miku shrugged. "Maybe. Don't think so. They've not told me my family name yet." She smirked, eyes glinting dangerously. "You know I used to be called something else? And before that I had a different family name."

"Don't be stupid." Yoshio said, looking up archly. "You can only have one."

"No. I've had six." Miku urged. "But I've only had two name-names." She glanced behind her, furtively. "I used to be called Hanako. That's a much better name but my new parents don't like it."

"What are you kids doing?" Yoshio looked up to see a young woman stood at the front door of the house. "Get out of here!"

Yoshio glanced back at the window, but Miku... or Hanako had already gone. Scared, he grabbed a still whingeing Makino and ran. When he looked back, the woman was already gone.

As he lay in bed that night, Yoshio found himself thinking of the girl, and thought of how lonely she looked. He thought of the woman- was she Hanako's mum? She didn't seem anywhere near as nice as _his _mum.

Maybe Hanako needed a friend.

Maybe he should visit again tomorrow.

.

The next time Sai visited my house, he brought Ino and Makino along with him. Kakashi had make himself something of a permanent fixture in my house, and he made up the tea as I sat on the sofa with Ino. Ino and I chatted about small, inconsequential things such as how Kazuya, the handsome young diplomat from the west, was rumoured to be trying to buy a property in Konoha.

"Apparently he's taken in an orphan child and wants to raise her in relative safety, so a ninja village is a natural choice. Konoha was probably chosen more for climate than anything."

"You think so?" Kakashi asked. "I've heard Kazuya-san has been keeping an eye on things for a long time. He used to sit in on meetings with his father, before he came of age. By all accounts the man is a loner, but a genius nonetheless."

Sai smirked, eyeing Kakashi pointedly. "Sounds familiar."

"Where did he get the child?" I asked, and the three adults paused, thoughtfully.

In the silence, Makino crawled onto the floor and began investigating the unfamiliar surroundings. It was Sai who first spoke. "I'm not actually sure." He murmured, and looked to his wife.

"I heard a family friend had died and he took her in out of kindness. But of course there's always a possibility that it could be Hanako." Wide violet eyes faded, thoughtfully. "Well I'd been meaning to find a way of introducing myself to the gentleman anyway..."

Sai's eyes hardened a fraction, and I didn't miss it. "Oh were you?" The voice was dispassionate, and Ino flashed me a secretive smile. It was so familiar, so sweet, that I couldn't help smiling back. Kakashi's eyebrow raised.

Somehow, without my noticing, Makino had climbed up onto the sofa next to me, and I started at the feel of tiny hands weaving through my hair. Conversation and theorizing continued around me as I met the little girl's eyes. She looked so like her mother, but with big dark eyes, much like Sai's. She had all the quiet self assuredness of a child that was raised in a house of love and comfort. She was free to be shy and precocious as her mood suited, and she was looking at me very carefully.

"Hair." She said simply, and stroked my long pink tresses reverently. I watched her, breathless, as she frowned, brow furrowed. "Miku nasty."

My breath returned, and I smiled indulgently at the girl's nonsense. "Is Miku a friend of yours?"

She thought about it. "No. Yoshio's."

I patted her on the head and tuned back into the adult's conversation. Apparently giving up on me, Makino sighed and pottered off on her short chubby legs.

"If there's a chance it could be Hanako I'd appreciate the help." I sighed, and having served the tea, Kakashi sat beside me, placing a protective hand on my shoulder. "I know Shishou's forces are doing their best but I feel better being kept in the loop."

"I'm sorry I can't help more." Kakashi said, voice soft, and I nodded, placing a hand over his on my shoulder.

"You're a part of the official investigation. It's reasonable that a convicted traitor can't be informed of village practices." I glanced up at him. "Do your best."

"You too." He smiled.

Sai cleared his throat, and I turned to see Makino crawling onto his lap. "I will drop by Kazuya-san's house this evening." He offered, shooting his wife a meaningful look. "I, at least, will not need to worry about being tricked by good looks."

Ino pouted, crossing her arms and tossing her hair. "Well excuse me for being able to appreciate the male form. I don't recall it being a problem before."

Sai's mouth widened in a cold, emotionless smile that sent shivers down my spine. "There is no problem. I understand that women of a certain age often feel the need to observe and covet young men of a pleasant appearance even though they have no chance of ever being with these men. I think it's quite interesting that you're displaying such perverted behaviour. Perhaps your menopause..."

He never finished his sentence as Ino quickly launched herself across the room and slapped a hand over his mouth. Apparently unconcerned by her parents behaviour, Makino turned a half hearted glare on me. Ino forced a grimace on her face and turned to glare at Kakashi and I.

"It seems we have stayed longer than expected. My dear, _darling _husband and I must leave. I apologise for any inconvenience."

"Not at all." I said, watching wide eyed as a sullen Sai was marched from my house by Ino and Makino, each taking one of his hands. With the front door closed I heaved a sympathetic sigh. "Sai seems quite outnumbered. I hope Yoshio's personality is strong enough to even the playing field."

Kakashi stood, stretching like a cat. "I for one hope that you and Hanako don't team up on me like that. There's only so much beating an old man can take." He didn't turn back to me as he collected the untouched teacups and proceeded to the kitchenette, but I felt a curiously full feeling in my chest at his words.

It wasn't the words themselves, but the offer that lay behind them.

"Kakashi..." I began. "I think we need to talk." He turned to look at me with lowered eyebrows, and I got the distinct feeling that he'd deliberately turned the conversation this way. "We need to talk about what's going to happen when my house arrest is lifted."


	11. Separated

__**Hi guys, a compartatively short one this time but I felt it had to end where it does :) I'm almost done with uni now so will be able to update about once a week soon hopefully!**

.

_"Kakashi..." I began. "I think we need to talk." He turned to look at me with lowered eyebrows, and I got the distinct feeling that he'd deliberate,y turned the conversation this way. "We need to talk about what's going to happen when my house arrest is lifted."_

.

Naruto scowled darkly, head down and shoulders hunched in the corner of Tsunade's office. At the desk, the Hokage spared him a glance before returning to her mission requests. The weather had turned chilly recently, and the sun that lit the office was amber with the season.

"Granny it's just taking so _long_ to get everything done! How can you stand it?" The ANBU elite pouted, rolling onto his side, curled into the foetal position on the floor.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "These things can take time." Tsunade signed her name. "We can't spare the manpower to search all of the ninja nations at once, no matter how much personal interest we have in the situation." She frowned to herself as Naruto got up -again- and went to check Sakura's house from the window. "I swear the carpet over there will be worn to the floorboards soon enough."

Naruto simply turned imploring puppy dog eyes on her. Frustrated, Tsunade tapped her pen on the desk.

"Tsunade-sama." Shizune called softly from the doorway. "Kazuya-sama to see you about the citizen papers for Mai." Naruto's head perked up instantly, and Tsunade nodded to Shizune. As the door closed behind the assistant Tsunade turned sharp blue eyes on Naruto.

"Not a word."

"But Ino said..."

"I don't care what Ino said." Tsunade's voice was cold with authority. "Ino doesn't know exactly what Hanako looks like and neither do you. The only people who do know are Sakura, who is considered an unreliable source, and Kakashi, who is out of the country investigating other areas of interest right now."

It had only been a few weeks ago that Kakashi had come to her office, face pale, asking for a long term mission. Tsunade hadn't asked, and when she had visited Sakura the girl had been overly cheerful and hospitable. If Tsunade knew anything about her former student, it was that an overly cheerful Sakura was only ever the calm before the storm.

Naruto was stood upright and formal in a flash as the door opened to reveal a young, dark haired man in a dark suit. Beside him was a young girl of about twelve, with big dark eyes and a wide forehead.

Naruto went stiff as the girl clung to Kazuya's sleeve, and the two young men shared a glare. Tsunade simply held out her hand, and Kazuya presented the scroll to her. "You say the girl is from.."

"Tsunade-sama." Sai said, entering the office. He glanced to Kazuya briefly and bowed, then did the same to the girl. "Pakkun has tracked the intruder from the Taniyama hot spring and has sent news."

Tsunade nodded to Kazuya by way of apology, and turned to Naruto. "Naruto, could you deal with the adoption papers while I see to this?" In an undertone, she muttered "And please be professional." before sweeping past.

Once in the corridor, she smirked at Sai. "I'd wondered how you were getting on. You and Ino have been leading quite the double lives recently."

Sai bowed. "I apologise, Ino felt it important to visit Sakura before reporting in. Kiba's team rendezvoused with Pakkun when we came across them on their journey from the North."

Tsunade nodded, opening the door to one of the smaller offices. "And the men you found at the resort?"

"Actually, it was just one person, a woman. Well, a girl. She claims to be a friend of Kakashi's, but Pakkun said he'd never seen her before."

"You didn't capture her at the time?"

Sai bowed. "She got away."

Tsunade's deep frown made the pale young man gulp hard. "Sai, you know the reason I let you take that mission was because I trusted that you two would be capable..."

"It was unexpected." Sai said softly. "She knew our names, she knew our abilities, and she knew about Hanako, however it seemed as though she was searching for something, rather than covering her tracks. Interestingly enough, it seemed she knew very little of Sakura herself."

Tsunade bit her thumb, deep in thought. "Perhaps it's worth interrogating Kakashi further. You say Pakkun tracked her scent? Where did she go?"

Sai's face grew sombre. "That's the worry. She was tracked to Suna, and then towards Konoha, but her scent disappeared halfway."

"Is Pakkun that reliable? This is the second time he's lost the scent of a girl near Konoha, and please don't make excuses. This one can't be pregnant as well."

"Well she could be." Sai pointed out, but Tsunade's glare forced him to avert his eyes. "You're right. It's inexcusable. I apologise."

"Don't waste your breath." Tsunade snapped. "Send an ink bird to Kakashi. Tell him that he must return as soon as possible." She nodded to herself. "Kiba's team will meet up with Hinata and her students, then they can continue the search for Hanako _outside _of the village."

"And inside of the village?"

"You let me worry about that."

.

In all honesty, Tenten had never really considered Sakura as a friend, or even a particularly nice person; Tenten was a woman who prided herself on honesty and dedication, and she had never had much to do with the pink haired girl when they were younger. Her first impressions of Sakura were that she was vain and stupid, and although those traits disappeared as she grew older, the girl had no qualms about lying to Naruto to trick him out of chasing Sasuke, and she'd even shacked up with her former teacher.

No, in all honesty, Sakura had never seemed the straightforward kind of girl Tenten respected, and in Tenten's opinion she had become a ninja for the wrong reasons entirely.

So being asked to visit Sakura to check up on the progress of the clinic was a little inconvenient, even though Tenten would never dream of revealing it to the woman herself.

So she observed Sakura's work as asked, and discussed various poisons and antidotes as she wished, and when Sakura offered her tea and lunch, Tenten had no reason to refuse.

And this was how, on the day that the Autumn leaves started falling, the weapons mistress was sat eating lunch with the gloomy looking medic. Sakura had not changed out of her medic's tunic, and had simply kept her hair back with a plain white headband.

Tenten had little to say beyond a comment on the weather, and Sakura seemed more disposed to be silent herself.

"I hear that Kakashi-sensei should be returning soon enough."

Sakura said nothing.

"Though his mission was meant to be long term, it seems the search for Hanako requires him to be on hand for a while instead." That got a reaction, and Tenten frowned as Sakura's eye snapped to hers startled.

"There's progress?"

Tenten bowed in apology. "I'm afraid I'm not privy to details."

They fell silent again, and Sakura seemed to deflate. Wary, Tenten looked away. In truth, she still had doubts that there _was _a child, or if there was, that it was even Kakashi's. Quickly chastising herself for thinking such dark things, Tenten began clearing away the plates.

"There's no need..." Sakura began, snapping to attention again, but Tenten silenced her with a smile.

"It's no problem, Sakura-san. I didn't mean to upset you, so this is an apology."

Sakura paused, but nodded and simply crossed the room to sit at the window. "I'm sorry that you feel uncomfortable here, Tenten. I'm just finding it difficult to be a good hostess at the moment." She sighed, heavily, and Tenten found herself watching the young woman with keen eyes, analyzing each sigh and crease of the brow. "I wish I had more of a view than the Tower walls."

"That's..."

"I know." Sakura cast a sad smile in Tenten's direction. "I'm a criminal, so it's impossible."

The guilty feeling in Tenten's chest only worsened as the day went on.

.

I knew, I just _knew _that I shouldn't be behaving like this. Tenten had never done anything to me and here I was making things awkward for her while she was under orders. I was despicable, holding onto the silence this way.

First Hinata, now Tenten... it seemed as if I was determined to make all the women around me feel awkward in my presence. Maybe I should complain about being without my child in front of Ino some more, so that she felt guilty for having her two so happy and healthy.

I bit my thumb absent mindedly, watching from my window as a couple of village children played on the grass by the Hokage tower. The children played further and further away from my house with each day, warned away from the "criminal's house" by their parents and other passing, law-abiding ninja.

It made sense, and I appreciated that. It was the same as how I'd been warned away from Naruto as a child; too young to know better, I'd done as I was told out of respect for my elders.

It was understandable.

It wasn't done out of spite.

It was expected.

It still hurt, though. I watched as a young girl was escorted from the Hokage tower by a young man with dark hair, his hand on her shoulder, pushing her gently onwards. Though she looked over at the children around her, she was urged onwards without choice.

She was older than Hanako would be, but the two still stirred that all too familiar feeling of jealousy. If my child was gone, if my child was in danger, what right did these people have to parade their happy, healthy children around in front of me? It made me sick.

The loneliness was the worst; living with Taniyama and Hanako I'd never been far from an understanding ear. Even if no one knew my secrets, they were kind and trusting and I found that it didn't matter that they didn't know the 'real' Sakura because the woman I'd become was easy and fun to be.

When Kakashi had left, pale faced and determined after our 'talk', I'd curled up in a ball on the floor and cried my tiny stone heart out. Today it was still too raw, too much to watch the people I'd once trusted with my life going about their business.

The people who'd never met me before in Sand country suddenly seemed so much more like home than the people I'd grown up with. The people of Konoha knew what I'd done, knew how I'd lived before Taniyama's hot spring, and they hated me for it. Tenten, who would always try to be kind to me, was the same.

I was a criminal, and a deserter, and I'd broken my entire team apart every single bit as much as Sasuke had before me... but I was even less forgivable because the general opinion was that there was no reasoning for what I'd done.

So what if I'd lost my child? A child raised on the run would have to be every bit as bad as her mother, and besides, even if it was true about Sasuke, I'd abandoned everything Konoha stood for. I deserved it.

I needed to stop dwelling on this. It did me no good.

I generally got one social visitor a day, but no one could stay longer than an hour or so because they had lives out there.

Even Naruto, who always made that extra bit of effort with me, couldn't neglect his other responsibilities. He also had Hinata to take care of; no man should spend more time with a past crush than his girlfriend, even Naruto understood that much.

It had been Kakashi that was always around, easing some of the loneliness.

How long had I been here again?

.

"How long have you been here?" The little boy asked, back against the wall as the girl in the cellar reached out of the window, playing with the grass.

"Don't know." Miku sighed, and Yoshio passed her a fluffy white dandelion to play with. "I don't like it here. Dad and pooface aren't as nice as my mum." She glanced behind her quickly, then frowned. "Mum doesn't like me calling people names."

"Where's your mum? Why doesn't she live with your dad?"

Miku looked at him stangely, as though he'd said something totally unrelated to the conversation. "Why would dad live with my mum?"

"Well children are made when mums and dads marry each other." Yoshio said, turning to lie on his belly, facing her. "So your mum and dad must have loved each other."

Miku's face scrunched up, thinking it over. "But my mum and dad don't know each other."

"Don't they?"

"Miku!" The girl's face blanched and she disappeared from the little window. Crawling closer to the window, Yoshio looked through, curious. At the bottom of the stairs in the cellar, a tall, dark haired man stood with his arms folded, telling Miku off.

"I might need to leave for a while, but knowing that idiot wife of mine she'll probably..."

His voice faded to an indistinct mutter, but Miku's face changed, brightening slightly. He must be Miku's dad, Yoshio thought, but then his voice raised again.

"So the wig is no good anymore. We need something more permanent."

He reached down and seemed to take away all her black hair, revealing a shock of bright bubblegum pink. Then he held up two fingers, the way Yoshio's parent sometimes did when they were sparring, and Miku's bright pink hair seemed to fall away, replaced by shaggy black tresses.

"Woah." Yoshio's mouth fell open, watching as Miku held her hair out with her hands, staring at it in horror. Miku's dad looked up at the sound of Yoshio's voice.

His eyes were _red._ How could they be red?

Yoshio jumped up, driven by some instinct that he didn't know he had, and ran home.

"Mum! Mum!" He called, desperate as he entered the door. He ran straight into his dad, who was wearing one of the Yamanaka flower shop aprons on top of his black ninja clothes.

"Yoshio?" Sai frowned as his son threw short arms around his legs and buried his face in the apron. "What's wrong?"

"Red eyes!" Yoshio said, shaking his head. "Miku's dad has red eyes and he made her hair strange!"

Sai lifted his son up, looking intently over his face. "Are you hurt?"

Yoshio shook his head, and Sai brought him into his chest, sliding one arm under Yoshio's bum to hold him stable, and the other round the back of his head, holding his distressed child close as he walked through into the kitchen.

Setting the boy down on the counter, Sai stroked his hair gently, and prepared a glass of milk. "What happened?"

"I was visiting Miku..."

"Miku?"

Yoshio nodded. "She lives in her dad's cellar." Sai's face creased, but then quickly smoothed into that neutral expression he used when he was being patient.

"Yoshio, now listen to me; this is very important..." He took a deep breath. "You have to tell me absolutely everything you know about Miku."


	12. Escape

**I can't stress enough how sorry I am that this has taken me SO LONG to finish. I'm so sorry but university is kind of a big deal when you're so close to finishing! (I got a 2:1 by the way, yay for me!) I'm in the big job hunt at the mo, so updates should be quicker, and nmmi-nut's kakasaku story "The Samurai and the Oni Girl" has generated some inspiration along with Christina Perri's song "Distance" which I have decided is my theme for Sakura's feelings for Kakashi in this story.  
><strong>

**Things have gotten so bad with me not even noticing how mean to the characters I'm being! Hope you enjoy this chapter, and can understand everyone's motivations and attitudes as much as possible. We're almost near the end! (almost... near...)  
><strong>

**Standard Disclaimer Applies!  
><strong>

.

"_I was visiting Miku..."_

"_Miku?"_

_Yoshio nodded. "She lives in her dad's cellar." Sai's face creased, but then quickly smoothed into that neutral expression he used when he was being patient._

"_Yoshio, now listen to me; this is very important..." He took a deep breath. "You have to tell me absolutely everything you know about Miku."_

.

Something was different today.

I could taste it in the air.

The clinic was typically quiet, and I sat at my window, open just a crack -all that my ANBU guards would allow- watching the chaos that engulfed the typically tranquil Hokage tower.

Normally those in a rush wouldn't bother with the doors and would head straight to Tsunade or their department, but today it seemed like the entire ANBU division were tense. I could see the uniforms of the internal affairs personnel rushing about with ANBU teams and I even saw Naruto, with his mask up on the side of his head, talking seriously with a few of the immigration officers.

He glanced over my way, but his attention was quickly directed elsewhere.

It was only when Ino showed up and began heading straight for me that I realized how much my ANBU guard had been stepped up. She had barely made it halfway across the green before she disappeared from sight behind a wall of ANBU.

Conscious that I must be being watched, I ignored the frantic expression on my best friend's face and pulled the blinds shut. With the room in shadow I turned from the window, biting my thumb, deep in thought.

It must be something big, and it must be something to do with me. That left two things that it could be.

Either it was the day of Sasuke's trial, or they'd found Hanako.

If it was the first, I needed to be there to testify... and if it was the second...

My throat closed, my heart froze, and i felt the scream bubbling up inside of me.

That was it. That had to be it.

They'd found her.

They had my daughter.

But why weren't they telling me?

The cold fear had me standing perfectly still, even as I turned over the possibilities in my head. Hanako could very well be dead, I'd known that, somewhere in the cold, logical part of my brain that had kept me away from Konoha for so long. She could have been brainwashed, or been subject to any one of the many horrors I knew of in the world.

What if she was changed beyond recognition?

What if her mind had been twisted by her captors?

Why couldn't I see my child?

I swallowed hard and walked over to the door, pulling it open as gently as I felt able. Instantly, five ANBU were around me, weapons glinting and ready. Under other circumstances their numbers would flatter me, but my mind was elsewhere.

"What's happening over there?" There was no sign of Ino now, I wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but I couldn't afford to dwell on it. "It seems busy."

"Nothing that concerns you, traitor." A young female said, and I recognised her as the ANBU that had roughed me up before my trial.

"Oh, nice to see you again." I said, a little too blithely, and she narrowed her eyes (I think) at me.

Another ANBU put a hand on the woman's shoulder, warningly, and stepped forwards. "I apologise, Miss Haruno, but we cannot tell you anything concerning the affairs of the Village, its a matter of security." He bowed his head briefly, and I smiled graciously, appreciating his manners.

"You're right of course... I was just curious."

One of the masked nin shuffled uncomfortably, and glanced to the man who I knew was the leader. I watched him as his eyes shifted back to me, and I smiled in recognition. He looked down, guiltily, then met my eyes again.

I kept my eyes on his as I nodded. "It has nothing to do with me, right? Sorry to have bothered you."

I closed the door and leant my forehead against it, closing my eyes tightly.

What the hell was I supposed to do? My house was surrounded by ANBU and my closest friends wanted me to just keep my nose clean and out of this mess. But if they'd found my child and internal affairs were involved then she was inside the village.

This meant a villager was responsible for the kidnapping of my four year old.

No, I realized with a sick feeling in my stomach. Hanako's birthday was today.

It struck me at that moment that I'd never told Kakashi when his daughter's birthday was, or what her favourite stories were. Through all of my protestations that I wanted him to love her and think of her as his daughter, I'd made little effort to help him fall in love with her as I had. I'd taken her from her father and despite my words of wanting Kakashi to feel the emotional connection to her as I had, I'd not even let him know she was alive. I could rant and rave about how there was simply no way to contact him in Konoha but we both knew that simply wasn't true; Team Kakashi had long ago created a secret code and messaging service using a technique Sai and I developed using transferrable tattoo ink that could show a message on the recipients palm for exactly ten minutes.

So why hadn't I told him? In a way it was his punishment for not believing me, and in another it was that age old argument we always seemed to come back to...

I could forgive him for his neglect as a teacher, it seemed, but I could never forget.

Angry at myself for sending him away- no, _keeping _him away (because really, wasn't that all I'd been doing since he found me? Playing games and keeping my distance...) I turned to storm into my room but was suddenly face to face with the one man I really should have expected.

"Sakura!" His hushed voice was harsh, desperate, as he clamped a familiar hand on my arm. "Come on, there isn't much time." Those brilliant blue eyes, the eyes I'd recognised behind the ANBU mask, were wide and fevered.

"Naruto! What..."

"A Clone." He said quickly, dismissively, and I briefly wondered just how many Uzumaki Naruto's wandered the world at this moment, but decided it would be safer not to ask. "Sakura, we have to hurry, _please._"

I followed him as he dragged me into the clinic with its closed blackout blinds and many shelves, as he pulled me into the darkest corner, and it was only when both his arms wrapped around my waist and his chin tucked over my shoulder (I had to close my eyes so that I wouldn't tense up and kill him on the spot) that I spoke aloud.

"You found Hanako."

.

That Hanako had been recovered, I soon discovered, was _not _actually the case. Naruto's Hiraishin took the two of us to a room I recognised only distantly, from a tour in our academy days. High, stony cielings and rough, damp walls cast long, impossibly dark shadows in the light of the single dim emergency lamp.

"Why are we in the refuge tunnels, Naruto?"

Instead of answering me, my former teammate pulled my harshly by the wrist away from the lamp, further into the cliffs that dominated and protected the hidden village of the leaves. "Hinata's fetching the others. Don't worry."

"Who has my daughter, Naruto?" And finally, at that he paused. He turned to face me, though I couldn't make out his features in this dark, I felt the turn through our now linked hands. "Do you know?"

"... No." The hesitation in his voice was barely noticeable, but even though years had passed I still knew him best. No one had that over me.

"Is it Konoha?" With a small hiss of distaste, he turned and continued tugging me onwards through the black. His palm was sweaty and hot, uncomfortable grasping my cold, tired hands which once had warmed and comforted but now only hurt.

"I wish you wouldn't say it like that. Konoha is not... you _are _Konoha, Sakura. We all are. Konoha isn't the enemy."

I remembered Kakashi's reaction, so similar, so long ago, to the same words. "Maybe it is. Maybe you are."

Again, he looked at me, but he continued walking. How could he navigate these tunnels so easily? Just how much had changed about the boy in the orange tracksuit in the years I'd been away? If two years with Jiraiya had made a nuisance into a ninja, what had the five years within the village created?

"You really think I'm the enemy?" His voice had lost some of its urgency in favour of a sadder, more lost tone. I couldn't really think of how to answer him so I remained silent. He sighed, and we turned a corner. "Sakura, whatever happens in the next twenty four hours you have to know that I-"

"There you are." Another voice had the two of us pausing mid step, waiting with bated breath as a lantern burst to life somewhere ahead of us. At the sight of so many people, I instinctively crouched, chakra flaring around my fists ready for battle.

People who- while maybe not willing to defy the _village _for me- I'd thought might at least look the other way in a situation like this stood side by side with those I knew shared no sympathy with me. Tsunade stood with a councilman I'd never met but who'd been at my trial, Kiba side by side with Neji, even the noble newcomer Kazuya with his adoptive daughter was present and- perhaps saddest of all- Ino and Sai allied with Sasuke's wife.

Weak with the fresh wounds of betrayal, I looked to Naruto. Naruto- my comrade, my lifeline, my absolutely indisputably honourable best friend.

His face was creased with sorrow as he watched me prepare to fight. "Sakura..."

Not Sakura-chan. I knew that I'd changed, and I knew that much of what I'd done was unforgivable even for the surest of friends but that was Sasuke's _wife _stood with Ino and Sai. My former mentor and the woman who'd _made me _was stood with a council member. Neji, who was so straight-laced and bound to his honour was with the reckless dog-boy who I had thought believed me.

And Naruto didn't call me Sakura-chan any more.

So I did the only thing I could bear to do. And I ran.

Naruto called after me, and I heard his voice echo behind me, around me, in my heart as I melted into the unfamiliar tunnel network that was _designed _to lose people.

Then a sudden burst of light blinded me and I couldn't move. The steady torchlight showed precisely where my shadow joined another's. With a sickening feeling tightening my chest I closed my eyes in defeat.

No one could escape Shikamaru once he had them.

I turned, stiffly and unwillingly, to face the crowd that ran to meet me.

"Sakura." Tsunade's voice rang clear and authoritative even as her eyes softened upon meeting mine. "There's something you need to hear." With a nudge from Ino, Sasuke's meek, nervous wife stepped forwards. I didn't miss the flicker of her eyes over me in that strangely critical way even as she cringed back in fear of getting too close.

She knew, then, where her husband's hand had been.

Fighting off the too-well-known nausea that threatened to remind me of an experience long since endured, the woman swallowed hard and I felt the mood shift.

Such _hostility_ in the air. Such _killing intent._ Whose was it?

"Several weeks ago, my husband brought a child to his house."

I noticed the way she said that; _his _house. Not _ours. _

Wait, what?

"What?" My voice was low, and dark. "A child?" At my tone the woman shrank back, lips tight and shaking. She shook her head and bowed to me, deep. Falling to her knees I could only hear mutters and whimpers. Desperate, I looked to Naruto again, but he was watching the woman with a twisted look of pity and disdain. "Please... _please_ tell me Sasuke doesn't have my daughter."

His eyes met mine.

"_Please _tell me he doesn't have Hanako."

.

Masako was not in the best of moods.

Since Kakashi had met her in Suna he'd been keeping her on a much tighter rein than he usually would. Under normal circumstances she was free to do as she wished so long as she had information for her adoptive father when he appeared, and if no information, then contacts who could help him when necessary.

But since he'd found his lover he'd been sending a steady stream of instructions to her via the tattoos on her palm. Currently she was crouched in the undergrowth by the only gate into Konoha, much too close to detection for any comfort to be had.

And her orders?

Look for Sasuke, look for a small child, beware of Genjutsu.

That was it.

That was _it?_

Masako was stealthy, she was good at earning trust and good at hearing things she should't, but she wasn't a social worker. She had no interest in the welfare of a kidnapped ninja child, but Kakashi had her loyalty, and she was really the only one who could do this. She _had _to be there when Sasuke came out of those gates.

When. Not if.

One of her Konoha contacts had told her of the recent revelations internal affairs were dealing with, and she had dutifully relayed the message to Kakashi through her palm but had yet to receive a reply. This meant that either he was dead -she ignored the voice in her head that started screaming in fury at the very _idea_- or too busy getting here.

Because apparently the lover had a child.

This, of course, raised a whole lot of questions for him- not all of which were entirely professional, and the feeling of jealousy that he had a child was such a surprise that she didn't know what to think of it. Her allegiance to Kakashi was a tactical thing, and the running joke of being his daughter was surely just that; a _joke_ because Masako didn't need anything but the coin, and that was what she was given.

But apparently her tummy had other ideas, because it was getting all flippy and twisty as someone stepped out under a genjutsu that would have fooled even the best.

But it didn't fool her, and that's why she was so damn good at what she did. Nothing fooled her.

Writing a quick assurance to her father, Masako took off after the Uchiha and the little girl who had the same face shape as Kakashi.

.

Kazuya, the noble with his adopted child, cleared his throat. Through a haze of crippling fury, I managed to look at him properly for perhaps the first time, and his young ward who looked a little uncomfortably familiar.

From somewhere behind the group, I also realized that Ino's two children were stepping forward, looking bravely defiant with their upturned chins.

"Haruno-san" Kazuya started, his handsome dark eyes narrow and intent. "I think this is a story best told by the children."

.

**Cliffhangers are evil, but I'll not leave you hanging long!**


	13. Journey to Oto

**A note for those who might not remember- Masako was the contact Kakashi had been maintaining in Suna, his touchstone in the criminal underworld and a student he had secretly been teaching to collect information in the style of a ninja.**_  
><em>.

_From somewhere behind the group, I also realized that Ino's two children were stepping forward, looking bravely defiant with their upturned chins._

"_Haruno-san" Kazuya started, his handsome dark eyes narrow and intent. "I think this is a story best told by the children."_

.

Kazuya's ward, Mai, had been born in a small village on the outskirts of the land of Sand, not far from the village where I myself had hidden at Taniyama's onsen resort. She had been the sister of Daisuke, the nursery teacher. How had I not known that? Daisuke and I were... well, we were never together but we were close, at least?

On the night that Hanako had been taken, Mai had found her brother's body.

From the evidence Ino and Sai had unearthed, combined with Mai's story, it seemed that whoever had been after Hanako and I, had used Daisuke to find us. He had been tortured and- from the evidence- it seemed he had put up more of a fight than anyone could normally expect from a civilian. He was a better man than I'd realized.

Kazuya had been a wealthy visitor to the area, and was meant to stay at the onsen the night after Kakashi and I had left in search of Hanako. Taniyama had been devastated, and Mai was wandering the streets in a daze. Kazuya, in a bout of generosity, took in the child and hired a team of Suna ninja to investigate.

He would find out later, from Suna, that I had been staying there, and that Kakashi had me in his custody. Mai, who remembered Hanako well, was brought to Konoha as a witness. Kazuya had also decided to take her in as heir to his family.

She was introduced to Yoshio and Makino, who were constantly made to sit and play quietly as their parents worked on the official investigation, and eventually she'd been introduced to their little friend Miku.

A girl who was living in the cellar of Sasuke's house.

And as the children relayed their tale of the girl in the cellar, I saw Sasuke's wife crumple further in on herself. Apparently she had repeatedly asked to bring the child outside, and each time she had asked, her husband had punished her.

I slowly began to put the pieces together; everyone on my side was hiding in the mountains, and the guard on my house had been increased...

"Sasuke's gone missing. He's gone missing with my daughter." I didn't need to look up at the adults to know the truth of my words, but Ino's intake of breath was enough to confirm it. "And the village..."

"... Doesn't want you to know." Kiba growled, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with affection for the dog boy. He and I had only ever really been friends by association, but here he was with my nearest and dearest, willing to defy Konoha for my child. "They think you'll go off the rails... but thats kind of what we're betting on right now." A smirk. "Kakashi's on his way back, and Hinata's going to meet us back in the cave with some other recruits. The village doesn't want to confront an Uchiha openly."

I turned my attention back to the three children who had moved to stand together right in front of me. I felt a little better. I had a decent grasp of what was happening around me, and I had some control over my own future now. I wasn't a captive anymore, at least for a while. I smiled conspiratorially and they seemed to relax a little as I let some of my motherly playfulness show for the first time in months. "Well we're going to have to do something about that, aren't we?"

The three children exchanged knowing smiles. "We're going to save Miku." Yoshio confirmed, and I reached out to hold his hand tightly.

"We're going to save _Hanako_."

.

It seemed to Kakashi that he was to be always torn in two; between his search for Sakura and his allegiance to the Village, between his desire to kill Sasuke and his need for legal justice, between going to his lover and pursuing her child.

Masako's message on the palm of his hand, normally hidden by his gloves, was short and to the point. Clenching his fist he silently willed Naruto luck and turned away from the village gates.

It took a long time to catch up with Masako; he had to resort to keeping an eye out for the little signals she had left for him, and at one point, as they headed further North, Kakashi had to summon Pakkun to help track Masako and her target.

It wasn't until they reached the Valley of the End that Kakashi fully realized where Sasuke was headed.

Shit.

_Shit_.

At his side, Pakkun gave a little whine, pulling Kakashi to a stop. The tiny dog pottered forwards and peered over the edge, sniffing dubiously. "I suppose you know where they're going."

Kakashi grimaced, eyes narrowing as he surveyed the horizon. "I wish I didn't." He tugged his glove off and hastily scrawled a message. "Head back towards Konoha. I'm going to need you to make sure that Naruto and Sakura get here as quickly as possible."

"Will you be okay on your own?" Pakkun glared over the valley, towards Oto. "The brat's always been strong, and you're not what you used to be."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "I'll pretend you didn't say that." He tugged his gloves down and checked his weapons. "All I need to do is hold him off for long enough to make sure the child's safe . Until Naruto and Sakura arrive."

Pakkun nodded and took off back towards Konoha. Gritting his teeth, Kakashi summoned Bull, the big brute of a dog, to his side.

Bull wasn't the brightest but really, Kakashi just needed a guard dog.

They launched across the valley, darting down, across, and up over the edge. Kakashi felt his hand begin to itch with a message from Masako, but he ignored it in favour of pressing onwards.

Now that he knew where he was going, it was easier to push himself to go faster. He could run at full speed without worrying that he'd miss a marking left by Masako. The girl was impressive indeed, to have kept pace with the Uchiha for this long whilst still leaving tracking symbols for Kakashi. He really needed to look into getting her recruited.

The Land of Sound base, where Sasuke had first been brought to Orochimaru, was much the same as it had ever been. The tree that marked its entrance had barely grown in the years that it had been neglected, which unsettled Kakashi in a way he couldn't quite place. This was the first base that had been found by Konoha, and Kakashi himself had led team Kurenai to it.

Tactically, it was remiss of Sasuke to come here, but Kakashi could understand. This was the first place Sasuke had come to after defecting, and if he had any sentimentality in him at all, this was the place that started him on his path of revenge.

Bull growled lightly, and Kakashi placed a warning hand on his shoulder, slinking forwards to the only entrance. What did Sasuke hope to achieve by bringing the girl here?

Tentatively, Kakashi stepped through the still open entrance- left open, he assumed, by Masako. The corridors were dark and tight, pulling him inwards, under the earth.

Up ahead, he could hear Sasuke's voice. The words were impossible to make out, but he sounded calm and almost sociable as he spoke alone, without response. No response? From what little Kakashi could remember of Hanako she'd been loud and outspoken- demanding. How had this time with Sasuke changed her?

Carefully masking his presence, Kakashi edged forwards, signalling for Bull to stay in the shadows. As he neared the sound of Sasuke's voice, he half expected Masako to emerge from some hidden crevice and approach him, but she didn't. He couldn't even sense her presence.

Sasuke was in the main laboratory, stood with his back to Kakashi, facing a small figure strapped to a gurney. "... to make you more co operative..." he said almost gently, as he turned to the trolley at his side and produced a large needle filled with a clear fluid.

It was instinct that made Kakashi step out of his hiding place, sending a well aimed kunai in Sasuke's direction. Stepping out of the way, the Uchiha turned slowly, sending Kakashi a withering glare.

"Hatake." He said with a sneer. "That was clumsy of you." Kakashi said nothing, keeping his eye on Sasuke as he walked slowly around the room. Sasuke lifted his chin, eyes narrowed -but still black- as he watched Kakashi circle him. "I was just wondering who my little stalker was." He turned his eyes away from Kakashi, looking down at the figure lying between them, and for the first time Kakashi registered that there was no way that this was Hanako. Her hair was too neat, too dark, and she was much taller, though still slight on the adult-sized operating table.

_Masako_.

She was conscious, but only just, and her palm -still marked with her message to him- was facing upwards. Her eyes turned slowly to see Kakashi, and closed. Kakashi gritted his teeth and glared at Sasuke, rage pulsing through his veins.

Masako had never been meant for the front lines, she was a _spy_, not a warrior. How could she have stood a chance with Sasuke? Why had he let her go ahead?

"Oh." Sasuke sounded irritated. "Is this meant to be another child you're claiming as yours?" His mouth twisted, and he looked Kakashi up and down.

"What have you done?"

"She's not a Shinobi." Sasuke said, his voice cold. "Maybe a contact? I knew you were heartless, Kakashi, but to take a child and make her think she's stronger than she is..." He shook his head. "You never were a good teacher."

Kakashi silently willed Masako to open her eyes again, to show that she was okay, but she was as still as death. "You're talking too much, Sasuke." He said, casting a glance around the room for Hanako. "That's not like you." He lunged, kunai drawn, and Sasuke drew a short sword to parry. He drew his needle with the other hand, and Kakashi stepped back to avoid it as Sasuke whirled and placed himself between Kakashi and Masako, hunkered down and ready to move.

With his free hand, Kakashi pulled up the forehead protector and felt his left eye spin into action. Sasuke scowled, and Kakashi had never been more grateful for the suppression seal placed on Sasuke's eyes.

Or at least, he was grateful... until Sasuke's eyes glowed vivid red.

"What?" Kakashi gasped as Sasuke lunged forwards, sinking the needle deep into his bicep. Kakashi managed to drag his own blade across Sasuke's chest, but the damage had been done; he could feel his veins burning with the foreign substance, and silently cursed himself for letting his guard down.

"You didn't really think that I wouldn't find a way around the seal, did you?" Sasuke smirked, but Kakashi remained unruffled. "No, but I hoped so." His limbs felt heavy, and he felt a bead of sweat rolling down his face with the effort of remaining in a battle stance.

"You've been injected with something _very _special." Sasuke said, relaxing his stance and heading back over to Masako. "This is one of _his_ creations. A truth serum, basically, but one that has some other, more interesting side effects." He glanced back at Kakashi. "You can't be blamed for falling prey to it; none of its components are familiar to Konoha, so your resistance training's useless."

Kakashi slumped to the floor, panting. Sasuke sheathed his sword, and leaned over Masako's body, inspecting her face. "Nothing special." He decided. "Really, Hatake, what is it with you and the _ordinary _ones?"

"Shut up." Kakashi ground out, and Sasuke arched an eyebrow. "Don't touch her."

A faint sigh, and Sasuke shook his head. "You do know that you're in no position to stop me." he held out his hand above Masako's chest and watched Kakashi as a single spark crackled to life in his hand.

"No." Kakashi gasped, eyes wide.

"This is the technique that you taught me." Sasuke reminded him, tilting his head. "The only time that you ever really helped any of your students, and it was to teach me this." The Chidori burst to life in his hand, and Kakashi attempted to drag himself towards the dark haired man.

"Daddy?" A small voice called out, and the Chidori disappeared. Sasuke and Kakashi both turned to look at the little girl stood in the doorway. She had changed indeed, in the months since Kakashi last saw her. How long had it been? Just two? Her hair had been coloured black, but Kakashi felt the touch of Genjutsu about it, and wondered just how far that applied.

Hanako had grown a little taller, and her slightly chubby arms now looked fragile and too thin for her age. Her eyes were dark, but her face had the sweet curve to the cheeks that Sakura had once had, and her eyes were bigger, more round than either of the men before her. She glanced to Kakashi, suspiciously, and to Masako's body. "My arm hurts."

She pulled up the sleeve of her kimono to reveal a cotton ball strapped to the inside of her elbow, stained with a faint hint of blood. Kakashi growled. "What did you do, Sasuke?"

Startled by the aggressive tone, Hanako stepped back into the shadows, but Sasuke held out his hand to her, and she came obediently forwards into the Uchiha's arms. Sasuke held her to his side and looked down with that coolly proud expression that Fugaku had worn once. "You've been very good, Miku." He praised, and Hanako smiled shyly.

It disturbed Kakashi more than he had expected, seeing his daughter like this. He'd not really wanted her when he'd only known of her as an abstract thing, a child that he'd met once, but with her so close, and knowing that she was _his and Sakura's child_ pulled at his heart painfully.

It wasn't just that Sakura needed her, it was more than that.

"Kakashi, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Miku." Sasuke smirked. "The heir to the Uchiha clan."

"Firstly..." Kakashi gasped, pulling himself upright through sheer force of will. "There _is _no Uchiha clan." Sasuke's eyes sparked dangerously. "_Secondly_, she isn't your daughter."

Hanako frowned, looking up at Sasuke for confirmation. Having never known a father, of course she would accept that Sasuke was hers, but Kakashi knew that at least she had a mother."

"Hanako." He wheezed. "Your Mum's waiting. She wants me to-" Sasuke hit him across the face, _hard_, and just using his hand. Hanako, though, was beaming.

"Oh, I'd like to see Mummy! Please Daddy, can we go?"

"No." Sasuke said sharply, nudging Kakashi with his foot so that he was lying on his back. "I told you. She's not your mother anymore." He glared at Hanako, and she quailed. "Go back to your room, I'll be there in a bit."

Once the little girl had scampered away Sasuke placed his foot on Kakashi's chest and pressed down heavily.

"It's a shame that she looks so much like that woman." He said, meeting Kakashi's eyes. Summoning the last of his energy, Kakashi sent his Sharingan spinning into action, but Sasuke tugged his forehead protector down before he could summon any jutsu. "I can't understand your interest in her, not really."

Gasping in pain, Kakashi heaved in a deep breath. "You wanted her too." It wasn't what he wanted to say, he wanted to use the word. That one word that took so much to face.

Sasuke frowned. "I didn't _want her_. She wanted me, remember? And... well." He shrugged. "She had no bloodline limit that could interfere with the Sharingan... She suited the purpose well enough." He narrowed his eyes. "Trust me, I didn't _enjoy _it... but the council wouldn't allow me a wife, and then the wife they gave me was barren."

Kakashi hadn't realized just how much he could hate one man.

"Now." Sasuke said dismissively, "We have a DNA test result to wait for, and I wanted to talk to you."

Behind Sasuke, Bull padded gently after Hanako.

.

Several of the group had gone off in different directions, everyone wearing each other's clothes to put off trackers, while Naruto and I headed towards Oto with Sai and Ino. Ino was wearing Hinata's jacket, and Sai had changed clothes with Shikamaru. Naruto was wearing Kiba's clothes (Kiba had _not _been impressed when forced to wear Naruto's orange and black tracksuit) and I was wearing Tsunade's tunic and leggings.

The journey was silent but for our running footsteps. Pakkun remained close to my side, which I appreciated more than I could say. I felt the familiar coolness of the metal kunai strapped to both my thighs, and the sturdy weight of my medic-pack on my hip. The weapons pack on my other side balanced me out, and I had forgotten how good it felt to be part of a team. A real team, not the gangs I'd associated with while on the run, but a whole group with the same objective and who cared if you lived or died.

And all of it was for my sake. These people had defied the official orders of the village and its council to help me get my daughter back as soon as possible.

Kakashi had apparently gone on ahead, and I wasn't entirely sure if that was good or bad. On the one hand, he was actively involved in the search for our child, but on the other hand he might get the chance to kill Sasuke before I did.

I flexed my fingers with a satisfying _pop_ and allowed myself to melt into years of habit with my friends around me. We were on a mission, and failure was simply not an option.

.

**I've finally moved to London!**

** I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and please show your appreciation using the box at the bottom. Feedback is much appreciated, and I'd love to know what you think of how this is panning out!**


	14. Sakura's Revenge

**Wow, such a quick update! I know right? Crazy. I just got carried away a bit with this one, you'll probably be able to tell... There is a fair bit of violence and blood in this chapter, but considering how much we've been waiting for the face off between Sakura and Sasuke I think it's ok!**_  
><em>

.

_Kakashi had apparently gone on ahead, and I wasn't entirely sure if that was good or bad. On the one hand, he was actively involved in the search for our child, but on the other hand he might get the chance to kill Sasuke before I did._

_I flexed my fingers with a satisfying pop and allowed myself to melt into years of habit with my friends around me. We were on a mission, and failure was simply not an option._

.

We arrived at the base within record time. Blades drawn and readied, we fell into a formation that I don't think had ever been practiced. I headed up the front with Naruto close behind me, Ino and Sai fell into step a little further back, ready to dart around the main fight for a quick rescue and getaway if needed.

So Kakashi had really gone in there without back-up? That couldn't be right. Kakashi was always measured, always thinking strategically and definitely _not_ rushing in headfirst. That was Naruto's thing and it seemed like even _he _wasn't that stupid anymore...

I turned to look at Ino, so different from when we'd fought together last; her short hair, her swollen belly of baby weight, still stubbornly refusing to melt off in the same irritating way that my hips refused to narrow. Ino caught my eye and smiled- not the cocky smirk she used to give me, this was a grim, determined smile of reassurance.

_Failure is not an option._

Naruto and I edged towards the open door, and the sound of Sasuke and... Kakashi? They were talking. I edged up to the door, holding my breath as I listened.

"Are you jealous of me?" That was Sasuke. "Jealous that _I _was the last one to touch her?"

Oh my _God_. Seriously? Shame and horror raced through me and I hoped more than anything that Hanako couldn't overhear. Kakashi coughed, groaning in pain. "Yes."

My eyes narrowed. Why was Kakashi humouring him?

Sasuke sighed. "Pathetic." He paused. "You know I've never had the upper hand like this before. Not over you." The sound of cloth shuffling. "I wonder what you look like under that mask." A dark chuckle. "Naruto will be so jealous."

I could feel Naruto watching me, but ignored him as I glanced around the door. A young girl, too old to be Hanako but still young, was strapped to an operating table with a full tray of silver torture instruments at her side. From the looks of it, she'd been under Sasuke's 'care' a little too long. Beyond that table was another doorway, and next to it Sasuke was crouched over a barely conscious Kakashi, reaching to tug down the mask.

"Huh." Sasuke inspected our ex sensei's bare face with a slight pout- reminiscent of how he'd looked as a child trying to accomplish that once tiny goal. "Nothing special."

But he didn't get the chance to say anything else on the matter as my fist connected with the side of his face.

Sasuke was sent into the wall with a pained grunt, and I knelt beside Kakashi to pull his mask up gently, not knowing what had caused him to end up in this state. He smiled as his eyes met mine. "Hello darling." He said, slurring slightly.

I raised an eyebrow but said nothing as Sasuke pulled himself upright. I crouched defensively over Kakashi as my rapist and I met face to face properly for the first time in over five years. He rubbed his cheek, stunned, as he looked me up and down. I flexed my fingers. "Hello Sasuke." I said, a little breathlessly. "Miss me?"

.

Ino was already on the move as Sakura faced off against Sasuke. With Sai behind her, she darted over to the girl on the gurney, quickly realizing that this couldn't be Hanako. "Sai, You go ahead." She ordered, quickly assessing the girl's wounds. "Find Hanako, I need to get this girl outside."

Sai clapped a hand on his wife's shoulder and quickly kissed the back of her neck, darting on through the door at the other side of the room. If anyone was able to get that girl out, it was going to be his wife, but priority number one was still Hanako.

He brought out a series of ink rats with a flourish of his brush, and began to stalk the corridors, carefully picking the locks and opening the doors as he made his way along. The rats would sniff her out without his help, but it felt _wrong _somehow to not be doing his part.

"Yo, Sai." Naruto said at his shoulder, and Sai _almost_ slashed his neck in surprise. Naruto easily swatted the blade away and smirked. "We gonna find the girl?"

Barely sparing Naruto a withering glance, Sai pointed to the plague of ink rats into the corridor, and just as he did so, they all began surging in the same direction, towards a barely ajar door down the corridor to his right. "They've found her," He nodded. "I don't think Sasuke will have hurt her."

"Don't _think_." Naruto said, grim. Sai could only shake his head and the two men hurried towards the door.

This could be it.

This could be the moment that they found Sakura's daughter.

After all this _time_ apart, would she be alright? Was she alive?

Pausing at the door, Sai froze. How would he feel if it was one of _his _children that had been taken? He wasn't sure that he'd be able to cope. After his years in ROOT, would that be his default? Would he have reverted to a mindless killing machine?

He couldn't say for sure that he wouldn't.

"Sai." Naruto placed a firm hand on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality with a jerk. Sai met the blue-eyed stare of his best friend and was reminded of just how _stable _Naruto was. No matter what happened, Naruto was unwavering in his pursuit of peace, and right triumphing over wrong.

He was lucky to have him, and so was Sakura.

Together, they pushed open the door.

A fierce, huge beast's eyes turned on them, growling and alert. Kicking the door open wider, the men readied their weapons-

And then a very ruffled looking Bull stepped out of the shadows, tail wagging. "Bull?" Naruto said, uncertainty lacing his voice. "What?"

Then a small child, a dark haired girl of about five toddled out after the dog, reaching around his thick neck and burying herself in him, glaring suspiciously at the two large ninjas in her cell.

Though her hair and eyes were dark, the face was undeniably Sakura's.

"Hang on." Sai realized, turning to Naruto. "Aren't you meant to be helping _Sakura_?"

Naruto gave Sai a proud little smile. "I _really_ think she's got this one."

.

Sasuke was quick, and he knew that speed had always been my weak point. I'd always had the strength, but I couldn't hope to catch him at full speed. After the first hit, he'd been quicker to feint from my fists, and had drawn his sward in an attempt to draw first... well, _second _blood. If I could just get him once, then it would be easy after that.

I just kept _missing_.

Lunge, evade, parry, attack. He brought out the Sharingan and I felt the dread coil in my stomach. He knew he was faster, and he knew that this would probably win him the fight. He smirked.

"Maybe you've not changed as much as everyone said."

And that did it. That _pissed me off_.

My fist connected with his left shoulder with an _incredibly_ satisfying crunch. The feeling of flesh giving way to bone made his eyes widen in shock, and I didn't even allow myself a smile before bringing my other fist around to smash into the side of his face.

He made a little noise in the back of his throat, and tried to steady himself on his feet and bring his sword around.

Not a fucking chance.

I was too quick for him. _I was too fucking quick for him_. My fist connected with his stomach, and his intestines did a pathetic job of stopping me breaking his spine.

With three consecutive punches, it was over. Three punches? That couldn't be it. That wasn't _nearly _enough.

I gave up on the chakra-strength; I hadn't the concentration or presence of mind to use it anymore. So I used my own naked, but still very strong fists to punch him again. Hard. I sat on his broken belly with my legs either side of his torso and _kept hitting him_.

I twisted his broken arm, pulling hard so that he cried out in pain.

I broke his nose.

I slammed his head into the floor.

For a long time -a longer time than was really healthy to spend beating up a defenceless man- I just sat there, punching and slapping the unconscious mess that had once been my team mate.

My _team mate_, my crush, my reason for training so hard for so long... yet he'd _violated _that trust so many times, in so many ways, and I couldn't just forgive him anymore. Years of pent up anger and humiliation and frustration cam pouring out with each smack of my hands against his body.

I didn't even realize I was shouting at him as well.

Kakashi reached out to touch my leg, fingers barely squeezing at all, but it caught my attention. I turned to look at him, then back at the bloodied mess of Sasuke. "He's... he's still alive." I said, my voice a strange mixture of reassuring and disappointed. I'd not killed him, but I kind of wish I had.

"I want you to." Kakashi admitted, voice still slurring strangely. "But he'll suffer more like this." He was so obviously out of it, but he had a point. I reluctantly slid off my victim, and Kakashi took my hand. I squeezed gently, but he winced in pain.

I searched him for a wound. "What did he give you?"

"Needle. Arm. Some kind of truth serum but... _agh! _Everything hurts more than it should."

"It's enhancing your pain receptors. No time for a suppressant, Kakashi. Brace yourself." I said, sliding a scalpel from my medic bag. I made the cut as quick and clean as possible, but he still shouted in pain beneath me. I made soothing noises as I began searching his bloodstream for the foreign toxins, pulling them out and tossing the liquid at Sasuke as I drained Kakashi's system.

"Hanako's safe." Kakashi managed to get out, once I'd managed to drain most of the poison. I rubbed his shoulder gratefully, not daring to quite believe him. "Sasuke was only carrying out a DNA test."

"You got here just in time then." I managed. "Where is she?"

Kakashi put a steadying hand on my shoulder and sat up, leaning heavily against the wall. His visible eye seemed to lose focus, then slid to something over my shoulder, his hand tightening on my arm, then letting go.

"Mum...?" At the sound of that voice, the voice that had haunted my dreams and nightmares since that awful day two months ago, my heart stopped and I went very, very still.

With blood still on my hands and clothes, I turned to face the confused looking girl in the doorway, sat on the back of a thoroughly petted-looking Bull, between Sai and Naruto.

I almost didn't recognize her at first; her hair was dark, and she'd lost so much weight... but there in front of me was my little girl.

I fell to my knees, tears filling my eyes. I wanted to hold her so much... but I was covered in blood... if she had arrived moments earlier... she could have seen...

Very very carefully, and very very slowly, Hanako dismounted the huge dog. She eyed my clothes and my hands, which I kept open on my lap. She glanced behind me to Kakashi, and her eyes widened. "You're that ninja who visited." She bit her lip and looked over at the broken body of Sasuke Uchiha. "What happened to Daddy?"

I couldn't help it. The tears fell and I dissolved into a sobbing, heaving mess. I fell forwards and leaned heavily on the bloody floor, crying loudly, body shaking. The entire lab was silent as comrades watched me in stunned silence.

This wasn't the me they knew; I hadn't cried like this since I was maybe fifteen...

But a tiny hand landed on my shoulder, and a cheek rested against my head. Hanako wrapped her arms around me and I pulled myself upright to cradle her in my lap. As my hand moved in firm, familiar circles on her back Hanako began to cry into my chest; loud wailing cries as she called for me over and over. "Mummy!" She sobbed. "Mum!"

"Hanako." I managed, closing my eyes and burying my face in her hair. This was my daughter. I gripped her arms, ran my hand across her back, pulled her even closer... _This was really my daughter_.

"Mummy... Mummy! Mummy!" The tiny child in my arms couldn't seem to say anything else, but I couldn't choke out much more than her name either.

"Hanako... Hanako..."

We were both wailing, cries echoing off the walls of the lab, and nothing mattered except that my daughter was _safe_. I vaguely heard Ino's frantic arrival, worried that Hanako was in danger, but upon seeing us she simply moved to wrap her arms around her husband, burying her face in his neck, shoulders slumping in relief.

"Hanako, darling." I whispered, pulling back to kiss my daughters cheeks, eyes, forehead, nose. She giggled a bit at that, and I kissed her nose again. The tears were still falling, but she was giggling and squirming as I blew a loud raspberry on her tummy, trying not to dwell on how bony and fragile she felt in my hands.

"Mummy." she said, glancing over at Sasuke. "I don't really like Daddy. He's scary."

I shook my head, holding Hanako firmly by the upper arms. "Don't worry. Sasuke can't hurt us anymore."

Meeting my eyes, she smiled.

.

When we arrived back in Konoha, I was immediately escorted by ANBU back to my house-prison with Hanako. Kakashi and Naruto both tried to follow but were directed towards the Hokage's office. Apparently the rest of the council were seriously considering calling for Tsunade's resignation, and Tsunade was busy trying to smooth things over.

"Don't worry about it Sakura!" Naruto shouted. "You were 'heavily guarded' at all times, no one will be able to contest this!" He was promptly told off by one of his ANBU subordinates and cheerfully led his bemused team away with Kakashi in tow.

As Kakashi turned to leave, I saw his good eye flicker towards me, and then Hanako. He paused, and I almost called out, but the ANBU agent who had my hands cuffed at my back urged me onwards. I glanced back, but Kakashi was already walking away.

Well, I had asked him to leave me alone. I _had_ sent him away, not wanting to risk getting too close...

But with Hanako here, the fear was gone; Kakashi had the right to see his daughter and with her around I wouldn't need to rely on him so heavily. The relationship problems that we'd always had were still there and we knew we were no good together but-.

_But_ I was pretty sure I still loved him, and I thought he still loved me. Why else would he pursue me so relentlessly for so long after I'd left?

Hanako clung tightly to my- well, technically _Tsunade's _leggings as we were taken to our house. The many bolts and locks on the door were released and we were ushered in. Almost instantly Hanako was dragging me around with her- exploring every room, and every nook and cranny, asking me every question that popped into her head.

"What does this do?"

"Why are we living in a doctor's surgery?"

"Can we get a dog? A big one!"

I smiled and answered as best as I could without exposing her to the horrors of what had happened in the past. This was similar to how she behaved every time that we had moved in the past but... she'd never held my hand this tightly as she explored before. Normally Hanako would disappear off into another room and take her time testing every floorboard and cupboard for potential hiding places and treasures. She'd grown up used to change, but my heart ached at the idea that she couldn't bounce back from this episode as quickly as I'd hoped.

Eventually I managed to persuade Hanako to let me bathe, but she got in the bath with me and insisted on us washing each others' hair. As her back was to me, I pulled all her dark tresses back and released the genjutsu she was carrying, holding out her normal pale pink hair for her to see with a big smile. "See? It's washed away!"

Her face at having her own hair back made my big smile feel a little less strained, and she scrambled around to wash the blood off of me herself, scrubbing carefully under my fingernails. "See?" She said, pride glowing in her face as she held my hands out between us. "It's all washed away, Mummy."

"Yes, sweetheart." I said, cupping her cheek reverently. "It's almost as if it never happened."

But at that, she frowned. "Mummy." She said, turning huge ink-black eyes up to meet mine. I felt the familiar pang of recognition at the shade, once dulled over time but now fresh with the memory of Kakashi walking away. "It did happen. I can't wash away in here." He held her hand to her chest. "Or here." She produced her arm for me to see, with the cotton wool still strapped to her inner elbow.

I held her arm carefully. "We'll just see about that." I whispered, and slowly pulled the protective cotton away. Sasuke had been neat enough with the needle, but hadn't accounted for a child's fidgeting. The mark was wide and scabbed over, with the surrounding area red from Hanako's fiddling hands scratching and rubbing at it. I held my hand over her arm and gathered up a little more healing chakra than was really necessary, making sure the warmth of it spread through her entire body. She gasped and squirmed, watching with wide eyes as the mark on her arm completely vanished before her eyes. I leant down to kiss the spot where the mark had been, enticing a happy giggle from my daughter. "See?" I said again, running my fingers over her elbow and smiling. "It's already a little bit better."

"The other children said you couldn't really do it." Hanako said, and I realized she meant back in Suna, at the nursery school. "They said I was lying about my Mum being magic."

"Well no one will say that here." I assured her. "This is where Mummy grew up, so these people know what I can do."

Thinking it over, Hanako nodded slowly. "How long are we staying here?" She asked. "The blonde man brought Daddy with us, and I don't like being near Daddy. I don't want him to live with us."

"He _won't_. It's okay Hanako." I floundered, trying to think of the best way of explaining it to her; She'd had it drilled into her to call Sasuke 'Daddy' and I wasn't sure that the word could mean anything good to her anymore. How was I supposed to introduce Kakashi to her life now? How could I convince her that a 'Daddy' was good?

I helped her out of the bath and engulfed her in the biggest fluffiest towel I could find, dropping it on her and wrapping myself in a smaller towel as she found her way out of it, giggling.

It was as I was dressing her that the awful truth occurred to me; this wasn't over. She knew Sasuke as 'Daddy' and had been so traumatised that if she met Kakashi now she might reject him.

I couldn't bring Kakashi into our lives, not now. As much as I wanted to -and I _did _want to, despite what I kept telling both him and myself- it wasn't the right time for us to be together whether as a couple or as a family.

But I had Hanako, and that was more than I'd let myself hope for.

So I dressed her in one of my larger t-shirts, took my time combing out her pale pink hair and singing lullabies, then bundled her into bed and sighed as she wrapped her arms tightly around me. "Mum." She whispered against my neck. "Can you tell me a story?"

I paused, and stroked her hair. "What kind of story, Hanako?"

She pulled away and looked up at me, big eyes wondering. "A story about good guys beating the bad guys." I smiled. "And... maybe about a prince and princess." I grinned, and she ducked her head shyly. "With ninjas."

Ah, so she still liked ninjas, did she? I thought about it carefully, contemplating the contents. "A long story? Or lots of little stories?"

"Don't mind."

"Ok." I sighed, shuffling down so that we were face to face. "I think I've got one." I used to tell her the old Konoha legends before, there was no reason I couldn't filter the truth through to her slowly like this. "Once upon a time there was a little girl with long pink hair, and a very big forehead." Hanako giggled. "All she'd wanted her whole life was to be a ninja, and to marry a boy with thick black hair and sad eyes, but there was this _really _annoying blonde boy who used to follow her around, and an _even more _annoying man with spiky silver hair who was very lazy... and mean."

I told a sleepless Hanako everything about my days as a genin, right up to Sasuke's defection and Naruto's departure, when Hanako yawned. I paused.

"I'll tell you the rest tomorrow."

"No. M'not tired."

"Well _I am_. I'll still be here in the morning, so you can sleep. It's been a big day."

"Promise?"

I kissed the child's forehead and pulled her back into my arms. "Of course I promise. You and I won't be separated again."

I should have _known_ that it was foolish to make such promises.

.

**Oh God, no! Not another cliffhanger when it's supposed to be over! Oh I'm awful! Go on then, review and let me know how much you hate me right now...**


	15. No Choice

**Wow! Another chapter within- what? Two days? I'm on fire! I struggled quite a bit with this chapter, trying not to make it too long (I think I failed) and talky. This isn't the last chapter by any means, there's still a ways to go yet!**

.

"_I'll still be here in the morning, so you can sleep. It's been a big day."_

"_Promise?"_

_I kissed the child's forehead and pulled her back into my arms. "Of course I promise. You and I won't be separated again."_

_I should have known that it was foolish to make such promises._

.

"You can't be serious." Naruto said, his voice a barely controlled hiss. "After everything they've _been _through?"

"Because of that." Tsunade growled, setting her bottle of sake down with a heavy _thud_. "I've been able to argue some leniency, but this is the only way to settle things with the council."

Naruto ran a hand through his hair, and turned to Kakashi helplessly, waving a hand towards him. "This guy? He can't even teach a group of Genin properly! No offence Kakashi..." He shook his head. "I thought you loved her too, Granny."

Tsunade glared at him, but the blond man raised his chin in defiance. "It's not just my _position_ that we're talking about here. Everyone involved could be punished if we don't go about this _very carefully_. Naruto, you could be demoted, maybe even fired for this. Neji _and _Hinata would be kicked out of their clan... Absolutely everyone involved would suffer similar fates. Kakashi is the only one who can at least pretend he had nothing to do with it."

Kakashi stood silently as Naruto raged; despite himself, he agreed with the young ANBU commander. He didn't want the responsibility that Tsunade was asking of him, and he didn't look forward to Sakura's reaction.

"... But we were _guarding her! _The entire time! Sakura was never in any position to escape custody!" Naruto finished, and Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"That's not what Sasuke's saying."

"That _bastard_." Naruto ran a hand down his face.

"Sasuke's saying you stood watching Sakura attack him, then left. She was left unsupervised with a man she's _known _to despise for a long time." Tsunade steepled her fingers. "Personally, and off the record, I think he deserved it. She deserved that chance to get some closure, but the fact remains that Sasuke is a member of the village and Sakura is an S rank criminal."

"Surely..." Kakashi breathed. "The circumstances could be viewed as..."

Tsunade shook her head. "Sasuke had yet to be placed on the missing nin register, and his connection with Hanako's kidnapping wasn't certain at the time of Sakura's chase."

"Yes it was." Kakashi said firmly. "The girl we brought back with us is one of my contacts and she confirmed seeing Sasuke take the child from Konoha." When both turned to stare at him in disbelief, he swallowed. "I made contact with Masako during the hunt for Sakura, and she proved herself to be a reliable source. I can vouch for her, and when she wakes up she'll tell you herself."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Well then. Perhaps when Sasuke's trial comes around we'll have our chance. But for now, this is the way that it has to be. I'm sorry, Kakashi. If it helps, I'll tell her myself..."

"No." Kakashi held up a hand. "It won't do you any good to be seen making exceptions by visiting prisoners. I'll do it." He really didn't want to, but it was the least that he could do.

.

When I woke, late in the morning, Hanako was already up and drawing on the walls.

"Hanako!" I exclaimed, looking up in horror at the childish scrawls on the walls. How was I meant to paint over this? Would i wash off? "What are you doing?"

Hanako blinked back at me. "Drawing."

"You _know _that drawings go on paper." I told her, taking away her dirty paintbrush and escorting her into the bathroom. "Come on, lets get you cleaned up."

"But I couldn't find any paper!" Hanako protested as I sat her on the edge of the sink, filling it up with water. "Daddy never gave me any so I had to use the walls."

"Don't call him 'Daddy' anymore." I scolded, scrubbing between her fingers. "He wasn't telling the truth. He isn't your father."

Hanako was silent for a while, and I sat her on the edge of the toilet seat as I dried her hands. "He's not?" She thought about it. "What about Daisuke?"

"No, sweetie." I smiled, ruffling her hair. "Daisuke's not your Daddy either." I couldn't tell her about Daisuke's death at Sasuke's hands, not yet.

Hanako glanced around the room nervously. "Are they going to be ok?"

"Who?"

"The sleepy girl and the ninja."

I helped Hanako back onto her feet and led her through to the living area. "They're being very well looked after at the hospital. I'm sure they'll be fine." I began preparing breakfast as Hanako climbed up onto the counter. "Maybe they'll visit when they're better."

"Can we visit them?"

I sighed, cursing the ANBU guard that surrounded my little cottage. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I can't."

"Why not?"

Hanako's legs swung as she waited patiently for my answer. I pushed down the toast into the toaster, and heaved a deep breath. "Well... you remember that I told you that this is where I lived when I was little?" She nodded, and I cracked the eggs into the bowl before whisking the milk into the mixture. "Well, when I was younger I ran away from home."

"Why?"

"Because... I fell out with a friend." I glanced at her. "And I was scared that I was in trouble."

"Oh."

I poured the mix into the pan and began scrambling the eggs, enjoying the way Hanako kept her eyes on the food. "But in a ninja village, running away is a very bad thing to do, in case you tell enemies the village's secrets." I paused. "And I did some bad things to keep you and me safe. Remember how we kept moving?"

"Think so."

"Well I was still running away." The toaster popped up, and I left the eggs to spread butter onto the toast. "But you can't run forever, and Kakashi... the ninja at the hot springs showed up to remind me that. So I had to come back, and I'm in trouble so I can't leave the house for a while."

Finished with the toast, I stirred the eggs once more and tipped them out onto the toast, half each. Noticing Hanako's glum expression, I turned off the hob and tapped her once on the nose with a smile.

"Cheer up, it's ok. Breakfast's ready!"

Hanako smiled and dropped down from the counter with cat-like ease, following me to the table and holding out her hand for sauce, licking her lips. We ate in relative silence, but eventually I felt Hanako's feet stretch out to nudge my knee under the table. I looked up, fork halfway to my mouth, and blinked at Hanako's serious expression. "Mummy, is it nice here?"

I paused, thinking back to my childhood, and sighed. "It's nice here." I assured her, trying to keep the frown from my face. "Konoha is one of the biggest ninja villages in the world, and it's not as hot as back home, you won't need to worry so much about sunburn."

Hanako hummed, picking up a piece of toast with her fork.

"Smaller pieces, Hanako." I reminded her, and she huffed in irritation, putting it back on the plate and clumsily cutting into the chunk of toast with her blunt plastic knife. I smiled indulgently as I watched her cut the piece exactly in half, then pile it high with scrambled egg and sauce. I rested my chin in the palm of my hand, elbow propped up on the table as Hanako dug into her food, eating heartily and giggling when she spilled sauce onto her makeshift nightdress. "We need to get you some new clothes." I mumbled, and Hanako made a big show of pouting at me.

And that was how Kakashi found us, pouting and grinning across the table at each other in too-big t-shirts and (in my case) a pair of old shorts.

The sight of him surprised me, and I had little time to do more than sit upright before Hanako was stood on her chair, squealing with outstretched arms.

"Ooh!" She cried, food forgotten though she still clutched her cutlery above her head. "The ninja!" Stunned, Kakashi simply watched her as she clambered down and grabbed him by the trousers, turning to look at me with wide eyes. "Look Mum! The _ninja_ is here!"

"Oh, you remember me then?" Kakashi said mildly, but I didn't miss the flicker of his eye to me before he sat on his heels, crouching to Hanako's height and ruffling her hair the way he so often ruffled team 7's. Judging by Hanako's expression, she appreciated it about as much as we did.

She scowled at his smile, but didn't run away. "Yeah. You came to visit us at Granny Taniyama's house, and then you got beat up by Daddy."

"Sasuke." I corrected, automatically without any particular tone. Kakashi's eyebrow raised and he tilted his head to peer up at Hanako's face childishly.

"He didn't beat me up." He protested, holding out his fists. "I'm much too tough for that guy!"

Hanako giggled. "But you're not the one to beat him up! You were lying on the floor!"

Kakashi propped his chin up on his hand, turning to give me an expression that was probably meant to be pouting puppy eyes, yet came across a little more manic with only one eyebrow visible. "She figured me out." He moaned, and Hanako grinned.

"My Mummy's the only one strong enough to fight with Daddy."

"Sasuke." I corrected again, and Hanako shrugged. "Hanako this is-"

"Kakashi." He introduced himself, holding out his hand for Hanako to shake. "How do you do?"

Hanako took his hand. "I'm Hanako. I'm okay thank you, and you?"

Kakashi smiled. "Better now that you're back. Your Mum was very worried."

I cleared my throat and the two turned to look at me, as though caught gossiping. "What's that you've got there, Kakashi?" I nodded to the parcel under his arm, and he straightened, setting it down on the table next to me and sliding into the chair. Almost instantly, Hanako jumped back into her chair, shovelling the last of her breakfast down her.

"This." He said pointedly, "Is from Ino. She knew Hanako didn't have any clothes here so when she and Sai were at Taniyama's they picked up a selection from the drawers." He met my eyes. "They didn't bring it over before just in case..."

"Thank you." I smiled. "See, Hanako? You escaped a shopping trip after all." I placed my hand on top of Kakashi's. "Is this a social call?" He glanced at Hanako, and I sat a little straighter, sensing his discomfort. "Hanako, why don't you go unpack? You can talk to Kakashi afterwards."

Sulking, Hanako took the parcel from the desk and clutched it to her chest, glaring at Kakashi. "You'd better be here when I come back."

"I wouldn't dare leave." Kakashi smiled, and watched her scurry off into the bedroom. Once she'd closed the door behind her, he dropped the smile and turned to me, placing his hand on top of mine and squeezing. "I have bad news."

"What?" I asked, heart dropping to my stomach. "Is it about Sasuke?"

He shook his head and sighed, as though trying to think. "It's the council. Whilst a couple of them are on your side, they're demanding that everyone who helped with your escape face demotion."

"Are you serious? Even Tsunade-shishou?"

"But... they have given Tsunade a way out." He heaved a deep sigh. "Since the recovery of Hanako and Sasuke was successful, and you didn't completely escape village custody, they are willing to overlook everyone's insubordination if..." He shook his head, and I tightened my hold on his hand.

"What do they want?" I demanded, "They can't demote all of you; that would be catastrophic to the clans... to the whole village!"

"They want me to take full custody of Hanako." He said, so quietly that I almost didn't hear him. He gripped my hand even tighter, so that mine was sandwiched between his, and my eyes widened.

I didn't pull away though. "Excuse me?" I hissed, voice dangerously close to squeaking. "How can they ask that of you? Or of me?"

"That's the point." Kakashi said, glumly. "They're not asking."

I rested my head against his shoulder. "Isn't there a way to change their minds?"

"I asked, but they've said that a child of Konoha shouldn't be in the care of... well..."

"A criminal." I spat, keeping an eye on the door that separated us from Hanako. "But I was _promised _that if Hanako was found she could live with me!"

"I know." Kakashi murmured. "But the council have said that since you violated your end of the bargain, they have the right to do the same." He rested his chin on my head, taking in a deep breath. "I'll bring her to visit every day if I can. When I'm on missions I'll make sure that Ino takes care of her..." He trailed off as I sniffed, tears falling onto his jumper. "I wish I could do more."

"I just don't know how to fight anymore." I whispered. "I spent so long running, then I held it together in this _prison_ for long enough to get her back but... Konoha's taking her away from me." I closed my eyes and in one motion Kakashi had his arms around my shoulders, stroking my back as I stifled my sobs against his jumper so that my daughter couldn't hear. "Why should she live with a father she doesn't know? A father who doesn't even love her?"

Kakashi said nothing, simply rubbing those comforting circles onto my back.

After a few seconds I sat upright, wiping my eyes. "I'm ok." I assured him. "I'll be fine." When he simply continued to look at me doubtfully, I took a deep, shaky breath. "I'd hoped to protect Hanako a little longer, by trying to get things back to normal before introducing you to her properly..." I shook my head. "She still calls _him _'Daddy'. It's sickening. I know its not her fault but... especially now that the DNA test _proves _there's no way he could be..."

Kakashi leant on the table. "She won't be moving out of here right away. Masako, my Suna contact, will be staying with me too so..." He laughed mirthlessly. "I need to get a bigger apartment."

"Hanako's always lived in apartments." I said, standing up. "Get a house. With a garden."

I headed towards the bedroom with Kakashi close on my heels. "Yeah. Of course."

.

Sasuke's wife pulled her dark brown hair back from her face into a neat bun, pulled on a knee length black dress and covered it with a light grey cardigan. Glaring at her reflection in the mirror she tilted her chin to inspect the scar that ran down her neck from behind her right ear.

Disgusting.

Turning her head the other way she lifted a hand and gently poked at the protrusion left from a broken collarbone that hadn't properly healed.

Vile.

She tugged down her cardigan sleeves to hide the other marks and opened the top drawer of her desk. Her make-up and perfumes had mostly been thrown out -or gotten old and clotted- but there was still a half decent lipstick in a shade that she couldn't remember buying.

It didn't _quite _suit her, and it went on a little bit too thickly for her tastes, but it was the best she had.

She couldn't very well go to her husband's sentencing without wearing _any _make up.

She inspected the marks on her feet and rummaged carefully through her old shoes for a pair that fell low down the sides of her feet so that her burn marks were visible. She might not have been able to testify against him, but with these marks on show she'd done her best to convey what she could.

Heading back to the mirror, she saw a little of the girl she used to be, before she'd been offered the chance to marry Sasuke Uchiha. She'd wondered why, but after meeting the enigmatic and mysterious ex-traitor she'd agreed without a second thought. She'd been young, but she wasn't anything close to an elite ninja, barely scraping Chuunin rank in the exams.

But today was the _last _day that she'd be Sasuke's wife. Once Sasuke was jailed properly she'd be able to leave this house. Maybe she'd move back in with her parents, or maybe she'd try to find a place of her own- half the Uchiha's fortune was hers after all... She might even start taking low-ranking missions again.

Sasuke's wife made her way out of the house she'd shared with her husband and 'their child', walking suitably sombrely towards the Hokage tower. Several people looked her way, whispering to each other and glaring. Her old friend, sat with a man she didn't recognize, turned away quickly when their eyes met.

Everyone knew what her husband had done. Everyone knew that she'd stood idly by as he kept an innocent child in their cellar. No one's faces were forgiving as she passed them.

But it didn't matter.

Today was the last day of Sasuke's wife's life. Tomorrow was the first day of Hiromi's.

.

The news that Sasuke was to be imprisoned for life came on the same day that Hanako was due to leave my house. Kakashi and I had chosen the house together; it had a swing set in the back garden and was in a safe, secure area of Konoha. Hanako, Masako and Kakashi all had separate bedrooms and the girls had plenty of space to train and play.

If I wasn't a prisoner, it was the sort of place I'd have liked to live in with Kakashi and our child.

Naruto came to visit me as soon as the trial was over, while Kakashi and I were packing the last of Hanako's steadily growing collection of toys.

"Yo." He grinned, strolling into the room with an overexcited Hanako chasing after him. "Hows it going?"

"Tiring." I sighed, hands on my hips as I eyed him suspiciously. "Want to help?"

"Ah- I _would_, Sakura, you _know _I would... but... I only came to give you the good news!"

"There's good news?" I raised an eyebrow and Kakashi shot me a reproachful look. "Sorry, go on."

"Sasuke's gonna be in jail for the rest of his life! I mean, he's paralyzed from the waist down anyway from that sucker punch you gave his spine, but he's officially gonna be confined to a cell now. For good!" He gestured wildly at his crotch and I threw a book at him. Kakashi hurriedly summoned Bull, and sent Hanako and the dog back into the lounge.

"Watch yourself around Hanako." I warned him, lifting a box of cuddly teddy bears. "Kakashi can you get the box of unicorn toys?" He grunted in response and we shuffled through the front door (under intense ANBU scrutiny) and loaded the cart with Naruto following close behind.

"Hey." Naruto murmured, nodding back to the house. "How did you break the news?"

I leaned against the cart, savouring the fresh air for a moment. "I told Hanako that she'd be staying with my good friend Kakashi the ninja for a bit until I was released." Naruto's eyebrows rose and he looked to Kakashi uneasily.

"You didn't tell her that Kakashi was her Dad?"

"I was going to." I said, rubbing my cheek in frustration. "But she started asking all these questions about ninjas and it just... didn't come up."

Kakashi shrugged. "We figured that if Masako calls me 'Dad' around the house, and encouraged Hanako to do the same, the transition would be easier."

"And if Hanako ever asks, then we tell her the truth." I finished with an uncertain smile. "It's by no means a perfect plan... but I can't have that conversation with her so soon. I'm not ready."

"What about her?" Naruto asked, seriously. "You don't think she'll get confused? Kids are _smart_, Sakura. She'll know something's wrong."

"At the moment it's a big adventure." I grimaced. "If we can keep her distracted for a little longer..."

"Just because you can't cope doesn't mean Hanako doesn't need to know."

"I _know _that!" I snapped, glaring at Naruto with my fists clenched. "But I don't know how to say it! I just got her back and she's leaving me again! If we tell her that Kakashi's her Dad then that's another part of her I'm giving away." I shook my head, not daring to look at Kakashi. "For years I've been her only parent, and I've been the only one she's loved like that. I know it's stupid but I don't want to lose that."

"Sakura." Kakashi's voice was strangely hard, and I turned to look at him not-quite-meeting-his-eye. "You know that won't happen."

"But you don't even love her." I bit out. "Why should I have to share her with you when you don't even see her as your daughter?"

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, impatient. "I'm not trying to take her away from you-"

"But you _are._" I growled, and the ANBU around us shifted so that their weapons were showing a little more obviously. With great effort, I reigned myself in, lifting my open palms in defeat. "Whatever, Kakashi. do what you want. _Say _what you want. It's not my choice anymore."

I headed back into the house ahead of the other two, heading straight into the living area where Hanako and Bull were involved in some sort of wrestling match that Bull was letting Hanako win.

"Hey, Hanako." I called, with my arms open. Instantly, Hanako detangled herself from Bull's hind legs and tail, running over to give me a hug. "You've got to be good for Kakashi, okay?" I stroked her hair gently. "And remember to visit me."

"Why can't you come with me Mummy?"

"You know why. Because I did something bad, and bad things get punished." I knelt down and cupped her face between my hands. "But I'm _right here _if you need anything, okay? I love you."

"Love you too." Hanako mumbled.

Behind me, Kakashi knocked softly on the door. I turned to look at him, and he met my eyes. I felt a faint tingle on the palm of my hand and looked down in confusion. There, written in Kakashi's slightly scruffy handwriting were the words:

_It's always your choice._

"Hanako." I whispered, staring at my hand. "Come and sit down with me for a bit, ok?" I pulled her over to the sofa with me, and she settled comfortably in my lap. "There's something that Kakashi and I have to tell you."

For a moment, I honestly thought Kakashi was about to run away. He didn't want to be a Dad- I wasn't sure that he had it in him to look after two children full time, but to his credit he came over and sat next to me, smiling at Hanako.

For a moment I could pretend that he loved her, and that he was ready.

"Hanako, you remember how Sasuke told you he was your Daddy?" I began, and proceeded to tell Hanako the watered down truth of our complicated history; not mentioning Sasuke's attack, only telling her that he was a very confused, very angry man that wanted children, and that I'd run away because he wanted Hanako all to himself.

I also told her how Kakashi and I had once been in love, and how when I'd run away, scared of Sasuke, Kakashi hadn't known that I was carrying Hanako in my tummy.

"Why was it a secret?" Hanako asked, confused. "If you're in love, then don't both the Mummy and the Daddy find out together?"

"Sometimes." Kakashi volunteered, "But your Mum and I had fallen out with each other. She was going to tell me about you but I was being an idiot. She was scared that I wouldn't be happy."

Hanako mulled it over thoughtfully. I bit my lip, anxiously awaiting her reaction. How were we going to manage if she rejected him? What could I say if she resented me for not telling the truth? But her keen, dark eyes simply met Kakashi's and she asked; "Are you happy?"

"Yes, Hanako." Kakashi simply said, creasing his eye cheerfully in the way that I knew meant he was hiding something. "I'm very happy."

She squirmed. "Can I go play with Bull now?"

I released her, staring as she promptly jumped on Bull's huge back, setting him off on a quick excited trot into the bedroom. I felt strange; almost relieved, but not quite.

"She took that better than I thought." Kakashi breathed, leaning back on the sofa with his fingers covering his eyes and rubbing tiredly.

"Hmm." I leaned forwards, resting on my knees. "You'll have to keep an eye on her, make sure there's no delayed reaction." He hummed quietly in response, and I turned to look at him over my shoulder. "I'm sorry that you were put on the spot like that."

"What do you mean?"

"Hanako asking if you were happy."

His hand fell away from his face and he stared at me with a little frown, hidden as always by that mask. "I was telling the truth." I raised an eyebrow at him pointedly and he sighed. "Well... alright, I'm not completely happy with the whole thing but I'm happy with her. I don't feel the way you do but..." He paused. "When I saw her look up to Sasuke as though she wanted his approval, it made me _so _angry. I don't remember being that angry since... since I found out what he did to you."

He paused, making sure that Hanako was totally out of earshot.

"I'm happy to have the chance to spend more time with her." He promised. "I just wish you could..." He paused. "Sorry. I know you wanted to stop all of this."

"You mean you and me?"

He gave me a significant look. "I'm not going to play the part of a lovelorn romantic hero, Sakura. You and I both know that it doesn't suit me."

"Kakashi..." I asked slowly, taking a deep breath and turning to face him on the sofa. "... Do you love me?"

He was silent for a long while, then shook his head. "You can't play games like these Sakura. You know that I'll bring Hanako to see you every day regardless of whether we're together or not."

"I know you will." I smiled sadly. "I just wanted to know, that's all."

.

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last few chapters- I'm trying to respond to as many as possible now! If you're still with me please drop a review... Things are going to get a lot less angsty from here on out!**


	16. An Extraordinarily Fortunate Man

"_Kakashi..." I asked slowly, taking a deep breath and turning to face him on the sofa. "... Do you love me?"_

_He was silent for a long while, then shook his head. "You can't play games like these Sakura. You know that I'll bring Hanako to see you every day regardless of whether we're together or not."_

"_I know you will." I smiled sadly. "I just wanted to know, that's all."_

.

"Good morning!" Ino called through from the Clinic reception as I finished setting Ten-ten's broken hand. Giving me a thankful smile, the weapons mistress flexed her fingers and pulled on the tube bandage. "Is the Doctor in?"

"One moment!" I called back, handing Ten-ten her weapons pouch and pushing open the door to let her through into the reception area.

In the weeks that had followed Sasuke's imprisonment and Hanako's placement with her Father, I'd somehow managed to completely throw myself into working at the clinic. Several ninja of my generation had begun using the little clinic as a stop off point either before or after reporting back to the Hokage post-mission. Those of the Rookie nine who had taken on genin teams would bring them to me to avoid hospital queues, and ANBU used me simply to maintain an element of secrecy that the hospital couldn't provide.

I'd seen beneath more masks working on a community service basis than I ever had as medic nin working as part of my own team, how strange that now I was under constant supervision (and had a seal tattooed on my tongue and ankle) it was safer to use my clinic than the hospital.

Tsunade had been under duress to tighten my security, and so an ANBU team had sealed my tongue in a style similar to Sai's ROOT seal, preventing me from talking about Konoha's ninja secrets at all. The tag on my ankle prevented me from leaving the confines of the Hokage tower enclosure.

Ten-ten nodded politely to Ino as she passed, and Ino smiled after her. "You're getting more ninja clients." She observed, grinning. "See? They trust you!"

And naturally I couldn't mention the seals.

"Where are the children?" I asked instead, looking around Ino's legs expectantly. "Aren't they visiting?"

Ino shrugged. "The qualifying test for the Academy are today. Sai is taking them to Kakashi's to play before they head down together."

"Shouldn't you be with your son?" I asked, startled. "Why are you visiting me?"

Ino simply shrugged. "I thought that you might need me more." She met my eyes, unashamed, straightforward and unwavering.

For a moment, I couldn't speak, so overwhelmed by the depth of feeling I could feel in Ino's words. The flighty, passionate girl I'd known had grown into this sincere, honest woman I almost couldn't recognise.

"Wow, Ino." I managed, raising an eyebrow. "You seem so mature."

Ino smirked. "Indeed." She walked past me into the private living area of my house. With a quick glance at my schedule to check that I had no appointments for a while, I pulled off my gloves, overcoat and hairband. "And I'll have another chance in a few years."

"All the same." I said, following her and leaning against the kitchen counter. "Thank you."

Sat on my sofa, Ino picked up one of the five photo frames I now kept on my coffee table. It was the one of Kakashi and Hanako sat together at the table eating ramen. It had been the day before Hanako was scheduled to move in with her father, and Kakashi had come over to help pack up her things.

I'd taken the photo just as Kakashi and Hanako were chatting, looking at each other. It wasn't posed, or particularly emotional, but it was a moment of normalcy between two family members who were still a little uncomfortable with each other, but slowly making progress.

As promised, Hanako had been brought to visit after school for a few hours every day by Kakashi. Sometimes he stayed and sometimes he disappeared up onto the roof of the house to give us at least the illusion of privacy.

Hanako spent the first fortnight of these visits clinging to me tightly, but since then seemed to be adjusting well enough, all things considered. She had taken to telling me all about how 'Masako-nee-san' was teaching her to sneak into the kitchen at nursery to get an extra cookie.

Whenever I asked Kakashi how she'd been, he'd just smile and tell me that both girls were no problem compared to Team 7, but I was very conscious of the fact that _that _wasn't an incredibly high bar by which to set the standard.

"It's a nice photograph." Ino smiled. "I've told Sai to take one of them at the Academy today, whether you frame it or not is up to you."

I'd made my wishes concerning Hanako's education very clear from the start- I did not want her to be a ninja. However, the council had regarded her as too valuable an asset and ordered that she be trained at the Academy as a Hatake. Hanako had been, of course, thrilled to have the chance to train as a ninja, and had leapt about the house pretending to fight baddies when she'd been told.

Thankfully, Kakashi had kept from talking about the aptitude test more than necessary, preferring to tell me about how Hanako was getting on with Masako, and how much she loved her new red dress with the white ring on it.

"Tea?" I offered, and Ino smiled gratefully.

"Thanks."

.

The last time Kakashi had attended the Academy Aptitude test has been on the day he himself had been tested for Chakra control. His father had stood at his side and held his shaking hand as the ninja in the flak vest had pressed his fingertips to Kakashi's forehead and fiddled around with his chakra system to assess his capabilities.

Just as he had held onto his father that day, Hanako clutched to him now, waiting in line to be tested. Unlike himself at that age, however, Hanako's grip was tight and firm with excitement. She watched the other children getting tested with a wide, almost vicious grin, and kept looking back to Yoshio behind her, holding onto Sai and his sister, eyes wide with nervousness.

Absolutely remarkable, that this little girl who had spent her entire life in danger and on the run was the only child in the room not absolutely terrified of the man at the front of the room.

It made his chest swell with pride, even if he knew that he had absolutely nothing to to with this girl's courage. Behind him, Sai was describing to his children in detail what the exact process was, which unfortunately only seemed to make both of them even more pant-wettingly terrified.

Meeting Kakashi's eye, Sai shook his head helplessly, utterly confused as to why his children weren't finding comfort in the fact that Iruka-sensei was 'only going to have a poke around inside the chakra network under your skin'.

On Kakashi's other side, Masako stood patiently, refusing to hold onto his hand. She was scared, he knew, but had been long accustomed to taking that fear and channeling it into motivation, so she kept her eyes on Iruka, and didn't spare her adoptive Father a glance as she stepped up to the front of the room to take her turn.

As expected, Iruka deemed her fit for training, and handed her an enrolment scroll to join the older children of Konoha in the intermediate class. Seemingly relieved that it was over, Masako gave Kakashi a tiny, determined smile before nodding to Hanako and stepping aside.

Hanako all but flew towards Iruka, grinning up at him excitedly as he smiled warmly back.

Kakashi flexed his fingers nervously, remembering how he himself had dragged his Father to stand beside him for his own testing, and musing a little forlornly at how both children under his care seemed just fine without him.

Much as his students had been.

But after Iruka handed Hanako her enrolment scroll for the Primary class, and she joined Masako off to the side. The girls linked hands and grinned proudly over to Kakashi, and he tucked his hands into his pockets, walking over to the two girls as Yoshio and Sai moved towards Iruka.

"Well done." He grinned down at them both quietly. "You were both very brave."

Praise at which Masako rolled her eyes and Hanako smirked pityingly, both shrugging off his words yet separating to allow him between them, and both looping their arms through his on either side.

As the rest of the Konoha children were tested, Kakashi couldn't help but think that he was an extraordinarily fortunate man to be able to stand here like this, so proud and so carefree compared to this time last year, when he had been missing so much without even realising it.

"After this is over." He whispered as Yoshio was handed an enrolment scroll. "Shall we go to buy some ice cream?"

"Can we take some back to Mum, too?" Hanako squeaked.

"Of course." Kakashi murmured. "But we'll have to go and take your scrolls home first- we don't want to lose them or get them mucky."

"And..." Masako whispered back. "We don't want to remind her that you'll be a ninja soon."

The statement caught Kakashi off guard, and he looked down at the dark haired girl in surprise. Her face said she didn't mean the words maliciously, but there was a cold astuteness in her eye, an awareness of what she was saying.

Sakura and Kakashi had been careful not to say anything for or against the enrolment of Hanako once the Council had made their choice, but Masako had obviously picked up on the unspoken feelings of the imprisoned woman.

Equally stunned by her sister's words, Hanako looked down at her scroll with wide eyes, and the excitement that had lit up her face just moments before seemed to fall away. The hand holding the scroll, previously clutched tightly to her chest, fell to her side, and she said nothing for the rest of the ceremony.

Kakashi wasn't built to deal with this, and he didn't know what to say without lying... so he stood in silence too.

.

When his little family and Sai's met at the ice cream stall, Hanako had mostly recovered. She licked her ice cream cheerfully with the Yamanaka siblings. Masako, meanwhile, sat with the two adults and drank iced tea quietly.

"Daddy." Hanako chirped easily, and Kakashi found himself raising his head reflexively. "Tell Yoshio and Makino that my Mum is stronger than their Mum!" (1)

Kakashi blinked, uncomprehending, but Sai was instantly in 'Dad' mode, crossing his arms with a smirk. "Hey hey hey, what are you saying, Hanako? There's no way that's true." He nudged Kakashi with a raised eyebrow.

Yoshio and Makino cheered together and Kakashi looked to Sai incredulously. "What? But thats not true at all." He shook his head and turned to Masako. "Everyone in our team was terrified of her when she was younger. She was able to punch Naruto so hard that he flew right over the Hokage monument once."

He wasn't sure why that made Hanako cheer loudly and dance around, but it was funny to watch. At his side, Masako stared into her drink as though lost in thought. Sai pretended to pout playfully. "What? I wasn't scared of her!"

Finally, Kakashi caught wind of the game, and flapped his hand dismissively in front of his face. "No? Then why did you stop calling her nasty names when you were kids?"

"Firstly, we weren't kids at sixteen. Secondly, I simply learned how to behave properly around women... something that my other teammates never bothered to do."

"Including me?"

"Especially you."

"Hahaha! Daddies are funny." Hanako declared, and Makino giggled at her side. Yoshio, however, stormed about loudly, deciding that Hanako's Mum _couldn't _be stronger because Hanako-chan was too much of a princess-brat.

"Princess-brat, Princess-brat!" He chanted as Hanako flushed bright red, earning yet more giggles from Makino and prompting her to join her brother's chanting. "Princess-brat! Princess-brat!"

Masako smiled wanly at the younger children, but stood up and set down her drink with Kakashi. He blinked at her dazedly as she smoothed out the wrinkles in her simple yukata. "Is everything alright, Masako?"

"Sure, Dad." She smirked wryly. "I'm just a little tired. I can make my own way home."

"Well... if you're sure."

She bowed slightly to Sai, and gave Hanako a kiss on the top of her head. "Later."

"Bye bye Masako nee-san!" Hanako called, prompting the other children to call out the same. Masako blew them a kiss over her shoulder as she walked away, causing Kakashi's eyes to narrow.

That was what she did when she was about to walk into the lion's den.

He moved to stand, but Sai cleared his throat. "It's fine." He whispered as the children fought to sit on each other's shoulders to wave at Masako. "She'll be safe. I have a mouse following her."

So Kakashi allowed himself to sit back and bask in the happy laughter of the three children around him. He'd never been this close to children like this- just sitting and keeping a watchful eye on them as they played, completely carefree.

He'd grown up too quickly, in too many ways -he thought ruefully, looking up at his grey hair- and he'd never spent time with the children of his generation long enough to forge a relationship. The only children he'd really dealt with had been either his own team or children he dealt with on missions. Even Masako had been a child he'd brought up fighting but here, sitting by an ice cream kiosk with two children just going into school and a toddler, he keenly regretted never just stopping for a moment.

Maybe it was time to retire from field duty.

He could become an office worker with the Hokage (which required attending things on time), a full time teacher (at the risk of screwing up yet _more _children) or a supervisor with one of the Special Ops divisions.

Hanako turned and gave him a sunny smile that he didn't quite recognize, but appreciated all the same, and he sighed, stretching out his long legs in front of him and tilting his chin back to look at the sky.

He'd never thought he could feel so light and free inside the walls of Konoha, but here he was with Sai, feeling surprisingly wonderful. It was in his nature to wander, to be the _lone wolf_ as it were, but even the greatest and wildest of youths aged and found things that were better, that were simply more fulfilling than the strange but addictive combination of guilt and pride that came with each kill made in the name of the Hokage.

And this... it _was _better. Other men had found it sooner than he- even his own students had discovered this joy before him.

And one day his daughters would find it too.

Oh.

What was _that?_

He slowly lowered his gaze from the sky and levelled it at the pink haired child guiding the younger girl by the hand as they chased after Yoshio. Stumbling and laughing as they played, these children were enjoying those few free months before they really learned what living in Konoha meant.

In a year, maybe less, maybe more, their happy laughs would become sharper, more aware as the determination took them over. It was something he hadn't truly grasped until now but- children in the school by Taniyama's onsen didn't have the same look about them that Konoha children did.

In Konoha, even the civilian children learned the basics of self defence from an early age; it was _irresponsible_ to not know how to kill a man when you lived with those who lived and breathed death. In the small tourist town that Sakura had once sought refuge in, no one else knew where to punch in the throat to collapse the windpipe, and none of the children knew that once the ligaments at the heel were cut, there was little chance of walking away.

Hanako would learn, in just a few weeks time, how to lame an attacker with a simple swipe of a kunai.

Those hands were barely big enough to handle chopsticks correctly.

"What's wrong?" Sai hummed peaceably, and Kakashi turned to look the younger man in the eyes. Sai had been raised a warrior with no emotions, the concept of warmth and love had been foreign to him until very late in his life. Even though he was as good and sympathetic as even Naruto himself, he wasn't one to tolerate ignorance.

Sai had seen the very darkest parts of humanity, and sheltering his children from that would be nothing short of irresponsible.

"Nothing." Kakashi smiled. "I'm just thinking."

Kakashi too, had been raised to fight. He had fended for himself from an early age when his father's suicide left him alone.

But Minato had taken him in, given him everything he could need. He had always moved forward with the purpose of becoming the best, but he had been sheltered for the younger years of his life by those who cared for him.

He had grown up in wartime, but he had been protected.

He had, in turn, done his best to protect his students and yet lost them to savagery when the time for war came.

He knew in his soul that it was better to kill than be killed, better to know how to survive than to be left as an orphan at the roadside... but when he thought of Hanako having that _hardness _about her he felt nauseous.

Shaking himself, he stood. "Hanako, lets go to see your Mum, ok?"

Yoshio and Makino pouted and moaned at the loss of their playmate, but Hanako was all smiles and skipping as she took Kakashi's hand and practically dragged him away. Laughing softly, Kakashi waved back to Sai.

Sai blinked, confused, and his lips curved upwards in one of his weirdly unreadable little smiles.

"Later, Kakashi."

.

Ino and I were laughing at a story of something Naruto had done (while I was... gone) and drinking sake having long since given up on trying to entertain ourselves with Tea alone.

"A-and he never even noticed!" Ino spluttered. "He just kept asking whether he could have the 'sweets' in the coloured wrappers!"

I threw my head back and shrieked with mirth, picturing Hinata's red face as her lover tried to steal a box of tampons from her purse. "How did he find out that they weren't sweets?"

"I'm not sure he ever did." Ino wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Sai took him training before he had the chance to open one!"

I almost dropped my cup as we both had to hunch over with the pain of laughing too hard. I couldn't remember laughing so hard in _years_. Ino plucked the empty cup from my grasp and walked over to the kitchen counter, setting them down with a calming breath in.

The sound of a gentle knock announced Kakashi's return before an ANBU pushed the door open for him. Kakashi sent the young man a withering glare as Hanako simply chirped a "Thank you Raccoon-san!" before skipping through the lounge to me.

"Shoes, Hanako." I reprimanded, out of habit, and she stepped out of them as easily as she breathed before clambering onto my lap for a cuddle. Gasping for breath as she squeezed too tightly around my neck, I kissed the top of her head and stroked her back as she curled against my breast, squirming until she was comfortable. "Someone's in a good mood." I grinned over her head to Kakashi and he winked cheerily.

"Ice cream." He sounded amused as he moved to sit beside me on the sofa, one arm draped over the back of the sofa easily. "She and the Yamanakas were running around the grassy area by Joni's store for ages."

"Oh, he's still in business?" I raised my eyebrows. "That's good... he must be so _old _now?"

"Eighty two last month." Kakashi leant his head against his arm, watching me intently. "But his hairs still not as grey as mine."

I giggled, and hiccuped in surprise as Ino snorted behind me.

"Jeez, forget I'm here why don't you?"

"Ino!" I grinned in apology as I turned my face to see her better over my shoulder- when had I turned to face Kakashi?- "Ah-sorry!"

"No matter." Ino winked saucily over at Kakashi, and swayed her gorgeous curves over to the door. "I want to see my two as soon as possible now anyway." as the door was opened for her, I almost missed the slight twitch of an annoyed eyebrow before she replaced her look of good humour. "Later!"

The door shut behind her and I sighed, resting my head back and bumping it against Kakashi's hand by accident. "Ah- Sorr-"

He simply smiled and moved his fingers to run through my hair gently. "I see Ino's as much of a whirlwind as ever."

I hummed in agreement. "I'm still trying to figure out her ulterior motives, but I'm still glad of the support."

Hanako twisted in my lap to lay down across both of us, sprawling over the knees of both parents with an exhausted sigh.

"Tired?" I asked, tickling her ankles gently. She squirmed and raised her head to look at me.

"No." She pouted. "Only just got here."

Kakashi patted her head gently. "It's ok, I won't take you home until you've spent an hour with your mum _awake._ Nap now, we can go home later."

"You can put her in my bed." I suggested, already taking her by the middle and lifting her easily to fit against my side. She was bigger than she'd been only a few months ago when I'd done the same in front of Taniyama's onsen house... before any of our past had resurfaced. So much was happening- she'd be a graduate of the Academy in no time and I probably wouldn't be able to attend her graduation.

Kakashi stood and followed me to my room, helping me tuck our daughter in securely and -in a moment so bizarre that it almost made me burst out in inappropriate giggles- bent to kiss her on the forehead (without his mask) before we left.

He saw me watching him from the corner of my eye as he closed the door. I quickly turned away but he'd already tugged his mask back up and had an eyebrow raised at me in silent question.

"Sorry." I managed, running a hand through my hair with a wry smile. "I was just-"

"Didn't you want me to bond with her?" He asked tiredly, but the sharpness in his eye belied his tone and I smiled.

"Maybe I changed my mind." I smirked.

He nodded thoughtfully. "Oh?"

"Maybe I want her all to myself."

"Your reasoning being?"

"You're a terrible role model?"

"Ah." He smirked. "I'll have you know that I am a highly respected member of society-"

"In a society that nominated a drunken gambler as Hokage..."

"_and_ only two thirds of my students ever go rogue."

I laughed. "You're right. How could I ever have thought you irresponsible..."

"I thought as much." He laughed softly and sat back in his previous seat. "Besides, I couldn't very well give up my daughter now. Not when we're getting on so well."

I sat down beside him, sitting sideways with my legs crossed. "So it's going well?" I asked, unconsciously letting my anxiousness show. "I mean... all settled?"

He patted my knee reassuringly. "Yes. She loves her bedroom, and Ino's kids live pretty close, and Masako is surprising even herself with how well she's taken to having a sister."

"Poor Kakashi." I teased, pinching his bicep lightly. "Going from being an eligible ninja bachelor to a father-of-two in less than a season."

"Woe is me."

We both chuckled lightly and I leaned against the back of the sofa, watching him fondly. His hand still rested comfortably on my knee as we fell silent, breathing in sync with each other without even realizing until his eyes flicked to meet mine.

I'd been doing my best to just keep on keeping on, the way I had for five years before he'd ever found me. I didn't _need _him, not anymore; I'd proved to myself that I could survive and look after my child without the help of any teammates... without even a Village...

But.

Oh, it was nice to have all that back, despite the politics of it all, despite the _strength_ of the feelings that assaulted me with every familiar face, it surprised me just how much I craved the love and the support that was offered so unconditionally. The love that I'd taken for granted before I'd left was just so valuable now that I feared my heart would break.

I didn't even realise that I was pulling his mask down.

I didn't notice that his hand was sliding up my thigh.

I only caught up with myself when I was pulling him down on top of me.

.

He almost didn't believe it was happening, but the warmth of her hands -one on the back of his neck, just tickling the small hairs at the base of his skull, and the other pressing insistently against the small of his back- and the tightness of her muscles beneath him assured his it was true. It was happening.

He was just... He was an extraordinarily fortunate man.

.

**Apologies for lateness. My new flat had no internet... and a rather worrying gas leak that resulted in me being sent to A&E!  
><strong>

**(1) I was originally going to say 'makes better onigiri' but then re read it and was so disgusted with myself I had to go and bash my head against a wall! Ninja ladies don't COOK competitively. Thats just crazy.**


	17. Agoraphobia

**Curse you anonymous comments! I cannot respond when you have a problem with something I say! **

**Haha, ok, to 'Guest'- Yes the village has treated her badly, and its all a bit shitty right now, but the phrase about 'support' wasn't necessarily about the Council or even Tsunade... it was about her friends. The fact is (and I know I've only alluded to this vaguely) that Sakura was a _top ranking missing nin_. She isn't innocent anymore. She's done some terrible things in order to survive and _that_ isn't the council's fault, or even Sasuke's.**

**She does deserve to be locked up, and the logic of the council is that a criminal can't raise a well-adjusted child... no exceptions. Sakura's enjoying the comfort that her friends are providing, but don't worry! This isn't the end yet!**

**/rant**

**Oh also... TIMESKIP! (Don't worry- you'll still find out what's happening with Masako)**

.

_He almost didn't believe it was happening, but the warmth of her hands -one on the back of his neck, just tickling the small hairs at the base of his skull, and the other pressing insistently against the small of his back- and the tightness of her muscles beneath him assured his it was true. It was happening._

_He was just... He was an extraordinarily fortunate man._

.

Hanako woke slowly, face pressed against the floor, with a pounding headache.

"Ah..." She mumbled, sleepily trying to find her own arms. One was crossed over her back, the other lying flat on the floor. "... shit."

Hanako pushed herself upright, ignoring the painful tingling in her arms, and rubbed her eyes. She'd had that dream again.

The one where she was in the dark.

Running her fingers through short pink strands, the girl stood, walking over to the window and throwing it open- it was _okay_. She was safe in her Father's house... in Konoha.

With a tiny, proud smirk, Hanako placed her hands solidly on her hips. She was a fully fledged Genin! At last! A life's ambition had been realised, and she was on the path to becoming as famous as her Dad.

Life was _good_.

"Hanako!" A furious shout echoed through the house, causing the young girl to immediately slip into a defensive posture, back against the wall. "You greedy little cow!"

If she jumped through the window now- she might escape...

No such luck. Masako caught Hanako's wrist just as she managed to get one leg over the windowsill. Hanako was tugged back, twisted off balance, and landed solidly -elbow first- on her older sister.

Masako's long black hair was clipped off her face- showing Hanako every twitching vein in that alabaster forehead of hers. "Umm... Masako..." Hanako said slowly. "... what's wrong?"

"You know exactly what's wrong _brat_." Masako snarled. "What on earth do you think you're doing sneaking into my room?"

"Girls, girls..." The two stilled, mouths snapping shut as their father appeared on the very windowsill Hanako had been trying to escape through. "What's happened this time?"

Kakashi looked down at his two daughters with one dark eye, but both girls seemed to have decided that ratting the other out to their parent was simply not going to happen, and they simply looked up at him wordlessly.

Giving up- as he was prone to doing when raising two adolescent daughters, Kakashi sighed and tapped the windowsill twice. "Fun's over. Masako, let your sister go. Hanako... apologise to Masako."

"What?!" Hanako wailed. "That's not fair!" Masako released the younger girl immediately, standing up with her hand behind her back. She _appeared _to be chastened, and regretful... but Kakashi had taught her that look.

"Both of you apologise to each other."

"WHY AM I APOLOGISING?" Hanako shrieked, eyes wide and wounded (she'd been spending too much time with Naruto, Kakashi mused regretfully) "What have I done wrong?"

"You sneaked into Masako's room." He scolded. "How would you like it if she did the same to you?"

"She has done!" Hanako seethed. "You both have! You're both in my room right now!"

Oh God. What did Kakashi _do _to deserve two teenage girls?

"Hanako, stop complaining and apologise." Kakashi repeated, a little more snappish than before. "We're visiting your Mum today." Silently, Masako smirked. Kakashi didn't miss it, but it didn't really matter. "Masako, do you want to come and visit too?"

"No, no." The pretty dark haired girl smiled sweetly. "You two should spend time with Sakura as a family."

Fair enough, Kakashi shrugged, but Hanako grabbed his elbow as he turned to leave. "Dad, seriously?"

"What?"

"How come Masako _always _gets to choose what she does? It's not-!"

"Not fair." Kakashi tilted his head to the side and patted Hanako's bed head gently. "Firstly, Masako's older than you. And already a Chuunin. It's up to her how she spends her days off work." He winked (sort of) at Masako over Hanako's head. "And besides- you only want the day to go and see Yoshio, right? Your poor mother- dumped for a _boy_."

Hanako flushed bright red and turned to glare at her sister accusingly. Kakashi took the chance to escape.

"You told him!" Hanako accused her sister furiously. "You're so nasty!"

Masako raised an eyebrow at her little sister, shaking her head incredulously. "Of course I didn't. Idiot- Dad's a high class ninja... exactly what do you think you can keep from him?" She tossed her enviably long hair over one shoulder and ruffled Hanako's hair playfully. "I'll see you tonight then. Have fun at your Mum's house."

"How come you never come with us?" Hanako asked, seemingly forgetting all of her previous fury at her sister and heading over to rummage through the immaculately tidied wardrobe. "She's very good at tutoring on Survival skills for missions."

"If that's all she teaches then I'm really not missing out on much." Masako sighed. "I'm amazed she doesn't try to teach you anything else."

"What else would she teach me?" Hanako frowned, confused. "She's a doctor, not a ninja." She laughed slightly at the idea of _her _Mother trying to carry out a mission.

Masako eyed Hanako for a long moment in silence. When Hanako turned back to her, fresh clothes at the ready, Masako's expression was wry once more. "I'll be going then."

"Hey, Masako?"

"Hmm?"

"Where do you go when Dad and I visit Mum?"

"..." Masako blinked, surprised. "... Why?"

The pink haired twelve year old shrugged. "Just curious. You act weird when you come back."

Haughty again, Masako lifted her chin arrogantly. "None of your business." She sniffed, and turned on her heel, stalking out of the room. "Don't go snooping in my room again Hanako, or you'll regret it!"

"As if I'd go in _your _stinky room anyway!" Hanako shouted back, stripping off her nightshirt and throwing it to the floor. "Jeez."

.

"There." I smiled, tapping the knee of the injured child gently. "All fixed."

Blinking hard to fight back the tears, the brown haired boy looked to his father and held out his arms. Rushing to his side, the civilian man gathered his son against his chest with a grateful smile at me.

"Thank you so much Doctor." He breathed. "I didn't know what to do when his fever went up like that..."

"That's understandable. Campylobacteriosis can be scary in a child this young. I extracted most of the bacteria so that should speed up the process- but I'd wait a day or so before sending him back to school. He'll need to pass the rest of it naturally." I washed my hands thoroughly as the young father set his son back down on the floor. "Make sure you both wash hands properly after going to the toilet, and use the painkillers if the cramps come back. Otherwise he should be fine."

"Thank you." He smiled again, looking down at his son. "Bari, say 'thank you' to the Doctor properly."

"Fanks." Bari muttered shyly, gripping his Dad's trousers tightly.

I bade the last of my day's patients goodbye, and changed from my uniform quickly, tossing the contaminated clothing into the washing machine and setting the temperature high.

As I entered the residential area of my little house, I smiled in the vague direction of the ANBU guard. "Tea?" I offered politely, but received no answer. I sighed, pouring out two cups anyway. "It's there if you want it." I said mildly, and sat myself down in my armchair with a sigh. "I've only got two more years here. How strange."

I'd spent longer in this house than I had on active duty as a Konoha ninja... not wasn't that a disturbing thought? This was the only way that Hanako really remembered me- the agoraphobic Doctor living in the Hokage grounds for reasons that she'd never really questioned since she started the Academy.

When Hanako enrolled in the Academy, the council had ordered a blanket silence on my past as a ninja- similar to that of Naruto's Jinchuuriki status. Not so harshly enforced, but it had been decided that Hanako needed to grow up trusting Konoha, and the best way to do that was to hide the fact that her own Mum had defected.

Needless to say the decision had been hotly contested, but even Tsunade had agreed that it was for the best, and so I had no one high ranked enough to fight my side. Keeping Hanako faithful and true to the ideals of Konoha meant keeping my past a secret until she reached Jounin status, when it was assumed she'd be indoctrinated enough to brand me a madwoman for my choices.

Surprisingly, even Kakashi had been against the law. He'd defended my right as a Mother to tell my daughter the truth- his opinions had been dismissed on the basis that he was too close to me.

After spending three years tentatively rekindling our relationship, Kakashi had been called to the Hokage's office and given a choice: He could continue seeing me, or he could continue active duty.

For some, it would be an easy choice.

For Kakashi...

"Knock knock." Kakashi called, tapping in time and swinging the door open. I smiled warmly over my teacup at the two figures in the doorway. Kakashi breezed in ahead of Hanako and bent to give me a chaste kiss on the forehead. "Good morning." He breathed gently, and I grasped his hand reassuringly.

"How are my two favourite visitors?" I asked, letting Kakashi's hand go as he moved to sit opposite me on the sofa. "Keeping well?"

Hanako grinned and closed the door respectfully behind her. "It's good to see you Mum." She crossed the room and bent to give me a big hug, almost knocking my tea from my hand. "How are you feeling?"

"I think I asked first." I teased.

"Hanako has a boyfriend." Kakashi chuckled, and Hanako's face reddened in embarrassment. "She's been sneaking out to meet Yoshio instead of training."

"Dad!" My daughter hissed, running over to clamp both hands over his mouth. "No I'm not! Jeez."

"Konohamaru's been telling me everything. He keeps seeing them on his walk home- at Ichiraku's." He winked cheerfully as Hanako flopped onto the sofa, defeated.

I laughed softly, causing Hanako to groan loudly. "He's not my boyfriend." She protested, muffled by the cushion she was face down in. "We're just friends."

"And where are your teammates in all of this?" I asked, "Don't Genin ninjas have teams?"

"Training hard, I believe." Kakashi sighed wistfully. "I often see them in the forest on my way out of the Village."

"If our team could go on missions like you, then I wouldn't be getting fat on ramen with Yoshio." Hanako pouted, "I blame the system!"

"You have missions." I scolded, remembering my own Genin days. "They're very important to Konoha..."

"Catching cats and helping harvest crops don't count as missions." Hanako protested. "It's grunt work!" She shook her head, frustrated. "Sorry, I know you don't really understand ninja stuff."

"Still." I said, reaching across to flick her ear. "This is what you signed up for. I'm sure your Father had to do the same... right Kakashi?"

He signed and smiled apologetically. "Well actually back in my day we were at war so..."

"You were meant to say 'yes'." Hanako muttered, rubbing her ear and sitting up to cast a pitying look to Kakashi. "When she uses that tone, she just wants you to agree with her."

Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed slightly, and I had to bite back a smirk as he eyed me suspiciously. "That explains a lot."

"If you never noticed these things then it's no wonder you two didn't work out." Hanako said dismissively. "You must have been a nightmare, Dad."

To this, Kakashi seemed unable to respond, and simply cast his eyes downwards. Before Hanako could catch the guilty expression on his face I forced a light-hearted laugh and stood up, stretching. "Well, Hanako." My daughter sat upright, dark eyes curious and wide. "I don't think I've given you your graduation present yet." The promise of a gift set the young girls face alight, and she immediately got up off the sofa to wrap her arms around me tightly.

Laughingly telling her to calm down, I backed into the kitchenette and bent to look in the cupboard under the sink, where I'd hidden the brightly coloured wrapped package.

"Here." I handed it to her with a smile. "I thought this would come in useful."

Not even pausing to appreciate my immaculate wrapping skills, Hanako tore the package open and held up the soft new garment with an inquisitive smile. "You got me... leggings?"

"They're reinforced. I had a friend make them specially for you." I watched, amused, as my daughter measured the length of the leggings against her legs. "They've got some growing room in them length-wise, but they're as tough as the ANBU uniform. You can probably fall off a cliff and your legs wouldn't even be bruised- not that I'm suggesting you try that." I added quickly, catching the mischievous glint in the glance Hanako cast towards the door. "It's a precaution."

"Oh wow." Hanako grinned. "How much did this cost?"

"Just say thank you, Hanako." Kakashi chided, and cast me an aggrieved look. "This makes my gift look useless."

"Not true." Hanako defended, turning to face her father earnestly. "I love my new locket!" She glanced back to me with a small grin. "And thank you so much Mum." She hugged me again. "Is it ok if I go train in them?"

"Of course." I smiled, rubbing her arm affectionately. "Don't let us keep you."

"Maybe Masako will help you train." Kakashi supplied, and Hanako cast him an unreadable look, as though trying to figure something out.

"Maybe." Was all she said, and she charged out of the door eagerly, leaving Kakashi and I alone, in a curiously silent room.

I sighed slightly and turned to face him, eyebrow raised. "A locket?" I asked. "How sweet. What did you get for Masako? I don't remember." I crossed the room to sit back in my chair, sipping my cooling tea peaceably. "The same?"

Kakashi paused, eyes raising to the ceiling thoughtfully. "You know, I don't remember either. How strange." He hummed mildly, and with a sigh, tugged his mask off his face. I never quite got over how young he looked without it; the lack of sun damage kept the skin clear and the constant rubbing of his mask prevented any substantial stubble growing. I smiled fondly, and absently rubbed my hands against the teacup.

"You've done so well to raise them together on your own." I couldn't keep the regret from my voice, but nodded firmly when he looked at me. "I mean, I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"So am I." He murmured. "And me too. Sorry I couldn't be there..." his lips curved upwards, wry. "All the times I wasn't there."

"You've mostly made up for it. You're a better Father than I expected you to be... I thought any child in your care would almost definitely die." He pouted in mock insult and I looked back to the door. "But Hanako's turned out so well. Even if she's become a ninja."

He shifted uncomfortably, and said nothing. Surprised that he didn't speak up in defence of the village, I met his eyes, a question on the tip of my tongue. He looked to the windows, anxious and alert, and I understood- he can't say what he wants to. We're being watched too closely.

But he can't possibly agree with me? He loves the village more than anything.

Including me.

He's always hated hurting his friends. I'll always remember the shame in his eyes as he told me how he just couldn't face retirement. The day he'd held my hand and told me that he loved me, but he couldn't be with me.

Well I wasn't one to allow myself to be second-best, and I'd been cold-but-friendly with him ever since.

"I'm sure you have business to take care of." I snipped, remembering myself and forcing the coldness back into my face. "I'll see you next weekend."

"Oh, right..." Kakashi mumbled, looking guilty again. He stood slowly, popping his joints with a sigh, and looked at me thoughtfully. "How long has it been since I made that choice?"

I scowled, refusing to look at him petulantly. "How would I know? I don't keep track." Liar liar, pants on fire.

"Five years, I think." He moved to stand at my side, hand lifting a few strands of my hair and running them through his fingers. "Would it make you feel any better if I told you that I regretted it?"

"Why would you say that?" I asked sharply, still not looking at him. My shoulders tensed as he bent so that he was at eye level and still not wearing his mask. "Can't you stand by your decisions anymore?"

"Maybe not." He whispered against my hair, and I risked a look at him. "I can't tell you much more here." I couldn't look away, my eyes wide and breath caught as he pursed his lips gently in annoyance. "I have a lot to tell you once you're released."

If only he wouldn't keep doing that.

He'd been dancing around this for years.

Hints and suggestions, veiled beyond recognition in front of our growing daughter. Suggestions I couldn't make sense of really, because they seemed to suggest that Kakashi was planning something illegal, and he wouldn't do that.

He wouldn't leave the village for me.

"Do you need me to show you out?" I breathed, grasping for any measure of calm I could muster, and standing up sharply, almost head-butting Kakashi in my haste.

He was silent behind me as I stood, attempting to return my breathing to normal. Nothing had even happened! Why was I this out of it?

But as Kakashi passed me by, I grabbed his sleeve, forcing him to look at me.

His mask was back up, but he met my eyes with a determination and steeliness I'd not seen since he brought me back to Konoha. I searched his one visible eye for whatever it was that he was trying to tell me, but all I could see were echoes of past experiences and hopes that had come to nothing time and time again.

"We're too old and jaded to be dancing around things like this." I said, voice low. "If you have something that you need to tell me..."

He said nothing, but his hand came up to grip my forearm tightly. After a moment, his insistent grip made my eyes widen in understanding, and I fought the urge to look down lest it give away our silent agreement to those watching.

"I just don't like seeing you kept in a small place like this." Kakashi said, speaking clever half-truths to keep up our charade. "I still care for you Sakura, and the sooner you can see your daughter in the sunlight the better."

With a final squeeze that I was sure would leave a bruise on my long-untrained body, Kakashi turned and left me alone in the small house once more.

I crossed my arms and went to look out of the window, rubbing my bruised arm as I watched Kakashi walk slowly back towards his house, hands shoved deep into his pockets. When I heard the gentle thud of two feet behind me, I already knew who today's guard had been. "Is everything alright?" Shikamaru asked coolly. "Jeez, what's that old man thinking? It's not as if you have long left in here."

"I'm fine." I smiled, meeting Shikamaru's eyes. "I think he's just stressed."

"Two teenage daughters can be a handful, I guess." Shikamaru grunted. "Troublesome."

"Hanako's only just turned thirteen." I reminded him. "Kids just grow up fast around here." They have to.

Shikamaru hummed to himself, and simply shoved his hands in his pockets. He wasn't in ANBU uniform- I wasn't even sure if he'd taken that promotion. He was just dressed in standard jounin uniform, with his hair still in that weird pineapple but now sporting a beard like his old man's. "Doesn't he know about the appeal?"

"Hmm? I didn't think I was allowed to tell him."

Shikamaru spared me a glance before turning and mooching into the kitchenette. "Not really- but I'd have thought Naruto would let slip."

Naruto had managed to get the council to consider reducing my sentence. If all went well I'd be out within days... but if not, then I'd still have to see the rest of the two years out here, then an extra six months for 'daring to ask for a lighter sentence'.

Naruto was confident that I'd be granted monitored release on the basis that I'd not said anything that could be conceived at traitorous to Konoha in years, and that I'd spent my entire imprisonment treating anyone who came to me.

Even though in the beginning, I'd received a lot of abuse from my patients. Particularly ninjas who'd worked with Sasuke.

Things were easier though, eight years on.

Shikamaru checked the time and before I had the chance to say anything, he was gone once more.

Sighing, and left to my own devices, I headed into my bedroom. the bland, worn bedcovers were soft as I crawled under the covers and inspected the bruises on my arm with an odd sense of detachment. When I'd had my muscles, when my body had been kept in top condition as a weapon, something like this wouldn't have marked me. It was another reminder that I was wasting away in this cottage, in this tiny cell in the shadow of the Hokage Tower.

You were right about Hanako.

I'd not expected the words to appear on my arm so soon, and my breath hitched in surprise. Our old way of communicating had been monitored carefully for a long time. As time went on the village had dropped their guard, and perhaps it was sympathy that meant that I was allowed more time to myself in moments like this.

Thoughtfully, I waited for him to elaborate, but as Kakashi often did, he left me waiting.

Nothing else appeared on me until much later, when I was getting dressed for bed.

We need to get her away from this life.

.

Masako swilled the glass in her hand absently, watching with narrowed eyes as her companions laughed and shoved each other boisterously. The sharp smell of warm sake and smoke mixed in the tiny bar, choking her, making her eyes sting.

"Hey, Masako." One of the older boys, Jin, took a long drag of his cigarette, watching her through narrowed eyes. "You're not flaking on us now, are you?"

"Not at all." Masako smiled softly, "Do you have the money?"

Jin smiled, and held out his hand to one of the girls- Masako hadn't bothered to remember her name- handed him an envelope. Jin passed it to Masako easily, sitting back in his chair as she counted the money.

"This seems correct." She nodded, and tucked the envelope into her shirt. She was aware that Jin's eyes lingered a little too long on her as she did so, but thought little of it; she was used to the seedier side of the underworld from her rather unconventional childhood.

Even after being granted a meal ticket, Masako had managed to find trouble again.

If Kakashi or Hanako found out...

She forced the image of their faces away for a moment, and took a deep breath. "The next Chuunin exams will be taking place in Suna." She said in a low voice. "As always, the Hokages will be there to watch and support the victors from the first round."

Once an informant, always an informant.

"The first test is simple in its concept." Jin was leaning in close, ears catching every word. "All the teams will be places in caves in the ground, separately. The first to get out will progress to the second round." She caught the way Jin's eyes flicked to his two teammates, watching from the bar, and the way his eyes lingered on the smallest, a boy by the name of Hiro. "Choose how you get out carefully. If a teammate dies the whole team is disqualified."

He didn't ask how she got the information. No one ever did.

"And the second task?"

"That's not what you asked me to find out." She smiled, and slid out from behind the table, evading his grasping hand as she got the hell out of there before all hell broke loose.

She heard the sound of the girl-teammate shout after her, but Jin hissed for her to be quiet, and simply tried to charge after her. Used to these situations, Masako stepped to the side once exiting the bar, and lifted herself cleanly onto the rood of the bar, darting out and through the window of the next building.

The bad part of Konoha was nothing compared to what she'd been used to, she thought with a smug smirk, and flattened herself to the wall as Jin and his team rushed out into the day lit streets, shouting curses as they tried to find their rat.

"Aren't you Kakashi's girl?" A voice- male, asked from the other end of the room. Startled, Masako whipped her head around and narrowed her eyes at the man sitting at a low table across the room. "What are you doing around here?"

"Got in a fight." Masako replied, shortly. "Training with some rivals got out of hand."

The man nodded calmly, gesturing for her to sit down. She didn't. "You'll forgive me if I don't believe you."

Tensing, Masako gripped the windowsill behind her. This man knew her father. She couldn't simply run away. "Why don't you believe me?"

He tapped his ear lazily. "I hear everything that goes on around here." He stood, bowing his head slightly. "Including some interesting information about you."

"You're... Kano, right? One of the Uchiha's old teammates?"

"Briefly." Kano smiled. "And you sell secrets." He clicked his tongue chidingly. "Not the best way to thank the village that raised you. You should be swearing undying loyalty to the Hokage for granting you refuge."

"I was raised to do this." Masako hissed. "I wasn't brought here until Hanako was- not because I was okay living in the underworld, but because I was too useful to bring in. I owe this village nothing."

"Are you jealous of your sister?"

Masako blinked, and tugged on her sleeves self-consciously. "... No. I love Hanako."

Kano shook his head. "You don't sound very convincing." He shrugged, as though it really didn't bother him. "But that's not why I wanted to find you- yes I wanted to find you. You're not as elusive as you think you are." Masako shut her mouth, chastened. "Sit down. I have a job for you."

He shifted slightly, revealing the bag beside him to her. It looked as though it was filled with notes- more than she'd make off any desperate Genin looking for exam secrets, no matter how rich their family was.

"Sit."

She obeyed, and Kano smiled welcomingly. "What is it you want to know?" Masako asked, slipping back into her cool, professional demeanour. Her back was a little straighter, her eyes narrowed again. She was in control of this. This was what she did.

"I want to know who's going to be deciding Haruno's fate tomorrow." Kano said, leaning on the table with calculating eyes. "I want to know how they'll be voting."

Ignoring the twist in her gut, Masako smiled. "Easy. What else?" At his raised eyebrow, she smirked. "Someone like you doesn't bring that much money for a question like that."

"You're right." He chuckled. "I have another request... I want to know where Sasuke Uchiha's being kept, and who has the key to his cell."

The twist in her gut sharpened, but the glint in Kano's eye chilled her, and fear won over guilt in the end.

It always had.

"Consider it done."


	18. Only the Guilty

**Whoo! I'm sorry this has taken a while but although this chapter's shorter than the last one- it's pretty intense. I was going to keep things pretty mellow for a while but the story ran away from me and I had to wrestle with it for a while.**

**It's -uh- I finished this feeling pretty emotionally exhausted._  
><em>**.

_"I have another request... I want to know where Sasuke Uchiha's being kept, and who has the key to his cell."_

_The twist in her gut sharpened, but the glint in Kano's eye chilled her, and fear won over guilt in the end._

_It always had._

_"Consider it done."_

.

What was she doing?

"Masako?" Hanako's voice called, uncertainly. "Is that you?"

"Hanako." Masako forced a smile, trying not to meet her sister's wide black eyes. "What are you doing up so late?" She walked over to Hanako's bedroom door and blocked the younger girl's view. "Don't you have training tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Hanako muttered, "But you weren't back and I was worried."

Masako smiled and ruffled her little sister's hair. "Idiot. Where's Dad?"

"Asleep." Masako's hand stilled, and she fought back the bitterness with an even wider smile than before. She ushered Hanako back into her room.

"Hey, don't worry about me. What's the worst that can happen in Konoha? We're safe as houses." Masako whispered, kneeling beside the bed as Hanako watched her with sleepy eyes. Fondly, Masako stroked Hanako's baby pink hair, watching the way it shimmered in the moonlight. Hanako was so pure, so innocent- Masako was cruel for even cherishing this closeness with her sister- she knew she'd eventually turn out -wrong- somehow. It was mean of her to be dragging Hanako down by association.

"I had a bad feeling." Hanako mumbled, "Like something horrible is about to happen. I keep having these _nightmares_ about being kept in a dark room... and there's a man with red eyes..." She trailed off, face scrunched up in pain at an almost-forgotten memory.

Masako bit her lip, remembering more than she should. "Red eyes? Like Dad's?"

"Like Dads..." Hanako muttered. "But _not like Dad's_. They were different. They were evil."

"It's just a dream." Masako soothed, rubbing circles into Hanako's arm. "It's not real."

"It feels real." Hanako whispered, growing more and more convinced in her own words. "It feels..."

"Like a prediction?" The dark haired girl tweaked Hanako's nose, teasing. "You're not psychic, Hanako- there's no such thing as evil, just people that get confused. Go to sleep. I'll be here in the morning."

"Promise?" Hanako caught her sister's hand, gripping it tight.

"I promise." Masako whispered, standing up and giving Hanako a kiss on the forehead before heading back out to her room.

But after closing Hanako's door, she picked up the bag she'd been carrying and slunk out of the upper floor window, landing silently on the paving outside. Before she'd even had a chance to take another step, Kano was in front of her.

"You've got the info?"

"Not here." Masako hissed, glancing back to the house in horror. "We were going to meet at the bar!"

"The bar's not safe. I need the scrolls now." Kano snapped, grabbing Masako's bag and checking the contents. "Is this everything?"

"Blueprints, names, maps. Everything you need." Masako ground out, fuming silently. "The trial's at dawn- you won't be able to change the outcome this late in the game, you should have come to me sooner."

"I came to you at exactly the right time." Kano hissed, his calm demeanour from the day before gone. "So shut up- it's none of your business." He looked over the scrolls quickly, not meeting Masako's eyes as he dropped the heavy purse at her feet. She glanced down, and shook her head.

"Give those back." Masako sighed, hands on hips. "I'm not doing this."

"What?" Kano laughed, shaking his head dismissively. "Just take the money, rat."

"I'm serious." Masako hissed. "I've changed my mind. I don't want your money." She made a grab for the bag but Kano -easily a higher level Chuunin- simply stepped out of range. Irritated, Masako darted after him, and managed to get a firm hold on the bag.

Obviously not expecting Masako to be able to match his speed, Kano faltered, and Masako took the opportunity to grab a handful of scrolls bound together. She spun to face Kano but he was stood by the money, and before Masako could gather her wits he was gone.

So was the money.

"Stupid." Masako knelt on the dusty pavement with the heels of her hands pressed to her eyes firmly. "Stupid!" Until now she'd been involved with relatively low-level crime within the village- something about the way Kano approached her had riled her enough to make her fulfil his request to prove that she could.

Her ego had gotten the better of her, and now she was involved in what could potentially become high-level treachery. She should have said no. She should have backed out sooner.

Kano knew where she lived. He'd be back for these scrolls soon.

Standing, and praying that their scuffle outside her family home hadn't roused her Father, Masako checked the labelling on the five scrolls she'd managed to take from Kano's clutches. They contained the identities and leanings of the five high-ranking Konoha villagers who would be deciding Sakura's fate. Disappointed, Masako tucked the scrolls into her jacket.

Even if Kano had these, he wouldn't have had time to influence their decisions, or threaten them. Sakura's hearing was at dawn, so that meant that he had the much more valuable blueprints and secrets concerning Sasuke Uchiha's imprisonment.

Masako turned wildly at the sound of boot crunching against gravel, and leapt for obscurity and safety in the leafy trees of her neighbour's garden. A civilian teenager skulked past, evidently out after their curfew, and Masako breathed a tiny sigh of relief; she wasn't in any immediate danger from Kano- he was probably stashing the scrolls he'd managed to take and giving himself a smug pat on the back for getting the better loot.

Masako wasn't brave enough to chase after a man who wished her harm, so she instead headed to the safest place she knew.

.

"Dad? ... I can't sleep."

"Hm?" Kakashi turned to see his eldest child in her PJs with a stuffed bear under one arm. "You're having nightmares?"

"Yeah." She laughed nervously. "It's pretty stupid but..."

"C'mere." Kakashi held out an arm and beckoned. When Masako hesitated, he chuckled mildly. "Don't be embarrassed. Come give your old man a hug." He felt a strange sort of warmth as Masako ducked her head so that her hair covered her face and practically ran to join him under the covers. "Nightmares are nothing to be ashamed of." He rubbed the back of her head sleepily as she curled into his chest.

"Sorry I woke you."

Kakashi smiled softly, sleepily, and rubbed his eldest daughter's back soothingly; she'd had a troubled childhood- one for which he was at least partly responsible for. As a younger child she had often come into his room asking for a reassuring hug when the darkness affected her too badly. She needed him less now but still, an old man should be allowed to feel like the great and strong Father every once in a while.

He knew it wasn't always nightmares that haunted her. He didn't know what it was that she was getting herself into but children would always act up, and hopefully she'd rely on him a little if things got bad.

Even if he was responsible for the way she used people. If he hadn't used her to gather information about Sakura, if he hadn't trained her to spy on the very worst of mankind, then maybe she would have grown up a little gentler the way Hanako had.

So he would guard her from her nightmares until she believed in him a little more. Even if it meant waiting until he was nothing more than a name on the memorial stone.

Fatherhood was funny.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"What would happen if I said..." She buried her face further into his side. "That I was in trouble?"

"You're always in trouble." Kakashi murmured quietly, but his eyebrows furrowed. "But I'll get you out of it. Just like back at the academy."

"This wouldn't be like back at the academy." She said quietly. "It's not something as easy as getting in trouble for selling Shikamaru's cigarettes to genin."

"Well as children grow larger, so do their problems." Kakashi sighed. "I'm your Dad, Masako, not your probation officer. That's Udon."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"My point is." Kakashi continued, smiling as the ease in Masako's shoulders eased, and she settled a little more comfortably into his side. "That there is nothing you can do that will make me lose faith in you, okay? I don't let my teammates down. I'm even more tenacious when it comes to family."

"Right." Masako smirked. "And you're even worse when it comes to the lovely Sakura."

"Ah, well." Her father chuckled. "Sakura's a teammate and family." Well wasn't that a slip up if ever he'd made one. Hastily, Kakashi cleared his throat and tried to fix his mistake. "I mean, although Sakura's never been a ninja- good friends should always be considered teammates and..."

"Dad, you don't really think I forgot all that information I gathered about her back then do you?"

Kakashi paused. "No. You're right, of course. Sorry Masako."

"I've not told Hanako, if that's what you're worried about." Masako replied, a little surly. "I'm sure you two know what you're doing- raising her in a bubble."

Kakashi frowned. "... Masako..."

Masako's face paled and she clung to him a little tighter. "I'm sorry. Sorry, please. I didn't mean it."

SIlently, Kakashi simply rubbed Masako's back in comforting, gentle circles. She was whispering apologies until she exhausted herself and fell asleep, curled tightly against her Father's side.

For a long time Kakashi stared up at the ceiling, stroking the long black hair of his eldest child. How had it come to this? He had thought Masako was improving and integrating better into village life; she was always out with friends and working hard on successful missions... Had she really gotten into that much trouble? Who with? If someone had hurt her... His hand fisted by his side at the thought.

But really, how much trouble could one get into inside Konoha's walls? Masako wasn't the sort of girl to exaggerate but she was going through puberty... maybe she'd just embarrassed herself in front of a boy.

He would stand by her and defend her whatever happened. He would do the same for Hanako.

But surely it couldn't be that bad?

The next morning Masako was gone.

.

"Sakura Haruno do you understand the charges for which you were imprisoned?"

I nodded, not quite trusting myself to speak as I faced the elected council and clan leaders at my trial. Those deemed too close to me had been left uninvited, so Kakashi and Naruto were not present. Just my luck.

"You have served your sentence now for about... eight years, correct?"

"I think so." I nodded. "It's difficult to keep track of the days."

"Hmm. Quite." The councilwoman huffed, and looked down at her papers. "It would appear that you haven't left the cottage once, and haven't discussed any forbidden subjects while under house arrest. Your brief... fraternisation with Hatake was ended when we called for it, and Hanako has been brought up largely ignorant of your history."

Again, I simply nodded.

This wouldn't be enough to give me freedom. I knew it.

"Sakura has also assisted greatly working as a walk-in clinic doctor for civilians and ninjas both. ANBU themselves regularly use her services when reporting in after missions as she is much closer than the hospital, and also delivers the same results." Tsunade interjected. "Her ANBU guard has lessened considerably over time and once assured her daughter was in a stable environment Sakura has continued to serve her sentence with humility and respect."

"She has behaved well." Hinata's father spoke. "But we are not yet assured that she fully repents for her defection and subsequent crimes. Need I remind you of them?"

The room fell silent, and the air felt distinctly uncomfortable as the various members of my jury looked away from each other.

I had to look down myself, once Tsunade turned her eyes on me.

"Do you?" The Hokage asked, simply, addressing me directly to much displeased muttering from the council. "Do you repent?"

"Running away was stupid of me." I started, and caught the Inuzuka leader rolling her eyes. "At the time I was afraid, but I am now aware of just how blind I was to the support of my friends and the... unwavering sense of justice this Village has."

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

"Though I betrayed Konoha through leaving, I also betrayed myself and my child by denying us both the love and support that Konoha offers its inhabitants." I managed a shaky looking smile, but it must have seemed genuine enough. "I can't change the past. I can only beg forgiveness."

Tsunade looked tearful, but the councilwoman wasn't satisfied. "Pretty words, girl. But the crimes that put you to the top of the bingo book were no fight-or-flight instinct. You are known to have killed innocent civilians that recognised you, infiltrated allied Villages and traded information with our enemies for _money_." She shook her head. "These are not the actions of a young naive girl who got into trouble... these are the actions of a calculating rogue ninja who will do anything she can to destroy her former home."

I closed my eyes, trying to fight back memories or that darker time.

The crone wouldn't let me.

"Read out a full list of her crimes, as recorded by the investigations team."

_Please, no._

"Defected from Konoha without the Hokage's permission. Took a child -unborn- out of her rightful home. Stole supplies from surrounding, affiliated civilian towns. Broke the arm of a farmer who caught her stealing..."

As my previous crimes were read aloud, I found myself reliving every moment as though it was happening afresh, I felt how I'd felt as I progressed from a desperate refugee to a hardened woman who thought nothing of taking a farming village's hard-earned crops... But it got worse.

"... stole expensive, rare medicines from a rural hospital in the land of Wind and sold them on the black market. This resulted in the death of a young genin returning from his first mission out of Sunagakure."

I'd seen that boy as I'd made my escape. He had been shivering from infection, with the tell-tale signs of the poison the antidote in my hand could cure.

I'd just turned away.

"Murdered a young man in-"

"Stop." A voice cut through the air and I opened my eyes to look at the one who'd called an end to the reading. Shino stood at the table, his bugs whizzing around his head frantically. "Can't you see what this is doing to her?"

The councilwoman peered at me, and I realised for the first time that I was shaking. It wasn't a fine tremor but my body was actually shaking. My arms were wrapped around myself tightly and my teeth chattered uncontrollably. Under the scrutiny of everyone in the room, I pulled my arms away from my torso and clenched my fists at my sides. Summoning as much control of my body as I still had I managed to subdue the shaking to a fine tremor in my hands, and I lifted my chin once more to meet the eyes of those around me.

I couldn't show... no, I _wouldn't_ appear so weak at my own hearing.

"I think we're done here." Tsunade said coldly, and gestured for me to be taken away. "The jury will vote."

I was taken back to my house, marched through the corridors of the Hokage tower to much whispering and staring. Most of the staff I didn't recognise, but the few who had worked with me in the past were keeping their eyes averted anyway.

Would I be freed?

Could I be freed? I wasn't so sure anymore. I'd suppressed most of the horrors of what I'd done to keep things light for Hanako and had somehow almost completely erased them from my own memories. Having them read out like that had brought everything very sharply, very painfully into focus.

I could feel the blood on my hands. I could feel the rage that had led me there.

But that wasn't who I was. Was it? I wasn't that rage-fuelled, murderous creature that had instilled such fear into the hearts of the allied villages. I was Sakura, mother to Hanako. I was Sakura, who had sometimes hit Naruto on the head to stop him from putting his foot in his mouth again. I was Sakura, who had fallen in love with Kakashi because of that one moment a lifetime ago.

I was _Sakura_. Naruto's Sakura-chan, Sai's Hag, Ino's Forehead, Kakashi's Sakura who had been scared and alone and had turned into someone else.

And that someone else wasn't gone.

I could feel her resenting the ANBU guard's hands on my shoulder as I was urged through my own front door.

I could feel her urging me to burn the Village to the ground.

But that wasn't who I was. I wasn't that person. I couldn't be.

I curled up on my sofa with my head in my hands, trying to push that woman from my head, from my heart. I resented the village, sure, but I didn't hate it. Konoha had given me so much, and where it had failed me...

Deep breaths, calm down.

_It had failed me_.

I was too angry, too hurt, too damaged.

With a sick, twisting feeling in my gut I realised one thing for certain.

I wasn't ready to be released. I wasn't safe to be out in Konoha, mingling with everyone else and pretending that this rage didn't burn on.

They had to keep me locked up or I might lose myself.

"Sakura." Tsunade called, standing in my doorway with a sympathetic smile. "The council has decided."

"Tsunade-sama, I-!"

"You have served time enough in here." Tsunade interrupted. "We have ruled that you're ready to be rehabilitated -slowly- into society."

I wanted to scream, to shake her and tell her how this wasn't possible. I couldn't be released- what if I wasn't the same person anymore?

But none of that happened. None of those words came out. I didn't cry, I didn't tell Tsunade that I could feel years of calm breaking like ice as the rage burned stronger and stronger still.

I should have told her that they didn't even know half of what I'd done out there. They didn't know that I'd done _worse_.

But I didn't.

_I smiled._


	19. Another Life

_"You have served time enough in here." Tsunade interrupted. "We have ruled that you're ready to be rehabilitated -slowly- into society."_

_I wanted to scream, to shake her and tell her how this wasn't possible. I couldn't be released- what if I wasn't the same person anymore?_

_But none of that happened. None of those words came out. I didn't cry, I didn't tell Tsunade that I could feel years of calm breaking like ice as the rage burned stronger and stronger still._

_I should have told her that they didn't even know half of what I'd done out there. They didn't know that I'd done worse._

_But I didn't._

_I smiled._

.

"Oh, Sakura. How exciting!" Ino brushed through little Makino's hair as I pottered around the small bungalow, picking up the few items of value that weren't owned by Konoha, but by me. "I thought it would be another two years." Makino winced as her mother caught a tangled knot, but Ino simply teased it loose with a sigh. "Makino, you always let your hair get so messy."

"Mum!"

"It's true." Ino scolded. "You're as bad as Yoshio."

Makino shifted on the floor in front of Ino, who fussed and fretted over the young Academy student's hair the way my mother used to fret over mine. The way I'd fretted over Hanako's.

Well, back when she'd let me.

"Hanako is the same." I smiled reminiscently, "She's always getting into scrapes and getting her hair a mess." I folded a throw rug and shook my head. "It must be my influence though... Masako's hair is wonderful and sleek."

"Kakashi's hair's always been a mess, as far as I can tell." Ino chuckled. "Maybe it's genetic."

I checked the kitchen one last time for any food, and huffed quietly. "You know she was meant to be helping me today." I grunted, scrubbing clean a stain left on the kitchen side. I blew falling hair from my face as I applied a little more strength to my scrubbing.

"Who, Masako?"

"Hanako. And Kakashi." I grimaced, checking the time. "Kakashi said he'd get them here for 10."

Ino laughed softly, patting Makino's shoulder to tell her she had finished. "Well if it's Kakashi, I'm not surprised." She stood and proceeded to finish dusting the bookshelves- the job she'd started when she got here.

"He's three hours late." I grunted, furiously scrubbing- what had I spilled here? "And Hanako's never late." Always too eager to please her parents and her superiors... I wonder where she got that from.

"Sakura!" Ino chided. "The wood!"

I looked to her in surprise, before looking back to my hand. "Ah." I stepped back, running worn fingers through my hair. There, where the stain had been -where it still was, annoyingly- I'd cracked the solid wooden surface of the counter top. "I didn't know I could still do that."

Ino checked over her shoulder and came to stand at my shoulder, wrapping her arm around my back protectively. "Try to be careful- I know you're careful anyway-" She said quickly, as I opened my mouth to object, "But remember you still have enemies in this village, people who remember what you did." She stroked my hair affectionately, and I took a deep, calming breath in an attempt to take in her well-meant advice. "Don't jump back into training, blend in as a civilian as much as you can. Remember; the nail that sticks out must be hammered down. So they say."

"Indeed." I nodded and managed a small smile. "I'll be careful, promise."

I turned my head slightly to see that Ino was looking down at the countertop with a frown, and was slightly taken aback to see that she seemed almost angry- as though my little show of strength was something abhorrent.

I almost said something, but remembered myself at the last moment; the fact that Ino was my friend didn't mean she would be above reporting her concerns to those to whom she would always be most loyal.

Konoha, you just keep taking them from me, don't you?

"Oh, you're done already?" Kakashi asked lightly, knocking once on the doorframe as he entered. Seeing Makino reading on the sofa, he offered a smile and a wave. "Oh hi, Makino. How are you doing?"

"Bored." Makino shot her mother a dark look. "And they're whispering."

"Women are prone to doing so."

"Not Ino." I grinned. "Ino never could keep her voice down." I eyed Kakashi narrowly. "Where's Hanako?"

"Hanako wanted to meet her friends for lunch. I didn't think it would be a problem." Kakashi looked between Ino and I warily. "Why?"

"Nothing." I said, a little snippily. "It would just be nice to have had some help today, that's all..." Before I could say any more, Kakashi was at my elbow, his hand on my arm and his head ducked so that he could meet my eyes. Ino bustled over to fuss over her daughter and to give the two of us some space.

"Hey," He murmured. "You're not angry about that are you? I just had to help an old lady who'd spilled a bag of oranges in the street..." I giggled slightly at that, and swatted his arm half heartedly.

"Yeah, ok. I get it." I grinned and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Now, you can help by carrying the boxes out to the cart." I winked at Ino. "All of them."

"Oh..." Kakashi scratched his cheek thoughtfully. "Well I would, but you see an old man like me will struggle with his back..." He paused. "Is it at all worth my time to keep talking?"

"Oh, feel free to keep talking, while you're carrying." I laughed, picking up one of the heavier boxes with only very slight assistance from my chakra strength. Not enough to cause a glow, or raise one of Ino's perfectly sculpted eyebrows. "Thanks for coming to help, Ino."

"My pleasure." Ino smiled, and beckoned to her bored daughter. "Come on Makino, you can help with this bit."

With much pouting and moaning on Kakashi's part, the four of us got the cart loaded fairly quickly, and we were waving Ino and Makino off before any of us expected. It was only as Kakashi began to pull the cart away from me that I noticed his clothes.

"Well that's unusual." I smirked. "Why are you dressed in shorts Kakashi? Capris, sure, I've come to accept them, but shorts?" I eyed his sandals with distaste. "And... socks and sandals?" I fell into step beside him, smirking as he chuckled away to himself.

"My uniform, as I've told you multiple times, does not consist of capris." Kakashi put on his absolute best hurt voice, and turned one doleful eye on me. "Capris aren't manly enough. I wear short trousers... ninja trousers. For moving around more easily."

"Yeah, yeah."

"It's true! Ask Naruto."

"Naruto still wears orange jumpsuits! You can't rely on him for fashion advice!"

"... Sai?"

"Sai wears belly tops more than Ino ever did."

Kakashi looked down at his shorts with a pout. "Well I thought that these would be better for going to the park later. I've managed to persuade Hanako and Masako to clear their afternoons so that we can all go out together." He paused. "Maybe the socks were too much."

"Maybe." I agreed, eyeing his socks'n'sandals look dubiously. "You look every inch the uncool father."

He shot me an amused glance. "Even with the mask?"

"Neck down, then."

"What about my bulging biceps."

"Doesn't change a thing."

"What about-"

"You're just some kid's old man now, Kakashi." I laughed, and he rolled his eyes dramatically. "Oh, what I'd have given to have seen you at the kids' sports days!"

"I won every damn trophy going and I looked incredibly fashionable whilst doing so." Kakashi grinned. "Sai was furious."

"Probably more offended that you wore the socks and sandals than that you won." Sai had never struck me as the petty type, but he did appreciate the aesthetically pleasing things in life. "Oh, is this your house?" We came to a stop outside a modest, average looking two storey house with large windows and sloping roofs.

There was a small fence around the house, with a garden and modern double glazed windows. I could see the white backs of printed photographs taped to one of the upstairs rooms- probably Hanako's, in a teenage attempt to personalise her living space.

"Are you sure this is alright?" I asked, helping Kakashi place wedges under the wheels of the cart. "Me... Staying here with you?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Kakashi asked, picking up one of the boxes. "You're not intruding. Your daughter lives here."

"And it's only temporary." I smiled at him, picking up another, larger box with ease. "I'll find my own place as soon as I can. I just- I had to get out of that place."

Kakashi turned to smile at me over his shoulder, his single, visible dark eye warm with understanding. I felt guilt knot in my stomach at the openness in his face; that same openness that I'd worked so hard to earn from him all those years ago. It was so fitting that Kakashi worked with dog summons; once his trust was earned, and his confidence gained, it was nearly impossible to break that bond with him.

No matter what I did to him, he was still there with that single, warm black eye turned on me.

I felt my darkness stir, whispering in my ear that he didn't deserve my pity, that he was an agent of Konoha who would always... always choose the lives of the many instead of the happiness of the few.

But... oh, how I yearned to be like him. So noble, so giving. No matter Kakashi's faults (and I knew that he had many) he was still probably one of the best men I knew. Second only to Naruto.

"I've set up the guest room for you." Kakashi threw over his shoulder as he led me into the house, stepping out of his sandals and straight onto the wooden floor. "It's not the largest, but we don't get many overnight guests so..."

"It's fine." I smiled, following him into the small room at the top of the stairs. "It's perfect."

Perfect was a bit far fetched, but I appreciated the lengths he'd gone to in an attempt to make the place more homely. A picture of Naruto and I after Naruto's Chuunin promotion sat on the windowsill next to a small cactus plant with cheery yellow flowers. Beside that was a photo that must have been found back in Suna. A young Hanako and I stood in front of Taniyama's inn, Hanako barely reaching my hip in height, and waving joyfully at the camera.

Where on earth could he have gotten that? I couldn't even remember it being taken- it had been so long ago. I thought I'd destroyed all the photos from back then when I'd made my escape... Apparently not.

It didn't matter much now anyway.

.

With all my things unpacked, I went with Kakashi to return the borrowed cart to its rightful owner- a fruit stand owner. The little old lady gushed about how helpful Kakashi had been picking up all her oranges when the bag had broken that morning and I sent him a thin smile.

"Fine, you can have this one." I said quietly to him as we left.

He grinned under his mask. "I told you I'd stopped to help an old lady this morning."

"Blah blah blah." I smirked, punching him lightly in the arm. "I get it." We walked in companionable proximity through the sunny streets, stopping just once to pick up some bread, milk and ham from the corner shop. I laughed freely as conversation flowed, and it felt just like I was sixteen again, flirting harmlessly with my superior as we walked through Konoha, running errands.

But I didn't feel as strong as I used to be; a Genin knocked into me, running through the streets, and I gasped at the impact, almost falling to the side. I heard a quick "Sorry Lady!" from behind me as Kakashi caught my shoulder, looking confused.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." I smiled, massaging my side. "Kids are strong nowadays."

"Hm? No stronger than you guys were." Kakashi sounded amused, looking up as he lost himself in nostalgia. "I remember three persistent little Genin chasing after a puppy in the street, not even noticing that they left chaos in their wake." He chuckled. "I had to personally help rebuild three different shop fronts, and pay for an upturned basket of mangoes."

"I don't remember." I murmured, trying to think back. Had Naruto, Sasuke and I really chased after a puppy with such enthusiasm? I couldn't imagine any of us doing that now- well, maybe Naruto would, but Sasuke? Me?

Kakashi peered down at me. "Well you were young, carefree... why would you remember something so small? For me it was the first time I realised being your sensei was a full time occupation; rather than a job, I was as responsible for you as your parents were." He breathed in deeply. "Things changed a lot after that, but it's a memory I treasure; in those days all three of you were so unburdened, whereas now..."

"We're damaged."

"We all are." Kakashi nodded, pushing open the gate to his house. "But we count our blessings and make the best of what we have."

I thought about that for a moment, watching his back as he unlocked the door and entered, calling out "I'm home!" like my father had done so many times in my own childhood; that strange mix of habit and love, announcing to his family -whether they were there or not- that he had returned.

When had Kakashi become so domesticated? It was bizarre.

"What are your blessings, Kakashi?" I asked softly, mostly to myself, but he heard me as he always did.

Turning to face me, he shrugged off his jacket, slipped into his slippers, and leaned against the wall with his arms folded.

He tugged down his mask, revealing that strange tan line that had once sent me into fits of giggles, and smiled. I couldn't read him at all- he was so infuriating! That mysterious little smile remained on his face as he turned and headed into the kitchen, quietly humming absently to himself like an old man as he poured out two cups of tea.

Following him through, I was overwhelmed with a sense of belonging. It didn't sit well with me, and I had to cross my arms across my chest, and turn away from Kakashi's back to look out of the window into the garden. There were the signs of a ninja family; lots of space, worn down grass from too much sparring, the targets on the far wall... it was all so lived in and familiar I had to bite my lip.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked, voice low in my ear as he put his arm around me, passing me my cup of tea from behind. He was much too close, with his chin brushing the top of my head and his chest so close I could feel his heat against my back.

I took the cup from him, but didn't move from where I stood.

A long moment of silence stretched between us, but it was that easy, comfortable kind of silence I'd only ever shared with him. I didn't need to look at him to know that he looked bored; his mouth was turned down at the corners, the way his naturally did, and his heavy lidded eyes were probably staring into space...

Lips touched my exposed shoulder.

Oh, ok... maybe I was wrong about the boredom thing.

The strap of my sundress felt that bit too thick and heavy as his chin nudged my hair away from my neck and he pressed his mouth to the pulse point on my neck.

I wasn't sure what he was looking for in me. It had been so long since we'd been together that way, and things had become almost completely platonic... Just two good friends who shared a child. Maybe he just wanted something physical, or maybe he was just relieved that I was free, or maybe he still had some faint feelings for me...

I didn't even know how I felt about him touching me this way, but I set the cup down, and turned to meet his lips with mine.

Maybe we both just needed a release.

"You." He murmured between long, close kisses. "You are one of my blessings, and all that you've given me. I'm so, so blessed."

Little warning bells went off in the back of my head, but I couldn't hear them over the sound of my heart thudding painfully in my chest, so I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and pulled him closer.

We fucked desperately there in the living room, me sat on the windowsill with my legs around his hips, kissing forcefully and hissing dangerous words to each other.

It was quick; both of us had gone without for too long, and we both knew each other too well for there to be any clumsiness. We knew what each other liked, and we knew we didn't have long before someone caught us.

In the moments after, Kakashi kept himself supported on trembling arms either side of my hips. His one visible eye boring into mine. He looked on the verge of saying something important... too important to be said while we were still intertwined and flushed on his kitchen windowsill. Despite myself, I reached out a hand and pushed his hitai-ate up off of his face. Those tired, mis-matched eyes flickered as he drank me in, saying nothing.

"I'm home!" A voice called from the hallway, and Hanako entered the room to find me sat on the windowsill drinking tea, and Kakashi in the kitchen pouring out another cup. "Oh, Mum. You're here." She smiled at me, approaching to give me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Where were you?" Kakashi asked from the kitchen, lifting the cup to his slightly bruised-looking lips. "You were meant to help your Mother and I with the move."

"You said I could go." Hanako chirped, leaning on the countertop and grabbing an apple.

"It's ok." I assured Kakashi. "You must have inherited Dad's time keeping skills." I cracked a nervous smile at her, and she shrugged.

"Must have!"

She swept back out of the room, running upstairs while calling down that she'd be eating dinner at Yoshio's house tonight, to an angry pursing of Kakashi's lips that I hadn't ever seen before.

Maybe it was his annoyed-Dad-face.

"Hanako!" He called up, "We're meant to be going out for dinner tonight, remember?"

"Why?" Hanako came back downstairs in a different set of clothes, and I noticed the barest hint of a young teenage girl dressing up in the flower clip in her hair, and the pretty white skirt she wore. "Isn't Mum scared of public spaces?"

The backstory would be hard to get away from.

"It's ok." I said again, shaking my head. "I'm feeling tired anyway. It might be nice to just stay in." The displeasure didn't leave Kakashi's face, but he managed a wry smile in defeat, and allowed Hanako out. "Have fun Hanako!"

"Thanks Mum! You too!" She called back, and the door slammed shut.

"Is she always so... um..." I thought carefully. "... Hurried?"

"Life and soul of the party, that one." Kakashi grumbled, and I smiled at the furrowed concern in his brow. "Always rushing between friends. She needs to focus on her training more, and slow down before her youth is gone."

"You're such a Dad." I smiled warmly, and pinked a little as he smiled back at me. "It's weird seeing the two of you in your home environment."

"Yours too." He supplied, and I couldn't quite meet his eyes.

"Where's Masako? Is she as flighty as Hanako?"

Kakashi hummed, and moved to sit on the sofa. After a moment's hesitation I joined him, wondering slightly at the total lack of awkwardness I still felt around him; we'd grown more comfortable with each other while I was imprisoned. Rather than our tempestuous and fiery relationship of thirteen years ago, we were older, wiser, and less fazed by each other. "Masako is much quieter than Hanako, but she's strong, and reliable, which makes people like her. They're very different, but they get along well." He smirked. "Well, they fight like cat and dog too, but mostly they get on."

"Like Ino and I." I mused. "I suppose thats just how sisters are."

"It's exhausting." Kakashi grumbled, eyes sliding shut as he leaned his head back. "I mostly just leave them to it."

"I can imagine." I grinned, thinking back to how Kakashi was with Naruto and Sasuke as Genin.

"I'm... uh, sorry for pouncing on you before." Kakashi mumbled, tugging his mask up and glancing at me sheepishly. "I normally wouldn't dream of... not with the girls around..."

The way he was sat, fingers gripping his mask over his nose and the way it was his red eye that was watching me warily, was so adorable that I laughed. He looked so young, as though he was hiding from some awful imagined punishment, that I reached over to ruffle his hair, a teasing smirk playing about my lips. "It was pretty close, with Hanako walking in, wasn't it?"

"Don't remind me." Kakashi groaned. "It's a good job Hanako was in a rush... Masako would have figured it out straight away."

"But don't be sorry." I interrupted, hand sliding from the top of his head to cup his cheek. "It's fine. Uh... more than fine." I amended cheekily, flushing slightly. "It's... been a while. I guess."

"Me too." Kakashi coughed. "I mean, I never... It would have felt wrong, like I was cheating."

I pulled back, flustered. "You didn't need to do that." But he caught my hand, and let his mask back down. "I wouldn't have held it against you... We both decided it was better not to be..." I trailed off at the sad look in his eyes.

Oh God, whatever he was going to say, he was going to say it now.

I couldn't handle that.

"Anyway... I told Ino I'd call her once I was settled." I stuttered hastily, jumping up and pulling from Kakashi's grasp. "She wanted to come and help me look at potential new apartments tomorrow- that's okay right?"

Kakashi wasn't allowed to get attached again. He had to be kept at arm's length or else when I eventually got my revenge on Konoha he'd be crushed once again.

"... Yeah, of course." Kakashi managed, but his voice sounded strained. "But... you can stay as long as you need to. As long as you want."

It was that raw, hurt part of him that I'd created when I left the first time showing itself. He'd always been so smooth, and I'd damaged him when I ran away, in a way he'd probably never really recover from. It made my chest tight and my head hurt, because I...

I still cared for him. I always would.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi." I whispered, once in the hallway, praying that his hearing wasn't good enough to hear me, and praying just as hard that it was.

.

"Pleasure doing business with you, as always." The Chuunin grinned at Masako as he got up to leave. "I'd heard a rumour that you got into some trouble with a contact, and I'm glad to see it hasn't put you out of business."

"Nothing I can't handle." Masako smiled easily, tucking her payment into her shirt. "This is a risky business."

"Yeah." The older boy grinned. "You can handle yourself though. I saw you in the exams."

Masako feigned a pleased blush. "Oh, you flatter me."

"Well anyway..." The Chuunin glanced around at the bar's other clientele quickly, keeping a watchful eye out for snoops. "If there's anything you need..."

"Actually." Masako said, a little to carelessly, as though it was an afterthought. "There is something."

Grimacing, the brown haired boy sat back down. "What?"

"You work as Naruto's aide in the Hokage tower, right?" The boy's eyes widened, and he shifted uneasily. "I need someone with your level of access to do me a favour, and it will mean I owe you big, understand?" He nodded. "Someone unfortunate has gotten their hands on the Western Prison blueprints, and I need you to draw attention to that. It has to look like someone broke into the record rooms, and while you're there..." She passed a pack of scrolls to him under the table. "These need to be put back in there, under file name 'Haruno Sakura', got it?

"Masako..."

"Teo!" Masako hissed, "This is serious."

"It's your problem, not mine..." Teo protested weakly, growing more anxious as they attracted a few too many curious stares. "I can't help you."

"Do you really want me as an enemy, Teo?" Masako whispered, sitting back in the chair as she too, grew wary of the attention they attracted. "We've known each other a long time, and if it comes out what I've been doing here, my whole client list will come out too." Her icy blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "Alright?"

Teo swallowed, angry. "Hell, Masako..."

"Take. The. Scrolls." Masako said, cool and calm as she nudged his knee with the papers. Cornered, Teo tucked the scrolls into his pocket. "Thank you." Masako nodded, taking a sip of her sake. "You're doing the right thing."

"The right thing would have been never to get involved with you."

"That's a quick change of heart. I thought it was 'Always a pleasure'?" Masako quipped, not looking at Teo as he stood again to leave. "See you around."

"You owe me, Hatake Masako." Teo warned her, and strode from the bar.

Exhaling a deep sigh of relief, Masako downed the rest of her sake. She nodded to the bartender and placed her usual tip on the table, pulling her hood up as she slipped into the ladies toilets and out of the window. It really was a dangerous business she was in, but she couldn't stop now. She'd been raised a spy and would die a spy, no matter who she was working for.

The cool air soothed her, and she took a deep breath as she crouched in the shadows under the eaves of the low buildings that made up this part of town. It was dusk, and most respectable ninja her age were either heading home or leaving on missions at this time.

So when she saw the shadow at the end of the alley, stood waiting for her, she knew it wasn't likely to be any of her small-fry contacts.

"Oh, I didn't realise you were still doing business around here." She said, a little hesitantly when the other ninja stepped into the light. "Come all this way for me?"

"This is for you." the figure tossed a small scroll her way, and she stared down at it in surprise. "I'm not here to help, just to pass on the message."

And with that he was gone again, but Masako barely noticed- her hands began to tremble as she read the note over quickly once, and then again to be sure. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled uncomfortably and she risked a glance over her shoulder, heart beginning to thump erratically.

.

"We were all meant to go for dinner tonight, as a family." Kakashi glowered over the table at his two daughters. Both had come home too late to be normal, and he'd caught them sneaking in through their bedroom windows. "I'm glad Sakura has gone to bed already, so she doesn't have to see what utter disregard you've shown for both of us tonight. Coming in through the window, really?"

Hanako twisted her hands guiltily, and couldn't seem to get her words out.

Kakashi rubbed his chin absently, and narrowed his eyes at Masako. "I don't even know where you've been going recently." He challenged. "Don't think I haven't noticed. You disappear for hours at a time and when you come back you're not yourself."

Masako sat, totally composed and giving nothing away, but narrowed her eyes slightly. Kakashi didn't miss it.

"Tomorrow, we're going to all get up early and go to the park for a picnic, as we were supposed to do today. Both of you will be on your best behaviour, and apologise for missing Sakura today. We'll say I got the dates mixed up, and that will be the end of this. Understood?"

Both his daughters nodded slightly, and he sat back in the dining chair as he waved them off in a casual dismissal. Hanako all but vanished in her haste to escape him, but Masako tensed, and didn't move.

"Dad." She whispered. "Can I please stay in your room tonight?"

Kakashi sighed, watching the way her eyes flicked to the darkened windows with a barely detectable trace of panic. "What have you been doing, Masako?" He asked quietly, his stomach twisting. "I need to know or I can't help you."

"It's a bit late for that." She whispered, but Kakashi heard her just the same.

He stood slowly, and Masako glanced at him warily.

"Perhaps tonight isn't the best time, but..." Kakashi ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Tomorrow morning, before we go for the picnic. I need you to tell me what's going on. I can't promise I won't be angry, but I will help you as best I can. Got it?"

She nodded meekly, and followed him upstairs in silence, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she caught sight of a shadow pass by the window.


	20. Chapter 20

Ok, I haven't updated this in a long time, and it's not because I don't love the story, it's because I can't take it where I want to anymore.

The original plan was to stop before the time skip. The story should have ended there, and thats where I want it to end- Sasuke gets exposed, Hanako and Sakura get reunited, Kakashi gets to give being a proper father a go (to both Hanako and Masako) and Sakura turns herself in to atone for her crimes.

I wanted this to be about how everyone needs to take responsibility for their actions, even the good guys, and if I continue it then I'm going to lose that and therefore, lose interest.

This is a forewarning really, as I'm going to delete the last chapters next week, but if anyone wants to take the chapters of my little 'Shippuden' to the story and make a sequel, feel free! I'd love nothing more! (Just let me know!)

Anyway, thanks very much for all your support, this has definitely been the most popular story I've written on my own (as in, not co-written with my Ghost Hunt co-author x-Giggles-x) and I really do love it. I just don't love the second half!

Anyway, thanks so much, and I'll see you soon hopefully!


End file.
